How do you tell your loved ones you are dying?

I am a cancer survivor who was told in 2007 that I had 18 months to live. Your thread reminds me of how I felt when I was newly diagnosed.

I knew I had to fight to survive because I had a 15 year old daughter. Now I have gotten to see her graduate high school and college, and her wedding is next month. So glad I never gave up. I wanted to quit, many times, and it was not always easy. Cancer sucks!

Hemp oil 100% never worked for me. But I use cannabis oil, high THC and CBD.

I am here because of chemotherapy. Sure I was told there might be some long term effects, but I wasn't worried about long term. I feel great and don't notice any lingering effects from chemo.

I respect your opinion regarding chemo but please don't just give up! Never told my family except my partner. They still don't know (my daughter eventually figured it out). For me, they would have caused more stress in my life than the cancer. Would have told them if I was terminal.

a reply to: DeathSlayer

This is the kind of sadness that leaves most people speechless. I'm so sorry for what you face. But, at least you do have a chance that many, many people don't have...to say goodbye to your loved ones. They will be eternally grateful to you for the time you will be able to spend with them and the chance to say things left unsaid for so long, both you and they. I know you will plan your time wisely and devote each segment wholeheartedly to each one... most especially your daughter. I don't envy you that. The only thing I have to cling to after my son died were two specific and heartfelt conversations we had that will be forever in my heart and soul.

I pray for peace in your mind and heart. They will guide you through this...just listen to what they tell you and draw on that innaite strength you possess.

My best to you and your family....

a reply to: berenike

I think you might have missed where I said do NOT sit them all down together.

I agree there are people that should be told first and they can help advise on how to tell others. Perhaps doing it on their behalf.

My overall point was to not keep it a secret, for everyone's sake.

I appreciate what you are saying.

a reply to: Leonidas

No - I got the point and agreed with it.

I didn't mean to imply that the others should all be told at the same time. Just that Deathslayer's wife at least ought not be put in the position of being told the news alongside others (however many).

Having said that, if the rest of the family are told separately then everyone would need to be told quickly before anyone found out in the 'wrong' sort of way.

I think we're on the same page.

Yea, I'm back, and add us to the list of people praying for a miracle...

My train is momentarily delayed, but I need to hurry anyway so please insert any and all disclaimers here > (....)

I want to give you a quick and dirty explanation of IPT (Insulin Potentiation Therapy) written in Dick and Jane style, with a touch of ClownFish...

Every living cell in the body needs sugar/glucose. Some more than others. But cancer craves sugar, so much so that it has evolved to have about 10 times the sugar receptors on it's surface than normal cells do. As such, it grabs onto any available sugar with a vengeance. Cancer cells also need a blood supply and will even create their own little blood supply. In general, cancer can tolerate low levels of oxygen but does not tolerate high levels. (That last bit is important for the second technique, later).

So I just listed three important elements. If you didn't count three, go back and read this again.

You can google the history of this, but IPT uses this information to its advantage and the patient is given an injection of insulin in an effort to lower the glucose levels in the body and purposely create a hypoglycemia condition. After a brief time, a bag of glucose is reintroduced, via an IV drip, but it has been laced with a fraction of a normal dose of the most appropriate chemo for the particular type of cancer, usually at a dose of around 10% the normal. In so doing, and not forgetting how greedy the cancer cells are, they will be the first to drink up the chemo laced glucose, so the vast majority of the therapy goes straight into the cancer cells. This puts it where it belongs, so the chemo tends to not get into normal cells as much. This way, it is not doing the major harm to good cells the way the normal application does, AND since it is going through the blood stream it is hitting it where it is circulating in the form of metastasis to get any little bits that the doctors don't even know are there.

We used this technique quite successfully for several years. You might want to look into it.

I will tell you about the other technique, HBO3, when I have another chunk of time and a few conscious brain cells....

Fishy

I don't have anything to add other than I am so sorry to hear of this diagnosis. You know your family better than anyone, and can predict to a degree, what reactions they might have. Go by your instincts.

Godspeed.

Sorry to hear this news, but if they don't know it's imperative you tell them and include them in all your decisions. You are going to need them and their support . I'd have been dead years ago without the help and support of my family. Remember they will be the only ones who will unconditionally love you throughout this experience. They will also want you tell them, because they love you and will want to help you any way they can. Never turn down help and emotional support. There's no glory in going it alone, when people who love you want to be there for you like loved ones do.

