It's my right to Piss you Off. AND IF YOU ARE......

a reply to: intrepid

The problem is people thinking they're so morally superior they won't listen to opposing arguments

I dont think you understand the triggered saying

a reply to: JDmOKI

I know that I am not morally superior and surprising enough,I do listen.
My mind is made up on certain subjects and I won't change it.

a reply to: mamabeth
What? A trap? I wouldn't set a trap. You can trust me.

a reply to: Skid Mark

I kept clicking on the video and smashed my Mac because it would not play. Now i am on my iPhone. It still won't play so I am pissed.

a reply to: Skid Mark

One time I trusted a man and what did he do? He made me a mama!

a reply to: Quantum12

I told you it was a trap.I was afraid my computer would go wonky on me if
I had watched it.

There was good quote, I can't remember from who, but it goes something like "Hate speech isn't a universal concept, it only exists in the minds of the offended."

Food for thought.

originally posted by: intrepid
..... it's your fault.

Not referring to ATS per se. It seems like society today is this petty.

I have a problem with this thinking on so many levels. Yes, they are pixels on a screen but they are also communication. If you look at someone long enough, that varies from person to person, you will be able to "trigger" damn near anyone. That's the person's fault that someone took the time to figure out what would piss you off? That's YOUR fault?

Ridiculous.

Which leads me to the BIG part of my beef. WHY? Why do people feel the need to piss others off? Does it make you feel better? Is your life so damn bad that "misery loves company" isn't a colloquialism but a way of life? This childishness has to end.

its normal behavior. its the same in almost every context.

once you give someone whom otherwise would have no other platform to speak or voice their opinion, its lights out. its a very manipulative pretext of 'i know something you dont'. otherwise how would people have an opinion on everything, im sure we all commented and pretended to be subject matter expert on various topics posted and felt rightfully so. it didnt matter if its a social or political or global topic, we all have an input.
and that same motive, that same spark to opine HATES criticism. our opinions are sacred.
and its ONLY defense, the same spark, is to make fun of others, belittle them, straw man, ad Hominem, project onto them, 'im ignoring you now because i won' etc.

its human nature. if we saw the equivalent in nature, we would just say its just nature. well this is our version. you give a version of the internet to isolated tribes and let them start chatting on forums, theyll be jerks just like people here. its what anonymity or close to it, does.

hence this very reply

originally posted by: Skid Mark
a reply to: mamabeth
I love a challenge. Here's a nice video for you to watch in the meantime.

Oh my f** lord

520clicks later and a visit to Apple why is my touch screen frozen


That's just NEeeeeesty I can't get over it

a reply to: Tehthehet
Now you can save the pic and try it on your friends. Pass the fun along.

a reply to: intrepid

One of the most profound lessons I've learned in life?

You actually do have control over how you feel.

You choose to allow someone else to illicit an emotional response from you.

When you get angry over something someone says or does, you are giving them control over you. You are resigning your control over your emotional state to them.

The more they enrage you, the more you are dancing like a puppet.

Most of the time, however, we're on autopilot. We have never trained ourselves to watch our emotions and our thoughts. We just blindly think, say, and do things. We simply react instead of thinking, "OK, that's their opinion and not mine. What they think or feel is their own little show, not mine. What they say, think or do has nothing to do with me".

People that abuse other people know this...these people know that they can control other people by illicit emotional responses from them. Put-downs, degrading hate speech, brow beating and slandering/shaming someone into oblivion all are used to control a person and lead them to low levels of self esteem.

People love to piss other people off because it's a way to gain control over a social situation. Most people feel very helpless today. Many people feel marginalized and lost in an impersonal and cold world that doesn't care about them. By being aggressive and pissing other people off, it makes them feel powerful and stokes the fires of the ego. Having the ability to cause emotional responses in others gives people an immense ego boost and power trip.

originally posted by: intrepid
..... it's your fault.

Not referring to ATS per se. It seems like society today is this petty.

I have a problem with this thinking on so many levels. Yes, they are pixels on a screen but they are also communication. If you look at someone long enough, that varies from person to person, you will be able to "trigger" damn near anyone. That's the person's fault that someone took the time to figure out what would piss you off? That's YOUR fault?

Ridiculous.

Which leads me to the BIG part of my beef. WHY? Why do people feel the need to piss others off? Does it make you feel better? Is your life so damn bad that "misery loves company" isn't a colloquialism but a way of life? This childishness has to end.

