I've relapsed again...

I always liked you OP.

I'm not a normal human being but I think that people want excitement.

They want to be _safely_ stimulated, and I believe doing exciting things with another person helps form and strengthen the bonds in a relationship.

So being practical and safe is good but it's just half the battle. You need that edge, too. You need to be able to lead a gal into the unknown and she needs to be a little afraid, in fact, with you being confident about it and then afterwards, since you seemed to know what you were doing the entire time and she didn't get hurt and in fact she laughed a lot and had a good time, you then gain her trust.

Then after you're in a relationship... doing something exciting together periodically will strengthen the bond. It's physical, hormonal brain chemicals and all that jazz.

So if you can promise to deliver something new, that's key to drawing in interest. Because then you're something that they've never come across before, like you're coming from an angle that they've never explored before, and there's mystery and intrigue to that... even though it's true that we're all something that strangers have never come across before, we still have to advertise it if we want people to know it.

I also think being able to make someone laugh is key. It's probably the most important thing to me, personally.

Also, girls love knowing that they're desired and wanted and beautiful to someone- so don't be shy about expressing if you're attracted to someone... if you can hint that you have a beast inside that you've tamed but she could possibly be the key to unleashing it, then that'll speak to her too. LOL. We're all bodies... bodies will respond.

Clothes and a nice haircut helps. Just look normal and not too crazy or dorky or like a slob, lol. A little dorky is ok as long as you are chill about it like you don't care.

There you go. Not really sure what you were asking for but... I hope this helps!

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Maybe ATS should consider having a forum for members to get dates
and mates!

a reply to: mamabeth

I think it has been used that way before.

I can see how it might create a lot of disruption though.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Well you are out there, putting yourself out there. You are doing the right thing. Be totally honest in your profile, but don't write a novel.

Yes, there is a lot of false advertising out there, LOL. All you can do is try. Cost of entry, maybe a lunch or dinner. Remember what you are really looking for!!!!

Listen, live and learn and be patient. I hate that one myself. And then after a while if nothing is connecting, take a small break. Be sure to use all the free benefits of the site you are using.

I still haven't found what I am looking for.....and that is okay.

Good Luck....I believe if it is meant to be, it will be!!

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

I've had luck, but it's pretty much a 50/50 on who gets lucky or not. To top it off, in my age bracket most that are on the dating sites are not even mature enough to tell you they aren't interested; they become "ghosts" and just suddenly drop off.

If you want back to that route - Be yourself, and think of the profile as advertising you, not their impression of you. Take pictures of yourself doing things you normally do (in my case, I have pictures of me bowling and kayaking, and the oh-so-turn-offy photos of me antiquing). You might only get a couple potential people in a month, but that's a little extra than just asking someone off the street for their number.

Finally, this one might be hard, but try not to jump too quickly into a match: I've gotten more replies by being less serious than jumping straight to the "will you join me for coffee" phase.

-foss

have a steady job. I have a sense of humor

In my opinion, that's really all that should be needed. Good work ethic and can laugh- that's the main thing. But I'm not every woman, and obviously many others value other things above that. I wouldn't recommend trying too hard to make yourself more seem appealing. They should want you as you are. It's always nice when those we care about can grow into better versions of themselves; but I would want to be accepted and wanted as I am.

originally posted by: mamabeth
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Maybe ATS should consider having a forum for members to get dates
and mates!

Indeed, plus discounts on bulk buy tinfoil....


RA

originally posted by: mamabeth
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Maybe ATS should consider having a forum for members to get dates
and mates!

pretty sure ive seen threds closed down and members banned in the passed for something like thisd

originally posted by: lortl

originally posted by: mamabeth
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Maybe ATS should consider having a forum for members to get dates
and mates!

pretty sure ive seen threds closed down and members banned in the passed for something like thisd

For sure it's an interesting idea at first.

But then you realize how many ways that it can go wrong and spill onto the rest of the site, and it just isn't a good idea for long.

Having said that--wish I had a dollar for every member who has told me they met someone through ATS for this purpose...

I'd be able to buy me a ticket to Star Trek Beyond, along with a hot dog and popcorn!

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Really people have dated from ats.

anyone found a permanent SO

originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha

originally posted by: NerdGoddess
Go on a few dates

If I could even get that far, I wouldn't be desparate for help

AH okay, how are things going in the messaging department then? Not responding at all, or responding for a bit then disappearing?

-Alee

a reply to: NerdGoddess

Messages are very few and far between.

In total, only a handful of dialogues and maybe 3 first dates. This over the course of a couple years.

I stopped trying because I found some of these people to be a bit kooky and maladjusted.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

I can see that. The only boyfriends I've had that I met on the internet.... well lets just say I'm lucky I'm alive at this point.

Do you go out a lot? Maybe try something, like a book store, or a coffee shop. Instead of places like bars or the normal "go to" places to meet new faces.

See if you see anyone checking out a certain book..... no ring? Awesome, use the book as a conversation starter

I'm just trying to throw out ideas. Dating is hard. Hell, getting someones attention in todays age is hard.

-Alee

a reply to: lortl

I am even pretty sure there are a few ATS babies someone out there too!

originally posted by: mamabeth
a reply to: lortl

I am even pretty sure there are a few ATS babies someone out there too!

lol were they born with tinfoil on theyre heads

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

I was on EHARMONY for a while. And yes, it is a lot of smoke and mirrors. It's very hard to find one person who isn't playing a game. I ended up quitting. I met a guy who said he was white. I don't mind race, that isn't the issue. The issue was, he wasn't white at all. He identified as a white male. That is something he could have said upfront but didn't. You can be truthful but ease into it. Maybe not go full steam ahead. Just stay honest, but go in bit by bit.