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a reply to: nonspecific


I fell of the wagon hard as well nonspecific on Friday a bottle of whisky and some beers , i went to bed thinking i would have been better drinking tea i felt that sober but i am still rough on Sunday night , back to the non alcoholic stuff for me .


I have been where you are now and know it is no fun going home to a empty home , Maybe write some music and try and win the good lady back .

It can be a bumpy road that the wagon is on ,i have fallen off many times .

originally posted by: nonspecific
well 6 days was a little disapointing I will admit.
-- snip --
# it all, I can always have another go when things are a bit better eh

Be proud of a 6 day success! You did something that literally thousands of people around the world can't do. A lot of them get by with telling themselves 6 days of sobriety is something they don't care enough to attempt. That "I could if I really wanted to" attitude is a way of avoiding the truth.

Six days is a respectable first try. You can aim for a longer period next time. (Still in your corner! )

Ouch! Sorry to hear of your troubles. I'm sending good thoughts your way.
Just take it one day at a time. Reach out to friends who don't drink and cultivate those relationships. You have a lot of folks pulling for you here but nothing can match face to face.

originally posted by: stonerwilliam
a reply to: nonspecific


I fell of the wagon hard as well nonspecific on Friday a bottle of whisky and some beers , i went to bed thinking i would have been better drinking tea i felt that sober but i am still rough on Sunday night , back to the non alcoholic stuff for me .


I have been where you are now and know it is no fun going home to a empty home , Maybe write some music and try and win the good lady back .

It can be a bumpy road that the wagon is on ,i have fallen off many times .

I hope you don't beat yourself up for falling and I and others have your back and are here if you need us.

This may sound silly but I swear that a bunch of strangers helped me through this more than any of my real life friends and many of the posts and pm's made me stronger and a lot made me cry like a small child with the love and support that people I have and will never meet have given.

I only had 5 beers last night which suprised me as I had bought 20 expecting to batter the lot and # the world.

The first one tasted good but I was aware that I was letting myself and others down although I was drinking it as MrsNonspecific and I split up so I think that is to be expected.

The next three I drank just after she left after my friend who is staying went out for an hour and I felt the peace that alcohol brings to an addict, my muscles relaxed the pain went away and I cared not for the troubles of the world I was with my best friend again and everything was warm and cosy.

the 5th was unusual, I have not eaten for about 3 days and maybe that had something to do with it but for the first time I actually felt alcohol as a drug. I could feel its effects on my body and mind as something seperate from me, a sensation as opposed to a natural state of bieng. I think I now understand how other people say that they know when they have had enough or choose not to drink, something I never understood before. I finished the 5th beer and decided to go to bed without drinking the lot, something I would never normally do.

I did fall early but given the circumstances I am not beating myself up and feel that I can take something from it that will be benaficial.

Be strong buddy.

a reply to: nonspecific

I fall of the wagon every 2 weeks on a friday but it is better than the way i was years ago , every day was a whole new day to screw up then , The women came and went like cars back then staying for a couple of years then going , I actually laughed with my old collie one day about how many he had seen come and go in my life lol .

You need to eat more bud that is what finished my friend and it has left a load of people without a great guy in their life one time i bought him over fifty quids worth of food and he just watched it go off rather than eat , i gave up in the end trying to get him to stop drinking , He had to have it and told me some weird stuff he imagined while trying to come off it , luckily i have never been that bad when i quit drinking for weeks or months .

Your friends who are drinking in front of you are not helping you at all it is like blowing smoke into the face of someone who is trying to stop smoking .

When you hit rock bottom dont start digging , i am glad when the clock strikes 10 some nights and the booze counter closes , i am one determined cookie though when i know it is going to win sometimes i will go for a score draw and buy some non alcoholic stuff after 2 of those you think what the hell am i doing and i normally end back on the coffee/tea .

Do not give up on the Mrs , She will be hurting as much as you are , and as you wrote you have had a hair cut and are smartening up i think that is the road to go down .

originally posted by: stonerwilliam
a reply to: nonspecific

I fall of the wagon every 2 weeks on a friday but it is better than the way i was years ago , every day was a whole new day to screw up then , The women came and went like cars back then staying for a couple of years then going , I actually laughed with my old collie one day about how many he had seen come and go in my life lol .