When I've been in hospital and see patients with no visitors or family support, I feel really sorry for them and lucky my parents visit everyday with some goodies to cheer me up. I sometimes feel guilty over having too many visitors, but it's a great thing.

Obviously it's your choice, but I think you should based on my own experience.

So good luck with everything and take help wherever it's offered.

a reply to: DeathSlayer

Don't tell them you're dying. All of us are dying...we start the slow process of dying the moment we are born. Tell them you've been diagnosed with cancer and you're going to fight it. And you will. Just look at your user name.

It is a medical fact that people with cancer have a far higher survival rate if they've got a solid support system. I personally believe that both you and your family would be better off if you told them. You're fighting the scariest monster possible, and the emotional stress of keeping such a secret can only harm you further...and rob you and your family of precious moments that they will wish they'd had, should you not be victorious in this battle. But ultimately, it is your call either way.

You have no intention of going gentle into that good night, so don't say you're dying. Saying can lead to doing, even if we don't consciously realize it. This is serious advice.

I will set a light for you, and ask that your journey...no matter where it may take you...is a peaceful one. I wish you the best as you traverse this difficult path. Don't stop fighting, never stop fighting. The battle is not lost until you can no longer draw breath. Blessed Be.

a reply to: DeathSlayer

Very sorry for your bad news.
Please do try eating a lot of unpasteurized raw saurkraut, which is full of probiotics and prebiotics. A friend of mine cured his really pancreitis( which I know is not the same thing as cancer ) and his over the top candida by consuming lots of saurkraut. As well as trying the oil and vit c. I don't want to see you go yet as you have more offer the world.
Have a look at the healing powers of saurkraut it worth it to try everything and all. Love and strength to you.

It occurs to me, and I haven't thought of it until now.

My husband lost his mother to cancer when he was in college.

But his parents didn't tell him about her diagnosis at all. He only found about it after he walked in on her in cardiac arrest in the kitchen. He used his CPR skills to revive her and keep her going until EMTs could get there, and at that point, his parents were sort of forced to tell him that the doctors' prognosis should have had his mother dead a few weeks prior!

Consider that, and understand that is the kind of situation you risk subjecting your loved ones to if you do not tell them now before you get more ill.

Hello. This is part 2 about a new technique called, sort of, HB03. This technique is so new that it doesn't even have an official name yet, as not that many doctors are doing it, but at least a very good link to it is in your neck of the woods.

So, I was saying earlier that cancer does not like oxygen. Also, by the time that "cancer" is diagnosed, we can often expect that a number of other factors have taken place such as some unknown or undiscovered viruses or fungal or bacterial concerns. Not always, but sometimes. Consider that the immune system is somewhat compromised so such nasties are there, ready to be a secondary or tertiary concern, and your body needs all of its best resources right now.

Cancer "hijacks" the body's metabolism, turning into an anaerobic system, rather than an aerobic energy efficient system, as it was before. Any of the oxidative therapies are aimed at reversing this, but HB03 is the best technique that we have seen to date.

Here is how it's done:

The newest technique is "Dr. Lahodny's technique" whereby an IV catheter is inserted into the patient. About 200 cc's of blood are withdrawn into a sterilized vacuum bottle. Once there, it is mixed with ozone produced from medical grade oxygen, under pressure (please, this is against all you've heard about ozone, I get that, but this is not the same ozone you hear about with air pollution). The blood is then put back into the patient via the same IV catheter. Immediately, more blood is removed via the same technique, and treated with this ozone/oxygen under pressure, also known as hyperbaric ozone therapy, and a few other names, again, as it is that new. Dr. Lahodny's technique will do up to 10 of these passes in one outpatient office visit. The number of treatments total would be up to the doctor and the condition being treated.

A variation of this technique, that we did in our own clinic for many years, was to take the withdrawn blood that was in the vacuum bottle and to then introduce ozone into it via a y-connector, and then to pass this blood through a thin crystal tube that was then exposed to UV light. This blood was then reintroduced back into the patient. We would do just one pass, perhaps three times a week, but this would vary.

