I will never grow a thicker skin, so just stop telling me to.

"Grow a thicker skin" towards things that don't need to effect you.

Yes you can complain about the messed up hamburger because it effects you, directly. You should complain. In fact, you have to have thicker skin in order to complain because if you have thin skin, you'll feel too much like an asshole to do the complaining that needs to be done.

The problem is when people get offended over things that don't effect them or their lives. Grow thicker skin, stop getting upset over things that don't effect you, and live your life.

a reply to: olaru12

I was told by a MOD to grow a thicker skin when I complained about an insulting post.

Interesting. This most be the ATS standard, because I too was given this advice from a MOD, and was chastised for my complaint, rather than the person that made the racist attack.

Interesting.

originally posted by: whyamIhere

originally posted by: TerryMcGuire
a reply to: whyamIhere

t's the Internet...I picture everyone I'm taking to as a 19 year old punk.
In his mom's basement stealing the neighbor's wifi.

Interesting. I fight like hell with myself to NOT approach people like that. I fail often
But why would you even come here in the first place if that is what you expect to find. Punks.
How can you ever have a civil dialogue with someone if that is how you go into each encounter?
I am at a loss.

Easy...

This is the difference. When people are in the same room with me.

I speak to people with respect and expect the same courtesy in return.

When online you can't take anything personal.

Fine. Then once again, why do you come here when what you expect to find is a bunch of young punks. What do you come here for if that is what you expect to find?

originally posted by: geezlouise
a reply to: daryllyn

I so agree with this. You're spot on.

It's the basic tenant of mindfulness.

Something I have said for a long time, something that people find hard to do, though.

a reply to: Metallicus

Well, you can go through life a victim and get upset and weepy every time something doesn't you your way or you can 'grow a thicker skin'.

Seriously? Maybe you should grow a thicker skin

She's exactly right - and you deserve to be called on your fake non-victim horsecrap

What you prefer are silent compliant victims - people that won't interfere with your wants and needs

you're not the least bit concerned about anything else

I have hardly ever heard anyone whine as much as this quit yer bitchin' crowd

Obvious hot house flower is obvious - you ain't fooling anybody

I had someone tell me I had a thin skin so I beat his ass.
Because I KNOW I have sensitivity issues ,I don't need to be reminded,but sure as hell don't need to be instructed in life THAT'S my job.

a reply to: geezlouise

Life is not easy.

Perhaps it's just a way of expressing the need to brace yourself for the bumpy ride ahead of you.

I wish people were more brutally honest about the harsh reality of life to be honest.

I didn't have an easy go from the beginning either.....Life still continues to kick my butt.

originally posted by: cavtrooper7
I had someone tell me I had a thin skin so I beat his ass.

I don't know why but I laughed so hard reading this.

a reply to: geezlouise
After going back and reading the OP in more detail....It's not about growing thick skin ....

At ALL!

It's really about evolving and accepting change.


Change you agree with or not.

It's all about how a person reacts the change IMO.


No one likes a whiner....that much I do know for a fact!


I love the snow but, the snowflakes are becoming quite annoying.

a reply to: JinMI

It's a clear statement on my duality.

originally posted by: geezlouise


1. You can keep your trap shut because you have learned to suffer in silence, in which case the restaurant workers will never learn their own mistakes in order to work towards becoming a better establishment as a whole in the future. Because if you don't know there's a problem to begin with, you won't have any motivation to work towards a solution- this ignorance is a negative for everyone.

or 2. ...you can complain and change the future. Because what people have by and large apparently forgotten... is that there is a positive aspect to complaining (as long as you're not being an overboard d-ck about it) because when you let others know what they have done wrong... it can then change everyone, and thus change the future, so that the mistake doesn't happen again. Then we can all move towards manifesting a better, safer, and healthier environment for ourselves where we never have to grow thick skins.

I would have to go with 1, take my losses and enter the place in my book of places not to go to. Because many other people will do the same, the place will go out of business. It's like natural selection. You could try to change the world, but nobody likes that, you have to have something special to succeed (and why would you go to a place like that anyway?) like Gordon Ramsey and how he can turn food places around. You might return but check your burger for extra toppings.

You don't want to grow a thicker skin, that is up to you, it's in your own advantage.

a reply to: geezlouise

Keyboard Rambos.

The internet is full of them.

People on the internet like to portray themselves as some kind of 'tough guy'.... and gawd forbid anyone else dare to show any kind of emotion/empathy/caring towards others.

Meanwhile in the real world, these same online Rambos most likely crawl into the fetal position and suck on their thumbs the minute a situation gets too heavy for them to handle.



You just continue being you, geezlouise (kind, polite, respectful, caring, feeling)... because in my book you are a pretty dang awesome person from what I've read of your posts since the day you joined ATS !

Don't let the keyboard Rambos suck you into their pathetic little vortex-of-no-return.




