Barstar Lumberjerk An Almost True Story

originally posted by: awareness10
How does one swoon?

By getting too close to Lumberjerk.

When he hits High C his voice can cause all females within a 100 foot radius to instantly ovulate. And some men too.

a reply to: TerryDon79

ah thus is the English language. Many words mean many things.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

hm one mistake in that, he cannot cause 'all' women to ovulate. You see, if this were true, i would have ovulated hundreds of times but alas i have not.

If it were so i would have said so. No one makes me ovulate without my express permission.

a reply to: awareness10

Unless that was he wants you to think?

Maybe you do ovulate, but in an infinitesimal way?

He's a sneaky bugger is old Barstar.

a reply to: TerryDon79

lol...

No way in hell... chuckle..

If i want to Ovulate i'll make an entire thread about it ok

originally posted by: awareness10
hm one mistake in that, he cannot cause 'all' women to ovulate. You see, if this were true, i would have ovulated hundreds of times but alas i have not.

No, you are mistaken.

An Ode to Your Ova:

My voice can make them scramble with glee
Souffléd, poached or over easy

I'm Barstar the superstar can't you see?
Do you feel that quiver in your ovary?

I call to them over the thicket
Now get in line Goupie, use the take-a-ticket

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

LOL ...

My Ova is happy.

No voice, scrambled, souffle'd nor poached, can make me do the will of that which i favor not.

Satan himself could threaten my Ova, alas ... it would only cause his early demise.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Planning on doing my own stunts too !

Don't need no pretend would be's !

* winks at Chirp ... 😎

originally posted by: Timely
Planning on doing my own stunts too !

Don't need no pretend would be's !

* winks at Chirp ... 😎

Don't you know it. Barstar would never stoop so low as to use a stuntman, that would be dishonest.

originally posted by: awareness10
Satan himself could threaten my Ova, alas ... it would only cause his early demise.

Barstar Lumberjerk could read a poem to Satan and make him a docile angel:

Hey Satan you big meanie
I called you a weenie

Stop doing bad things
And pulling on our strings

I'm Barstar Lumberjerk
The master for who you really work

Now go get me vodka
Cause I think I'm sober again

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

lol i like that you added big weenie into it, awesome!

Anyways, would you prefer rum and?

originally posted by: awareness10
lol i like that you added big weenie into it, awesome!

I didn't add anything. This is all Barstar, a legend in his own mind.

Hey! I like this thread!

Who is this Barstar Lumberjerk? Tell me i must know!


A member heh?...... Starts trying to figure out what mix of members she fusioned into this chimaera of magnificence.

Reminds me of this music video.

m.youtube.com...

In the last timeline I was in...

It was "he put a spell on me." But I have my period and it was really late.

So there's that. TAKE THAT ATS TAKE THAT. IM BLEEDING.

OK so I totally believe in the mandela effect and in the other timeline, Barstar Lumberjerk was just a regular guy. He was actually a nice guy, but pretty ordinary. I met him in that other timeline... he seemed pretty harmless actually outside of a mild jealousy that would sometimes take over. Everyone's subject to that though, aren't they.

a reply to: TNMockingbird

Had to star and flag this thread. That was a great and funny OP, also kudos to members for the on going conversation.

originally posted by: BASSPLYR

A member heh?...... Starts trying to figure out what mix of members she fusioned into this chimaera of magnificence.

What member on here would make up so much stuff about themselves? Tree trimmer, singer, film guy, poet, mixologist extraordinaire, overall sooper dooper ladies man?

This is so ridiculous that you could not possibly attribute it to a real person. No one could possibly be that banal and tedious.

originally posted by: geezlouise
OK so I totally believe in the mandela effect and in the other timeline, Barstar Lumberjerk was just a regular guy. He was actually a nice guy, but pretty ordinary. I met him in that other timeline... he seemed pretty harmless actually outside of a mild jealousy that would sometimes take over. Everyone's subject to that though, aren't they.

I like how you worked the Mandela Effect into the narrative. In this timeline he is a completely different personality. One some loathsome and despicable you cannot help but find amusement in his predictable and disturbing behavior.

Did he write you a poem yet?

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Lol, well it wouldn't be me that's for sure.
I regularly post while intoxicated and wouldn't be able to remember a load of lies.
Why the # would I lie about being some average earning, lazy self-employed manual working bloke who lives in a cheap house and drives a crap white van?! lol

Ah...I can still live vicariously in the stories of Barstar Lumberjerk...my inspirational hero.

There once was a man we called Barstar,
Who sang his way through ev'ry bar.
The women did swoon,
A little too soon
And now he's referred to as Father.

originally posted by: grainofsand
Why the # would I lie about being some average earning, lazy self-employed manual working bloke who lives in a cheap house and drives a crap white van?! lol

You should embellish a little, a la Barstar. Maybe you can be a lazy, manipulative womanizer who....oh, wait, we have that covered already.

Ah...I can still live vicariously in the stories of Barstar Lumberjerk...my inspirational hero.

I sense a poem coming on about you.