Horrible Advice

It's been bad both personally and in the world abroad. I figured I would lighten things up a bit by offering horrible advice. If you can think of horrible advice of your own, feel free to share.

If life gets you down look at gruesome car crash pics. It will make you appreciate life more.

If you're tired of the bags under your eyes put jalapeño peppers under them. It will get rid of the "puffiness".

Water is excellent for putting out grease fires.

Drinking heavily solves all problems.

Guys, does an idea for a first date have you stumped? Take her to a strip club.

Adding water to gasoline makes your gas last longer.

Leave your headlights on all night to keep them from frosting up on cold nights.

a reply to: Skid Mark

*DISCLAIMER: All of the following is the WORST advice I can think of*

If a snake is coiled up and making a rattling noise, always pick it up and examine it closely to determine whether or not it is venomous.

When it rains in the winter and the temp falls below freezing, always drive above the posted speed limit even or especially when the roads just look wet.

Wasps and bees love being petted with your bare hands.

a reply to: Skid Mark

Hmmm. Advice?

Get married. It's a super idea. It will be great. What could go wrong?

Also, extract burnt toast from the toaster with a fork. The toast will certainly come out easily and maintain its structural integrity.

a reply to: Skid Mark

Go ahead and tug on supermans cape..

Do spit into the wind...

And please please go on and mess around with Jim!


seriously tho bro,
Life is a wheel it has it's UPS and downs,,,
Just try to enjoy the time on top, and be thankful for that when you are on bottem..

Hugs

Respectfully,
~ meathead

originally posted by: Skid Mark
Drinking heavily solves all problems.

I thought you were giving horrible advice?

If you feel down and want to be cheered up, go read on ATS and see how well political threads are respectfully discussing opposing views.

a reply to: Skid Mark

Lol nice thread. A girl wanted me to take her to a strip club once on a first date. We went. She ended up leaving with a girl stripper. I paid a big bill and left alone. Lol

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead.” -Bill McGlashen

having trouble with your electronics? Lick the plug and try again

Compliment your wife on how soft a cushion she has made for herself to sit on

Swat flies with a hammer so they know you mean business

You need to put your eye right up to the scope so you can see better when you pull the trigger

originally posted by: Quantum12
a reply to: Skid Mark

Lol nice thread. A girl wanted me to take her to a strip club once on a first date. We went. She ended up leaving with a girl striper l. I paid a big bill and left alone. Lol

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead.” -Bill McGlashen

You probably came out ahead anyway. So no worries.

It Would Be My Pleasure.... *ahem*

Don't Just Say It.... Do It!

a reply to: Skid Mark

You don't have to wash your hands after chopping up fresh jalapenos.
The jalapeno juices won't bother your behind when you use the bathroom.
Go ahead and blow your nose after chopping fresh jalapenos it will clear up
your sinuses.

a reply to: ketsuko
Those were great! That last one made me laugh. Thank you.

a reply to: InTheFlesh1980
Would you suggest using a metal or plastic fork?

a reply to: Mike Stivic
You just referenced one of my favorite songs. Thank you. Also, that was good advice.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus
It was supposed to be. Okay, cops like it when you're chugging one at a traffic stop so they don't have to ask if you've been drinking.

a reply to: Quantum12
That's a horrible date. I couldn't imagine that.

a reply to: Dumbass
I try to leave those alone. It's a mad house in those sometimes.

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan
Those were truly horrible lol. That last one reminds me of something I heard about a guy breaking his eye socket while firing a .50 rifle.

a reply to: mamabeth
I just got an image in my head of a guy rubbing his butt across the carpet like a dog lol.

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but it's always worked for me........HST

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

Lol, I agree 100%. She called me two days later and thanked me for taking her there. She was afraid to go alone. I just said oh I am a match maker. Lol

a reply to: olaru12
It's even better when you use them in front of law enforcement. They don't have to search you then.

a reply to: Quantum12
That's one way to put a positive spin on it.

The last one was the honestly what I remember thinking the first time I ever got stung. I was about 3 at the time.

a reply to: Skid Mark

Vote for Hillary

Run with scissors

breathilyzers don't measure rum, so go ahead and drink that while driving

Eat egg yolks and beans before going on a first date, and when she gives you the green light, first go and chop up several Habanero peppers. That will make for some good hot luvin

a reply to: visitedbythem

I am still setting you up with Edie's sister. lol this will make for a great first date.'