You are a very clever & bright person, Intrepid. This OP is another illustration of that.

WHY?

Perhaps you didn't think on it long enough.

I think you might have similarly asked--Where does the inner gritch come from?

Clearly, it does NOT come from quality parenting--of which there is an epidemic scarcity.

Right. It comes from . . . drum roll . . . Attachment Disorder

Children--who--in the first 6-8 years of life--have one or more parents (in my experience, particularly a Dad) who:

--is alcoholic &/or
--is an other drug abuser &/or
--is cold &/or
--is distant &/or
--is absent &/or
--is harsh &/or
--is seriously perfectionistic &/or
--is emotionally abusive &/or
--is physically abusive &/or
--is sexually abusive &/or
--is a workaholic &/or
--is a rage-a-holic
etc.

--such a child WILL have a very serious degree of Attachment Disorder (usually called RAD for Reactive Attachment Disorder). They just will. No doubt about it. It is a virtual 99.999999% certainty. And THAT means that said child WILL have significant PHYSIOLOGICAL brain damage (as verified by MRI tests) in TWO KEY brain areas:

--the brain area having to do with EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION

and

--the brain area having to do with RELATIONSHIPS.

THAT is basically the WHY of your OP.

Then throw in the oligarchy's deliberately winding folks up to shred each other--even to the point of civil war, rioting and mass murder . . . and things are definitely off and running.

"Why the need to piss each other off?"

How to put it . . . The inner angst; the inner gritch; the inner discomfort; the inner . . . SCREAM . . . cue the famous painting . . . IS THERE from the RAD. It doesn't go away without a LOT of concentrated (usually professionally aided) work; quality relationships; and a whole new way of perceiving, learning, relating and living--essentially RETRAINING, REWIRING the BRAIN. How many folks do you know with such problems who doggedly do the work required to learn to live in a mutually respectful, caring way?

I've worked hard all my adult life--even in my teens--got my PhD in clinical psych--had tons of individual and group therapy; had tons of Christian spiritual individual and group counseling and deliverance sessions--and still--I wrestle with the residue of such a childhood. Sure, I'm enormously better than I was at 14. But it has been a very tortured road.

Sure, I was so desperate for relationships that I virtually did back-flips to try and please whomever I was around just to feel less alone.

Sure, I HATED conflict, turmoil, discord between people and particularly between me and someone else.

Nevertheless, I'd, with great horror periodically catch myself saying some fool prickly thing.

Did it feel good? Yes and no. It did NOT come out of a calm, healed, confident place.

It came out of hurt, fear, insecurity. Hurt tended to trigger anger. Fear and insecurity tended to trigger grasping--sometimes grasping for any significant EMOTIONAL response to SIGNAL that I was alive, that I really did breathe air and take up space and had SOME impact on my environment to prove that I existed and was worth at least a little space and air.

I did not feel . . . drum roll . . . CONNECTED, ATTACHED.

There may have been a feeling of being justified and a feeling of release that sort of felt good. But the bigger, more lasting feeling was yet more grief; more regret; more alone angst. The most lasting feelings were not positive.

In some respects, yeah, misery loves company.

But mostly such folks do NOT KNOW ANY BETTER WAY to . . . drum roll . . . EXPRESS their EMOTIONAL feelings. That area of their brain is PHYSIOLOGICALLY DAMAGED. They literally are BRAIN DAMAGED in such matters. It's just a fact. And even WHEN they sort of have learned and know better in some part of their head that there's a better way to communicate--the old wiring, the old reflexes are NOT that easily or quickly overcome.

Yes, it IS a way of life BECAUSE of the RAD. They do NOT KNOW--particularly in a truly learned and implemented way--THEY DO NOT KNOW how to live any better way. Even if they intellectually can see that there's a better way--even if they know someone who does such things better--it's like expecting them to speak Swahili. It would take a long time for them to learn to reliably do it.

YES, it 'has' to end. But for billions of people, it won't end as long as they are alive. There are not enough counselors. And when the counselors are available--the pride, selfishness, anger, brittleness, thin-skinned stuff, etc. will get in the way and prevent long hard work to overcome such reflexes.

On ATS . . . I'd suggest basically not tolerating it--but do so with some compassion. SHAPE the behavior step by step. Not only model but teach caringly and incrementally HOW to communicate content differently.

Teach them how to say "I feel __________ when ___________." rather than "YOU MAKE ME MAD." etc. That takes responsibility for their feelings while leaving the other person responsibility for the other person's part.

