Does having a child make a person more mature?

In my opinion, having a child should make a person more mature. All other things being equal, an individual who has had a child should be acutely aware of the fact that they are responsible for another person's life. How could that not help to make an average person more mature?

I realize lots of people never seem to grow up, regardless of the situation. I consider them to be outliers in this instance. I believe an ordinary person would have to be heartless not to rise to the occasion and be responsible for their offspring.

My conclusion is if you have two people of equal age, and one of them has had a child, and the other hasn't, the person who has had a child should be assumed to be more mature.

originally posted by: Profusion
In my opinion, having a child should make a person more mature. All other things being equal, an individual who has had a child should be acutely aware of the fact that they are responsible for another person's life. How could that not help to make an average person more mature?

I realize lots of people never seem to grow up, regardless of the situation. I consider them to be outliers in this instance. I believe an ordinary person would have to be heartless not to rise to the occasion and be responsible for their offspring.

My conclusion is if you have two people of equal age, and one of them has had a child, and the other hasn't, the person who has had a child should be assumed to be more mature.

One would hope. I would agree with you on the percentage. I think 90% of parents do mature when becoming one.

My wife and I had our first child when I was 28 and and our last when I was 33. I find that I continued to mature as I became better at parenting through those years.

I think self reflection and not being afraid to be wrong and humble helps along the way.

Some people don't develop that capacity though.

a reply to: Profusion

Those without children never almost never really understand (I'm struggling to find a word here so I'll just say) life.

Those without children who are in contact with their own parents often remain children in their behaviour and attitudes.

Of course there are many exceptions.

a reply to: Profusion

My conclusion is if you have two people of equal age, and one of them has had a child, and the other hasn't, the person who has had a child should be assumed to be more mature.

In my opinion, joining the military and going to war in a foreign country makes a person even more mature. Therefore, if you have 2 people of equal age, one who has a child and one who has gone to war, the person who has gone to war is more mature.

a reply to: windword

Though with what is known about the 'justification' and undoubted effects of recent warfare not obeying 'sir' is actually the sign of maturity.

a reply to: Kester

Though with what is known about the 'justification' and undoubted effects of recent warfare not obeying 'sir' is actually the sign of maturity.

It sure would have been the more mature thing to do for the majority of the Nazi military that was "just following orders."

I grew up in the '50's & '60's, and most of the parents I knew, in retrospect, blindly turned their children over to the government. God and country came before family.

On a side note,my Christian mother used to boast to me how we lived in the best country, USA! The most blessed by God because of the A Bomb.

Not just no...but HELL NO!!

I would say it certainly applies pressure having a child, but many can blame the child for all of their childish attitudes so no deffinate there. You can have the body of a fifty year old and yet your mind is still stuck in your teens. Maturity is about seeing roles as roles only. Another thing is that a parent can have an ego expansion of enormous proportions, because of the power that is given to him or her for being able to reproduce. On the other hand I would say it does give us the possibiltiy to suffer, something that we normaly wouldnt be able to suffer.a reply to: Profusion

Maturity comes from experience, not from having a child, look at teenage pregnancy rates and tell me how a teenager can be mature. And some of the replies on this thread are absolutely ludicrous

I think maturity is a very abstract concept, and is highly individualized. In my opinion wisdom would be a better word.

a reply to: Zcustosmorum

And some of the replies on this thread are absolutely ludicrous

In my opinion the premise in the OP is ludicrous and blithely trite.

Who does society consider most respectable and look to for maturity more, a 30 year old woman with 2 kids or a 30 year old celibate priest? A 30 year old woman with 2 kids a 30 year old decorated veteran?

God, Country, Family. That's the American way! What other paths of social maturity do you see that society has historically mirrored and established?

popping out a sprog or having a 30 second romp behind the bike shed with some woman hardly makes you a parent other than in title, its what you do will mark you as a good parent or not.

I personally don't want kids and being in my mid 40's i'm happy with that fact, the mrs has serious risks with genetics so we have decided not to bother and are happy in that fact, she helped her mum bring up two younger siblings including one with major problems so in someways you could say she's done her mothering other than actually popping them out.

a reply to: Zcustosmorum
I agree, i`ve seen a lot of parents who act very childish basically it`s just adult kids trying to raise small kids.

I mean it definitely depends on what one does after having said child. It is one thing to have a child. It is another to have a child and then forever on after that point take on that child as a first priority, responsibility, and do all that is required to provided well for and educate that child.
Doing those things certainly takes some maturity.

That being said, maturity in it of itself certainly is an abstract concept in some ways. A teenager in high school will almost always be obscenely immature compared to an adult who has served or has simply held down a steady life and grown a career for decades. That is not what I mean here.
I mean both parties can be just as likely to have an 'immature' sense of humor or like to do wild things like ride a tiny dirt bike into a pond of a ramp or something for example. How many 'mature' people shot off crazy ass fireworks last week? Many others would consider that immature. Not me lol. We have all got our things.

My ex acts as those she has no kids. She has three and just left them. I have my daughter. So no, just having children does not make one more mature. Some people never grow up.

I was a hell raising, hedonistic, selfish little punk all of my life until I got married and became a father at age 39.
Now, I still am all of that that I alway was but I'm now more aware of my actions and how my daughter will learn from them.

I guess that's maturity.

But, I didn't "change". It's more like I have a new job now and that the "boss" can never see who I "really" am.

a reply to: Profusion

Not in my case. I was 19 when my future ex wife had our first child. Sure, I stayed in college, found a job and provided for my family. But in my brain I still felt like I was 16, not even 19. I was not prepared for the married life. My marriage was absolutely horrible. And with the inability to grow as a person because of being scared to leave or just pretty much feeling like I failed in something that my family relatives rarely, to my knowledge ever do.

I finally got a divorce after a total of 19 years together, 14 were married.

But, I think it depends on the person. My wife, whom I've been with for 7 years now, 6 married, was 19 years old when I met her, I was 38. She was far beyond smart and mature for her age. That's what attracted me most to her. When we would talk about forensics, she knew exactly what I was talking about and I understood her. I saw no BS with her. We have 2 daughters and I finally know what it feels like to be loved and to love someone else.

a reply to: Profusion
It does not. I know people with kids and they are sadly far from mature.

No sadly.

A lot of people who should grow up and take responsibility never will. We resisted having ours for a long time because we both knew we had to be sure we were ready to live for the kids before ourselves. Until that day came, it wasn't time. A lot of people never get there before having kids and never go there afterward.

Of course not.

Watch videos posted by mother of the year Lavish Diamond Reynolds hotboxing her toddler full of of marijuana smoke in the car for proof.