I've relapsed again...

a reply to: Dumbass

bro not cool. I was hoping that site was real. You have broken my heart mr Dummy! Old people are wonderful to talk to.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Honesty brother...

And don't get sexual fast

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Using technology to find a heart to which yours can be bonded safely, is like trying to use a microscope to find a mountain. If it works, then it will be the most horrendous fluke in the universe.

originally posted by: TrueBrit
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Using technology to find a heart to which yours can be bonded safely, is like trying to use a microscope to find a mountain. If it works, then it will be the most horrendous fluke in the universe.

Poppycock.....


Have you seen what Third wave feminist have done for men?, it makes it even socially unacceptable to talk to a women now, god forbid you say they look nice... At least online you have a open invitation to say hello, just make sure you keep the transcript if she goes a bit kookooo..

RA

a reply to: slider1982

With respect, if you have not learned in your years on this earth, how to understand the difference between a woman who is prepared to converse, and a woman who is happy to be left to drink her pint, or eat her food in peace when you are out and about in life, then perhaps the issue is not with the ladies, but with you?

originally posted by: TrueBrit
a reply to: slider1982

With respect, if you have not learned in your years on this earth, how to understand the difference between a woman who is prepared to converse, and a woman who is happy to be left to drink her pint, or eat her food in peace when you are out and about in life, then perhaps the issue is not with the ladies, but with you?

How the hell can you, they come in so many different levels of Crazy it is a minefield, you have far better Kung fu than me sir, I tip my hat....


RA

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

i met my wife on a dating page back 7 years ago. theyre are lots of crazies but theyre might also be the right person for you what have you got to lose. nothing. so go for it.

nothing ventured nothing gained. i gained a wife. you might find you singificant other as well

originally posted by: Indigent
Have you tried one of those Russian/Asian bride websites?

MWAHaHaHahahaaaa... when I was 40 or so I was also into
self destructive behavior, if not mutilation. Found somebody
local and saved a round trip jet fare from and back to blah-blah:
for my personal demon/liar/whatever she really was IDK.
By the way, and from the rhetoric-- I got to stay in the Hell she
created. It was actually fuel efficient (and in other ways) to the max.
The big scar on my chest (where the pump was torn out from)
warned away everybody else since. Problem permanently remedied TOO!

a reply to: slider1982

It's not that my Kung Fu is better.

It is simply that I respect people's space. I only enter a persons psychological space if they appear to wish to have that space occupied. If they do not appear so, or I am too wasted or tired to know the difference, I am not at all likely to try.

Case in point. Saturday night was a great night. I was invited to a barbecue thing and a mass consumption of homebrew ales at a friends place. His stuff is top notch, but he's a former chef so he knows his nose and tongue magic. Anyway, I was asked to create fire, so that merry makers could be enlivened by its dance and warmed by its heat. Having done so, I stood back from the fire, and went to get more wood. When I returned to the fireside, a friend of mine, who is a single lady, had taken up a position almost IN the fire, and was tending it, poking errant embers back into the main body of the firebase. Flames were literally licking at her legs, and she paid it no heed, and took no damage. Lost some hair I would have thought, but nothing else besides.

Standing there with her poking stick, lit by fire, this woman I have known for some time, and thought of simply as a very good friend, suddenly revealed herself to be quite attractive in my sight. Now, if I was a beef headed moron, I would be thinking to myself at that point that given JUST THIS NIGHT, and given JUST THESE EXACT CIRCUMSTANCES, I should go over there and tell her that she looks hot in a non thermodynamic sense, just to make sure she understands that I do not think she is standing too close to the flames.

However, because I know her life, I know that actually, what she needed in that moment, was to be left to do something elemental and natural, and just enjoy that wonderful time, doing that simple thing that bought such a smile and peace to her face.

Now, that was easy, because I know her. I know her recent history, I know that the last thing she needed the other night, was to be told that her fire tending antics had lit her up like a bomb factory on a drones targeting display.

But all it takes to be able to work this stuff out in the real world, is to imagine others more complexly. We often like to imagine others as having less complicated lives than we have, because if we consider the enormity of the horror of human existence beyond our own lives for too long, many of us crumble under the weight of it, which is understandable. However, the problems experienced by human beings are often a direct result of a refusal to engage with complexity, insist on simplicity, even though that insistence results in more complexity not more simplicity.

Put simply, imagine that a person has had a day as hard, or harder than yours. Now imagine that the days of their lives may all have been envenerating, debilitating. Now ask yourself, does this person, with a complicated and difficult life, want to spend their down time in conversation with a stranger, or are they seeking the solace of the friends they either are in conversation with, or waiting for? Do they value their free time, such that to interrupt, to break in upon it with your needs, with your desire for companionship, would be seen as an affront, an assumptive and thoughtless invasion?