Here is some of the listed effects:

The immune system is activated
It improves oxygen utilization
It helps create ATP (energy production in general)
It inactivates Viruses, Bacteria, Yeast, Parasites and Protozoa
Normalizes hormone and Enzyme Production
Reduces Inflammation and pain
Oxidizes Toxins, Facilitating their excretion
Cleans arteries and veins, improving circulation
Dissolution of malignant tumors
Scavenger free radicals

Also, at this conference that we are in the process of returning from, the doctors there were of the opinion that Dr. Lahodny's technique stimulates stem cell production but I don't know what their thinking was behind this -- just that they were of one accord in that thinking, and they are in the process of getting blood work done to verify that theory.

It if were us, we would be looking for a combination of Dr. Lahodny's technique, plus IPT, along with a hair analysis to see what unknown toxins may be present or what proportions the minerals may be imbalanced from, as 100% of our cancer patients were suffering from mineral deficiencies but you need to know which ones. And finally some sort of allergy testing as we also discovered that 100% of our cancer patients had hidden allergies, and we are trying to address a full court press to offset the total body burden.

I am writing this from the train platform in California and it will take three days to get back to Texas where we will get some links off of our main computer.

Take care...

a reply to: DeathSlayer your not a coward. It's one of the hardest things life will ever present. You think being diagnosed with cancer is hard. Saying goodbye to the ones you love is just as hard as any medical realities you have to face. It won't be easy and is emotional beyond belief, but you must do what you think is right. It's not fair but, once it's done everyone will feel better and it will get easierthere is nothing wrong with reaching out for help. I have used ats to talk to people which as helped as you can do it in private messages and keep a distance that requires less emotional involvement. If I can help let me know. I've only just gone through what your going through, and am happy to help for what it's worth. I almost feel like it's my duty to help people going through such an awful time in life after the help I've recurved. From fellow members so feel free to pm me if you want to talk about anything. It's a # thing to go through alone. So take all the help you can get. All the best and good luck with it all.

a reply to: [post=20920939]DeathSlayer[/post

You and your family will be in my prayers!

I would write a journal of your life together for your daughter - May god be with you both!

a reply to: DeathSlayer

In my family we are very blunt so I would just spit it out. Why waste precious time? I'd let them know immediately and spend as much time as possible with the people I love, doing things together and making happy memories to sustain them after I am gone.

My heart is breaking.I am praying for you.Check out the threads on ATS about Baking Soda cures cancer.I wish you all the best in the world.#KickCancerInTheBalls

DP

wow..I'm so sorry to hear of your diagnosis DS..
I haven't read all of the replies yet but, I think you should tell them.. my Dad was diagnosed with leukemia on top of a host of other major problems, I'm so glad he told us though, because we were able to help each other through the process and enjoy the time we did have. It won't get any easier..
Whatever you do, we are here for you and support you. Please lean on us whenever you need to. Praying you beat this and come out strong and swinging! perhaps you chose your screen name for this very reason!

a reply to: DeathSlayer

I can't say I've been in a position like that - But I have been given "the talk" before.

The easiest way to tell them is have everyone there, with you, at their convenience - just tell them it's urgent (when my dog was hit by a car, my mom called me and told me to stop what I was doing and come home in the "I'm not joking around voice").

Everyone should be together, because they will need each other. Use the time to guide them, remind them to be strong, and never hold back the tears - You're going through something no-one wishes for; I lost three grandparents to cancer of some sort, and what hurt me the most was watching my Dad not find out until they were almost gone. Tell them and clear the air.

With the time left - get your affairs in order, and try to visit the family as much as you can.

Don't know if it helps any...but one quote that stuck with me a long time is this:

"When it's my time to go, you should never weep for my passing; weep for all the good times we've had, all the hell you were dragged through because of me. Some consider death to be a showstopper, but I don't see it that way. As long as you remember...I still exist. As long as you tell and pass on stories about me, I still exist. As long as a photo remains, I still exist. You see, I'm not gone, just going on another adventure "

-foss

a reply to: DeathSlayer

My affairs have been in order for 5 years now. I was told same thing and I'm still here. As are you. Healing is on its way.
Hang on to every essence in life.

You are loved and love. Cling to that.

Never surrender.

a reply to: woodwardjnr

It was really nice to see you post up.

Please keep us informed...Still Praying for you.