the secrets to keeping a human happy

first your stare at them like you have no clue and then see if they say your something to look at...this I learned from a Siamese Cat...then you act like you don't speak very well...why cuz a cat can hardly speak human out loud!
then the secret conversation ends with out a bunch of windbag words....
she actually said ..."you think for one moment you are going to capture my beauty?"
"I'm not a dirty journalist..." The Cat was without trust of all human kind ...except maybe some kids in school that also work...
"Darling I work in the kicthen' ...who says this no buddy knows except for the cutest most pretty earthling... and I won't say her nam,e...
"pretty black kitty got the message..."
My darling son will be on a date soon enough....
he said... "leave me alone ma!"
"you out of your mind ...!? You date who I say you date!?"
"he took off running to see his new friends.." a game called run as fast as you can from nanny MA!
darling kids hate a chaperone nanny ma hate hate hate!
'be gggg accgjhgjhgk .....good...? Nanny ma was killed by her son!...he is a bit knarly and didn't like the institution very well.....
Chaparone nanny ma will get even.... and so will her darling son....the other one is quite stupid.
hope you like a bit of kitty nonsense... inspired by true stories,,,,,thanks for reading be kind to cats or the fire cracker boss will get all of you...just kidding ...if a cat is ever hurt in my territory I will do something about it...or not... depending on how many cats I have left...mow.

a reply to: peppycat

I wish that my animals could read this.

They have no desire for me to be happy. It is their world and I am just allowed to live in it.

For now, it pleases them.

I think there should be a peppycat story contest. Can anyone come close to Peppy's creativity?

I can't imagine it.

a reply to: Profusion i always feel insulted when you complement me...
why is that, i wonder?
thanks i guees it is a launguage barroer....mow...my cat loves you...not me...hover the internete truelly loves me speaking about what a nice stranger i met on Agood to see you post and reply...seee ya!TS
on the internet...he is sorta mentally ill too though...mow...mow...

more secrets, marking ones territory...non gender specific urination...proper places to take a k leak or piss, depending on clarity of fluids drank...?
not too close to anything other than leaves and or solid dirt, ground... near a tree or plant material....cats cover there liquids and matter, dogs need constant tending to as other land animals...
pleasing a human at catnip festival, circles upon circles of varities of medicinal catnip...how? so easy....butter is good, cream okay water ressential plusecatsocaen sea food...

Cats that fish..pleasese many... m o w!