If they do, it might be a better idea to make no move, just at this moment. If however they do not appear weighted down, then a casual smile when your eyes meet, or a non-pick up line when at the bar at the same moment, might actually be welcome. You never know your luck. But in all things be mindful of feelings, your own, but most especially the feelings of those whose time you would seek to occupy. Be mindful, patient, and generous of spirit. If you do these things, then you can find ways to present yourself to people, without being obtrusive and obstructive to the business they are about. This makes it extremely difficult for anyone to take offence at your comportment.

a reply to: TrueBrit

TB, stay on topic bro. We need to make me into a macho, macho man!

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

No we do not.

If you need a woman in your life, I would suggest that you need one who likes you for you, not for the stereotype you may or may not fulfil.

originally posted by: AmericanRealist
Well, i met a few wonderful flings in the book store in my early twentys. It was really clever actually. If your vision is good enough, you can see the author of the book a nice lady is studying, then pick up another if they have one and just start a bull# dialogue from there. Especially if they have other titles listed in the book you grab.

I went into this book store some years ago, looking through the titles looking

for a book where the authors name was printed in big.

Found it!!! ... and a chair!!! and tried to looked interested and interesting

And then YOU came up to me

I love bookstores, so many interesting people ready to strike up conversation.

He he he he he

Common sense dictates that the more places you look, the more exposure you have (no flashing! ) then the better your chances.

I say go for it. Just don't make it your only option. Get out there and meet new people as well, there's plenty of interest groups around. If someone doesn't go for your online profile, if it doesn't "speak to them" then they aren't the one. Portraying yourself honestly is the best way to find someone fitting. There are of course things you can do to improve your chances, such as having a clear photo and smiling.

Oh yeah, and don't reek of desperation or listen to toxic fools. Just be yourself, be happy, live life and you will find someone in no time.

my best friend used a dating site ( idk which one I can ask though) and she is currently in a relationship with someone she met there.
She would call me every single day to complain about the amount of messages and how greasy the people were trying to contact her. ( I felt bad and teased her for it, but she always talked herself into sticking with it.)

On her profile she put a basic pic, nothing fancy, just jeans and a t-shirt kinda pic. she straight up listed
she is a single mother
she works 2 jobs
do not contact her for a hook up ( she will block you)
no pedos, murderers, rapists, or abusers ( in that order)
looking for a relationship something that will last
she is NOT into video games
she is NOT into drinking
etc etc

I honestly didn't think it was going to work for her


it was very straightforward, very " I'm done messing around with bozos"

we would sit on the phone for a couple hours each night and she would go through her messages and we would discuss each one and usually laugh.

she has been in a relationship with a guy for over a month now and things are moving along, slowly but moving. ( I have been out of the dating game for so long I'm honestly out of the loop on how it all is supposed to work now)

she was stood up a few times, and I had to talk her into accepting a date from a couple ( one of which is the current guy)

it takes time and you need to define exactly what you are looking for ( or not looking for)

if what you have been doing isn't working change your tactic, you may even have to lower your standards a little bit, be more accepting of little things that in the long run don't actually matter.

ETA: Oh and maybe expand your area. move further away from home.

I just think it's brutal. I certainly had little interest in finding someone but wasn't against it if the situation presented itself. Turns out a week of being on one of these sites I fell for someone. I had plenty of success matching with people but I seemed to only care for this one. It's ended(ish) now. And not well. We never got to meet as they were just leaving the country as we met. Still not here.

Moral or the story? Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

And I say wing it, keep it casual. It's hard to gauge because you don't know how fast/slow the other person wants to go. I love it when I'm asked "what u after" but, I respect it in a way. Hahaha.

originally posted by: Squirlli

Call me cynical but ....

On her profile she put a basic pic, nothing fancy, just jeans and a t-shirt kinda pic. she straight up listed

Good move, could limit her choices though - there's nothing wrong in *setting her

stall out*?

she is a single mother

Sadly often targeted by someone with dishonourable intentions

she works 2 jobs

A good hook up for someone with poor work ethics of their own

do not contact her for a hook up ( she will block you)

Be sure to

no pedos, murderers, rapists, or abusers ( in that order)

As if they would admit it if they were!!?

looking for a relationship something that will last

Good Luck with that!

she is NOT into video games

*Boys Toys* ... she is looking for someone mature

she is NOT into drinking etc etc

May as well put all her cards on the table ... so they know where they stand.


Cynicism can keep one out of trouble

Not sure what else to say other than, be yourself, be confident about who you are, and find a partner who has the same interests and hobbies as yourself. Go on a few dates, see if you get that special "click". If the feeling is mutual, BAM, new relationship that might get more serious!

Its trial and error, and remember, ever error is a learning experience in one way or another. Best wishes!

-Alee

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha
My brother and sister in law met on the Yahoo dating thing.

originally posted by: NerdGoddess
Go on a few dates

If I could even get that far, I wouldn't be desparate for help