In the words of Dora:

Just keep swimming
Just keep swimming

a reply to: johnnyjoe1979

Oh my god this is something that I considered introducing here but I didn't so I'm glad you did.

The truth is, cause and effect. People will get what they deserve. So yes the team will fail, the restaurant will lose business, because nobody likes change... you're absolutely right. It's Bernini's Tower, crab mentality, frog in the pot, Tonya Harding, and the wayward idiot son taking over the family business and letting it go to sh-t. It's just bound to happen.

So yeah and it's not that I want to change the world. It's that everybody wants to change me because apparently I'm some kind of unf-ckingbelievable. And I am good at adapting... I promise. I am. But yeah, I'm still gonna do everything I can to build a safer environment for myself(not the whole GD world) so that I don't have to adapt to a poisonous, toxic, abusive environment. Cause it really is uncomfortable sometimes.

And really it's not about growing a thicker skin, period. But I am glad you pointed that aspect of reality out. Thank you.

Thank you all for your kindness. I am very sensitive and mindful and receptive to it.

a reply to: CranialSponge

OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU and you just made my night.

a reply to: geezlouise

THE ONLY fair I saw in my life was run by the state and had children's rides,otherwise you must compete for dollars.
No work no pay ,you starve.
People Shouldn't be treated like this I agree,NOT at all the point.
THE OTHER people will deceive you to achive their own means in business,ALL the time,outright lies and they will get away with it.
Others will take credit for your work THAT always is fun...and you can't hit them.
The world goes contrary to ones plans ,adapt or you can have an apartment life in temporary employment,stress from the system over bills ,it gets ugly.

a reply to: geezlouise

And people should not put on armour when they head into battle, or knee pads when they go skateboarding. What it means is to protect and defend yourself, so when someone is less forgiving, you aren't completely crippled by it.

Lol, racist attack?

That's what everyone means when it is said grow thicker skin.

Was the attacker banned?

What will people do when the aliens come and treat us like worms?

Someone has to tell them to shove it, right?

originally posted by: Metallicus
Honestly, people give too much validity to their emotions.

Logic and reason are your friend.

And I guess that is a lot of out problematic existence, some handle the balance of logic and reason and emotions to different degrees. It's almost like we could be two different species almost. Funny how we manage to communicate at all with these existential differences. If you figure a way to get past this major difference pass it on, other than the old 'I'm right and your wrong" kinda thing that we all fall for.

a reply to: geezlouise

So how about, "go f-ck yourself," to everyone who's ever said... "grow a thicker skin," to anybody.

So, if someone didn't like this comment and told you so, how would you react?

What would you tell them?

I tend to be a straightforward person. I also tend to say what's on my mind.

I must say that I respect your feelings Geez.

I am brash to the brash and a fool towards fools. Or rather, sometimes, I simply disagree. When I disagree, I rarely mince words.

As an example, I don't complain about getting bad food usually because in my experience that is par for the course, whether I paid a dollar or fifteen.

I do complain about stupidity.

I also don't like my wife to think I will lie to her, ever. Those who tell white lies can tell big ones.

"How do I look?"

Well... how do I say this and make it somewhat palatable?

"You look like the Goodyear Blimp wearing a bathrobe and curlers."

It's not true, in fact, she looks great. But she Always looks great. The question gets old. So I respond with sarcasm, not because she looks bad, but because the self awareness level is enhanced by my obvious hyperbolic insult which is simply the farthest from the truth.

All in jest? She'll get offended. She'll take me seriously even though to this day she knows what I mean.

It is a case like that where "thicken-up madame, but not physically, oh my dayum" seems relevant.

But as for people actually trying to hurt you or even ignorantly actually hurting you? As for those who say things to guilt you or wrong you for having a heart? Yeah. I agree, those are the snowflakes, not you.

We must learn to take responsibility for ourselves, however. Ignore the fools, the jealous, the hateful, the arrogant, the slanderers, and whoever attempts to dominate with a bad heart.

Can't ignore physical threats though.

I know what you mean Geez, and I also agree with Metallicus, too.

I suppose I wish I could have access to a couple of your real life examples to determine better whether people are punishing you or whether it is yourself.

But, in the end, short of unavoidable abuse, we do it to ourselves. One may have a soft heart and still choose to ignore what even the closest of people say in judgment, often mislabeled "advice".

To be human is to err, they say. But I say to be human is to take personal responsibility for ALL of you, feelings included.

It's unfortunate that many jerks will attack you but then say, "take personal responsibility" because in their hypocrisy, their advice is correct.

So, take it. Fools have a tendency of giving up the secret to dismantling their grip on you, if you pay attention.

This all to say, "I love you, I agree, but get over it."

You will find freedom in not caring what people think of you.

Respect admiration, but disregard disgust, unless you're evil. In which case, do the opposite of what I just said.