posted on Apr, 27 2016 @ 03:51 PM
Isn't it weird? Of course, when you are young, you hear older people describe this... but I guess I just thought I would feel my age by then.
Nope. I have to keep reminding myself I am old. If I am not near mirrors, I forget. I have a different image in my mind. There's so many moments I
find myself ready to make choices that are not appropriate for my age. I almost dyed my hair purple... until I remembered, I will just look like
another old lady that got carried away with the toner for her white hair.
I keep starting new hobbies, forgetting that I probably don't have the time to get good at them! The latest is the drums, which is just starting to
feel good, but I am sure my body will give up on me before I can play decently.
I often find myself thinking (and realizing, in the same moment how superficial I actually am) that if something happened to my husband, I would
probably be alone for the rest of my life. It is somehow poignant to realize you are at that point where things like romance or love would not be
I think that is also the only moment I actually feel the years though, because it is also the first time I can imagine that and feel I coud handle it.
(with a sigh, all the same) When I was younger, it was something that would really upset me badly.
My mother died when she was 42, so I never saw her get to the age I am now. I am older than she ever was. Somehow that makes it harder for me to
identify with it. I'm 48, which I guess isn't that old in some minds, but my hair turned 100% gray in the last two years, which ages me terribly, and
I have two grandchildren.
edit on 27-4-2016 by Bluesma because: (no reason given)