You need to eat more bud that is what finished my friend and it has left a load of people without a great guy in their life one time i bought him over fifty quids worth of food and he just watched it go off rather than eat , i gave up in the end trying to get him to stop drinking , He had to have it and told me some weird stuff he imagined while trying to come off it , luckily i have never been that bad when i quit drinking for weeks or months .

Your friends who are drinking in front of you are not helping you at all it is like blowing smoke into the face of someone who is trying to stop smoking .

When you hit rock bottom dont start digging , i am glad when the clock strikes 10 some nights and the booze counter closes , i am one determined cookie though when i know it is going to win sometimes i will go for a score draw and buy some non alcoholic stuff after 2 of those you think what the hell am i doing and i normally end back on the coffee/tea .

Do not give up on the Mrs , She will be hurting as much as you are , and as you wrote you have had a hair cut and are smartening up i think that is the road to go down .

If you have it down to once a fortnight then I would say that you are not falling off the wagon but have been able to control your drinking in a way that suits you best for the time without cracking, I see nothing wrong with this.

As to the eating I was a chef for many years and that can have an impact on your eating habits, Most people when they see or smell food get a desire to eat. As a chef you are constantly seeing tasting and smelling food that is not yours and can become accostomed to thinking "I'll eat later" but later never comes, then when you finish work at 10 at night and walk straight into a bar you automatically buy a beer and food can become something that others do.

I have no desire to eat and have dropped to under 9 stone and I'm over 5 foot 10.

As to the Mrs it is over and although I am sad I am also kind of relieved, until it came to a head neither of us knew how happy the other one was and how unhappy we both were as we want different things out of life, Chalk and cheese is one thing but a left wing protesting hippy and a corperate working career woman will only ever have a limited lifespan. We both love each other to the ends of the earth but need to go our own ways to become what we both deserve to be.

Your a good guy for a stoner and if you ever need to talk about stuff, things or a combination of the two then give me a pm.

I owe you more favours than you may realise.

a reply to: nonspecific

I've had some problems with eating due to tummy bugs, intolerances, lack of appetite or allergies and I've learnt one handy trick that might be useful to you.

Eat the same thing at the same time every day. Even if you're not hungry or you don't feel like it, you'll have an expectation to be fed.

Believe me, you'll start to feel deprived if the food isn't forthcoming. Eventually you can vary the diet but the important thing is to train yourself to eat.

a reply to: nonspecific


You need to see a doctor about your eating and weight , they can give you little milk shake type things that have 3000 calories in them and it beats the hell out doing the washing up .

I was at a funeral of a old work mate of mine 3 weeks ago due to drink he was 43 !

Best thing i ever did was stop going to bars , as a wise man said they are full of lonely people , like you i have a addictive personality and had to be the last person to leave the bar , even when drinking on my own it is a compitition to see who can drink the most if that makes sense to you .

Done the 15-20 beers a day route plus spirits and weed but it took its toll on my memory been there seen it and done it but i just cannot remember it lol .

Out of 365 days in a year i was drunk 250 , i used to mark it on a calendar and look back , the amazing thing was i could always go to my work , i still feel rough at 1.20 am on tuesday morning from my drinking on friday night but i went to bed sober after drinking a bottle of whisky straight and some beers must be getting old bud .

It was the internet that stopped me from going totally retard , hope you find something to fill in those gaps other than booze

My goals are more important than my vices, addictions, circumstances, and flaws.

Do you have goals? make one goal for 5 years..something big..something that is gonna require a lot of work and prep..then work towards it..cut out things that will slow you down. no goals means your life is only just a day to day grind with only vices to motivate you. not really worth continued existing if there is no passion left..goals can do that.

so. do this...say, "in 5 years, I will ____". then work towards it...be it climb a mountain in a far away land, or learn how to fly a airplane, etc..something that forces you to restructure your life and not seek escape in a bottle.

then write down that first sentence and hang it on the wall..look at it often, and resolve to make that statement true.

your goals are more important than your vices, addictions, circumstances, and flaws.

For me:
I will climb Mount Fuji within 5 years.