Yeah, I know, Mods are busy enough without having to be instructors and counselors. But I don't know a better way to deal with it. I don't know a better way to fill that part of your role.

Just slapping it down doesn't make it go away without unnecessary (imho) bannings. Eventually, there'd be few 'adult' posters left. LOL.

Most folks less than 70 years old have trigger issues. And, there's always SOME terminally immature, terminally INSECURE, 2-year old mentality, very serious RAD afflicted folks around quite willing and eager to push buttons out of their own chronic and serious gritch and angst. And then, they are likely off and running. Nip it in the bud wherever possible. But teach, in the process. After enough lessons, patience and compassion, no more grace. But try hard, to teach, first, imho.

Otherwise, it will NEVER END.

imho.

Great topic. Thanks.

a reply to: MystikMushroom

WELL PUT, INDEED.

Though I think that the 'knowing how to control' by pushing emotional buttons is not always all that conscious.

I think it's more reflexive rather than premeditated.

I think it is MORE a kind of striking out--vengence, retaliation, or 'merely' just spewing out of their chronic inner angst and gritch. See my post above.

a reply to: intrepid
I think you'll find we've somehow shifted into the twilight zone, where everything is backwards.

Offense is the fault of the victim rather than the obnoxious jerk; 'Liberal' has been redefined to satan incarnate rather than 'willing to accept change'; Science is somehow demonized; Blogs are somehow factual sources and anything that disagrees with them is 'liberal propaganda'; The people who complain most about emasculation are the loudest whiners...

The Republican "outsider" is a CFR-supporting man whose 2000 platform had universal healthcare, and later donated millions to his present opposition; but I digress...

a reply to: intrepid

There are multiple reasons why some people get a high out of seeing others getting pissed off. One "alternative" reason I can think of is that some people want a deeper glimpse into the psyche of an individual who is otherwise in a calm and collected state of mind.

Which is strange, because behaviour is more likely to be unpredictable and rash when feelings of anger take over — not indicative of their normal nature. But that might be precisely the motivation for eliciting the anger in the first place...

Sounds like you idle at Pissed Off...

Cheers

originally posted by: mamabeth
a reply to: JDmOKI

I know that I am not morally superior and surprising enough,I do listen.
My mind is made up on certain subjects and I won't change it.

I won't ever go so far as to say I won't change my mind, but I will say that there are very few arguments on some subjects that I have not seen and considered and rejected many, many times after having thought them through. When it comes to those arguments, unless you can present them in a novel way, I am going to summarily and sometimes flippantly dismiss them.

It doesn't always have anything to do with my perception of your intellect, merely my boredom with the argument itself.

a reply to: intrepid

I think it's a mixture of things.

Some people lack candor and respect for others, via narcissism and ego. On the other hand, lots of individuals these days over-react to tiny issues (Butt-hurt easily).

Good post S+F

a reply to: intrepid

I've been a heavy Internet user since about the year 2000, people have always been like this on the net, but to a lot lesser degree than now.

I do think that the anonymity has increased the percentage of people being hooked on being right, it's like being on a mild drug. When you feel that you are right, or that you have dominated the conversation, you release hormones that go to the brain (adrenaline, dopamine) which make you feel really good.

With anonymity, and mostly not having to SEE the persons reaction in real life and only having to read it, gives you way more chance of FEELING you are a dominating person (you can easily convince yourself that you are smarter from behind a computer screen). So consequently it is way more easier to get that hormone rush, and many thrive (a vast majority) on it now, and the more condescending you are the better it make you feel.

The downside is, what you use to trigger other peoples nerves also triggers yours, and that is why you use those triggers.

What I do when I feel that someone is being condescending, I point it out that person in a polite manor, remind him/her that this is only an internet discussion with a stranger, that we can have different point of views but you don't have to make yourself feel smart by being condescending to get your point across. If the person says that he/she didn't mean to be condescending (it happens a lot) then continues the conversation in a polite manor I continue the conversation also, if the person goes full blown sarcasm and whatnot I just leave that person alone and respond to others.

Bottom line is we all get a rush when we feel that we are dominating, just some people get addicted to it, hence why "trolls" exist, though I think the term trolls is a bit to general.

originally posted by: xuenchen
Well some "people" sure do seem to get pissed off at the littlest nit-picky things.

And many times it's their own fault for mis-interpreting.

Talk about irony...