Barstar Lumberjerk An Almost True Story

originally posted by: grainofsand
Lol, sounds amazing!

Brother, you don't know the half of it........


But you will.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Lol twat x

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

The last poem/song that he had written for me was rather whimsical and here's just a snippet.
Perhaps he won't mind. I'm paraphrasing, of course.

"When I look at you water drips from my eye
but, hey, I'm just that kind of guy.
We'll skip along holding hands
because who doesn't like to skip?"

a reply to: TNMockingbird

Nice...it would be blood I was speaking about though...

originally posted by: TNMockingbird
"When I look at you water drips from my eye
but, hey, I'm just that kind of guy.
We'll skip along holding hands
because who doesn't like to skip?"

Genius. Pure, unadulterated genius.

Remember the photos he showed us of his mansion? I really liked the Monet he had hanging over the door to the mudroom. What an amazing painting.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Lol you pair of twats

originally posted by: TNMockingbird
The last poem/song that he had written for me was rather whimsical and here's just a snippet.
Perhaps he won't mind. I'm paraphrasing, of course.

I just remembered another one he wrote:

I sing karaoke
But to me it's not jokey

Mic in hand
I know the plan

Read the words
To the rest of the nerds

Rockin' it hard
I let down my guard

My day job forgotten
My wife is verboten

I sing and sing
Cause I like singing

Can you just feel the talent oozing out of the lyrics?

a reply to: TNMockingbird
He's a lumberjack and that's okay. He sleeps all night and works all day.-
Monty Python

originally posted by: Skid Mark
He's a lumberjack and that's okay. He sleeps all night and works all day.-
Monty Python

Those guys are a bunch of pantywaists compared to Barstar the singing tree trimmer.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus
You're so vain. You probably think this song is about you.-
Carly Simon

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: Skid Mark
He's a lumberjack and that's okay. He sleeps all night and works all day.-
Monty Python

Those guys are a bunch of pantywaists compared to Barstar the singing tree trimmer.

I wish I was at one with the trees.

a reply to: Skid Mark



Carly Simon is a neophyte compared to Barstar Lumberjerk.

He wrote this one in his sleep. He called it Hey New Friend! Let's Walk the Nature Trail Together:

I want to meet you

I want to beat you

I want to eat you

I want to meet you

Will you meet me, in Tennessee?

I like meeting new people

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus
That sounds like something from Al Packer.

originally posted by: Skid Mark
That sounds like something from Al Packer.

Fantastic wealth and opulence make you do odd things, like ask perfect strangers to meet you in secluded spots. Sadly, Barstar Lumberjerk is no exception. But he is still my hero.

a reply to: Skid Mark

That sounds like something from Al Packer.

His too was a rags to riches story.
Although he wound up in prison, for manslaughter, so it's different.

Barstar would never, intentionally, hurt another human.
He certainly wouldn't eat anyone!

Would he?

originally posted by: TNMockingbird
He certainly wouldn't eat anyone!

He metaphorically eats the competition when it comes to his amazing talent.

His prolific output of poetry is so astounding that Maya Angelou wishes she were him since he forgets more in one day than she knows.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
He wrote a very deep one that he shared with me:

I was a Tree Guy from the Midwest
Then I headed to Cali and started a mess

I cut trees down and told some Lies
Just to fool some internet guys

Chicks flying in from every which place
Cause they saw the profile on Myspace

Marathons and sprints I run everyday
But from my bull I can't get away

I'm famous and rich but only in my head
My real life is so banal, it causes me dread

My wife and kid I leave them at home
But I've been caught, my cover is blown

He said this one was about his alter ego. Very touching.

This one is friggen brilliant.

LEMME GUESS.

IS BARSTAR LUMBERJERK AN ATS MEMBER?

I think I know who it is, oh em gee.

a reply to: TNMockingbird
Let's hope not.

a reply to: geezlouise

Barstar Lumberjerk is a star of the highest magnitude and would not be bothered dicking around on such a pedestrian site such as this. But if you ask nice maybe Bird can get him to write you a poem.

originally posted by: Skid Mark
Let's hope not.

Well, if he does, I vote for you.