Lying: Where do you draw the line?

I don't think I've known anyone who doesn't tell white lies. The last white lie I remember telling went like this...

I saw one of my colleagues in a shopping center. She had just got her hair cut, and she asked me for my opinion of her hair. I think she's not attractive, and her hair could never help. But, I told her she looked great.

Is there anyone in the world who would do otherwise?

There are two verses in the Bible that refer to everyone being a liar.

Psalm 116:11
in my alarm I said, "Everyone is a liar."

Romans 3:4
Not at all! Let God be true, and every human being a liar. As it is written: "So that you may be proved right when you speak and prevail when you judge."

Where do you draw the line when it comes to lying? Personally, I draw the line at white lies.

I can understand how people could justify going further than that. For instance, police officers have been known to lie to get confessions.

It is an urban myth that police officers can never lie. There is no law or rule against police officers saying that certain evidence exists or that a co-defendant has confessed, even if is this is not true. Police are generally prohibited from making threats (“If you do not confess, we will make certain that you never see your children again”) and promises (“If you confess now, we will charge a less serious crime”), although the lines between impermissible threats and promises and allowed police tactics are far from clear. Again, the best way to protect yourself from police tactics it with the assistance of an attorney. Your attorney can investigate the case and find out what evidence, if any, police have against you.

LINK

I see the issue of police officers lying to get confessions as sometimes being justifiable. What do you think?

I think our collective governments lying about ET to be the right decision.

For a myriad of reasons.

Also some other national security issues.

Not all of them mind you.
It's a hard position to be in.

a reply to: Profusion

I don't lie about even things like that.
My ex asks me what her hair looks like just about every other week, because she knows the truth after that.
So her new boyfriend likes blonde hair (used to work with him)..

she dyed her hair blonde and asked me about it because she thought it looked bad.

actually hold up, Let me find my response.

yea im not sure blond curls match you but maybe if it wasnt wet and dense?
I don't like it.

I prefer to bend the truth and be a bit ambiguous

I don't know if I have a "line".

I try not to lie, but sometimes it's necessary. But the decision is almost always a spur of the moment thing based on the current situation.

Like:
No, I have no weapons or contraband in my vehicle. "

Best to remain quite than let a lie escape from your mouth, be it white or black.

a reply to: Profusion

Everyone lies on some scale. I mean it, honestly. When someone asks how we are and we are not so good but we don't want to talk about it, we say "Good." Lies are a defense mechanism and to some extent they are understandable. The cheater lies to cover tracks because they actually care about what their partner feels and don't want to hurt them. The politician lies to win votes. Parents lie to their kids to get them to do what they need them to do. We even lie to ourselves sometimes and that's okay. We are human and it happens...but if you lie to someone and it hurts them, you must deal with the consequences. We all know we are being lied to, at times and still would rather hear that over the truth. The difference is we don't want to be able to confirm we are being lied to.

a reply to: Profusion

I think being a decent human is more important than brutal honesty. If you were to tell your colleague that she looked like garbage, you may feel righteous in some made-up honesty contest, but you would have to be a pretty crappy human to do that. However, if you tell her she looks great, that makes you a decent human (in that instance) at nobody's expense.

To me, altering my opinion isn't "lying". I'm telling the truth even if I have to condition myself to change that truth. If you're ever torn about it, just preface your "white lie" with "I think..." or "To me..." or "It looks...", etc.

a reply to: Profusion

You don't have to be lying with that though.

OK, so you don't think she's the most attractive woman in the world. Fine, but there are things even the least attractive people can do or wear that make them more or less attractive, relatively speaking. And when you are being asked that question, it isn't coming from the perspective necessarily of, "Hey, babe, do you think I'm sexy!" but sometimes, it's just "Does this look nice on me" and you ought to be able to maintain a perspective where you can more or less answer that honestly for just about anyone.

So, no, she won't ever light your fire, but this or that haircut might look decent on her.

It is okay to lie to the Infidel.

One must not lie to the followers of Islam, insha'allah.

Allahuakbahr

a reply to: SomeDumbBroad

When someone asks how we are and we are not so good but we don't want to talk about it, we say "Good."

If they are using "how are you" just to say hello and don't want to hear our problems, best to answer still walking, still breathing, and just smile back.

There is no reason to lie. A colleague at work once brought in her lovely 12yo niece that only had months to live from incurable brain cancer. Her niece asked me why they can't they cure brain cancer. It would have been very easy to lie but she deserved the truth. So I told her the world runs on greed, if they can make more money curing the millions from a common cold instead of saving the few from cancer, they will put more research dollars into the common cold. She looked into space for what seemed a minute, nodded to herself, then thanked me for telling her the truth. The sweet girl died a few months latter but her soul lives on, not blackened by a lie, that could have easily passed my lips.

originally posted by: SomeDumbBroad
a reply to: Profusion

Everyone lies on some scale. I mean it, honestly. When someone asks how we are and we are not so good but we don't want to talk about it, we say "Good."

who's we...

I'm more like "pretty bad man, so I woke up two days ago and my hand was paralyzed, oh and I lost my other job but besides that im cool haha." and then I started laughing.

that was two weeks ago I can mostly move my hand now




I'm too old to care about trying to lie, I just go for it. Life seems like a big joke to me anyway.

I don't let myself feel bad. Lying would cause a weird discourse in me since my entire life has been in search of and in defense of the truth.

I don't think my ex mentioned above comes on here anymore, but she would be cracking up right now. I'm pretty blunt, but luckily most people are good around me so I don't have to dig into them.. but like the other day I laid into this guy for yelling at me, he was falling off a ladder but I was way away and hands full and one hand not working so I couldn't get back to him anyway..

he later said to me "thats why I love you man you just tell people whats up you never go behind anyone's back."


I wish people were more blunt towards me though.

a reply to: glend

There is no reason to lie, you are right... however a majority of people (at least in my friend's circle) were raised with the attitude of "You could always have it worse" and therefore we were never allowed to complain about it. Old habits can de hard. A majority of people who ask "Hey how are you" genuinely do not mean it, they are just trying to be polite. That's the world we live in. Sad, but true.

a reply to: Reverbs

My cynical attitude comes from dealing with a majority of people all day long. YAY Sales jobs.

originally posted by: SomeDumbBroad
a reply to: Reverbs

My cynical attitude comes from dealing with a majority of people all day long. YAY Sales jobs.

I'm a cook.

I think in large part my shift out of retail has restored my faith in humanity.

that actually makes a lot of sense thanks for reminding me

originally posted by: Reverbs
a reply to: Profusion

I don't lie about even things like that.
My ex asks me what her hair looks like just about every other week, because she knows the truth after that.
So her new boyfriend likes blonde hair (used to work with him)..

she dyed her hair blonde and asked me about it because she thought it looked bad.

actually hold up, Let me find my response.

yea im not sure blond curls match you but maybe if it wasnt wet and dense?
I don't like it.

My EX asked me if I thought She was a Bitch.
I said no I think you are the Ultimate Bitch.
LOL

a reply to: glendIf they are using "how are you" just to say hello and don't want to hear our problems, best to answer still walking, still breathing, and just smile back.

My Best Reply to that Question is
So Far So Good.
And that ain't A LIE

if ya never lie ever for anything....it's way funner

a reply to: Profusion

I think there is no such thing as 'truth'. There are only varying levels of deception.

originally posted by: Abysha
I think being a decent human is more important than brutal honesty.

You don't have to be brutal to be honest. That is were constructive criticism comes in. You don't tell someone they look like garbage, you tell them why that haircut, shirt or whatever doesn't fit them and maybe offer some alternatives.