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originally posted by: RedCairo
I mean people are giving you a genuine chance to participate in a 'meaningful' way which you say you want. But in 15 pages of thread you've had almost no conversation that doesn't fit one of the descriptions above.
originally posted by: InTheLight
originally posted by: TheBadCabbie
originally posted by: InTheLight
originally posted by: SlapMonkey
a reply to: rockintitz
I think what many people fail to understand is that those who rape people have a mental problem that isn't fixed by logical discussion.
Those who continue to treat rapists as if logical discussion will fix the problem are literally part of the problem, because they often choose to berate those who suggest constructive ideas (concealed carry and training for women, self-defense classes, et.) that empower potential victims are the wrong solution.
Both mindsets baffle my sense of understanding.
It could be a mental problem or a programming (culture) issue, but I do agree with you that the berating of those trying to find solutions and open up dialogue about this is wrong. However, if packing a gun and self-defence skills is a person's only solution, then so be it, but it is wrong to put the responsibility there and not deal with (or even acknowledge) the underlying problem.
What is/are the underlying problem(s), in your opinion?
It is complex and I am still trying to figure it out, moreso if women's supposed sexual freedom actually produces a push-back from those that have a warped need to control and gain power over others, and use the violence of rape to satisfy that need. What then is the underlying cause of that need? A result of violence begats violence via bullying from being bullied? Mob mentality? A mental illness or psychosis?
What do think it is, or where it comes from?
www.theguardian.com...
originally posted by: RedCairo
At this point most men I know have no idea what to do around women because no matter what they do, probably someone is going to get all offended about it. And most men I know aren't even complaining about whatever it is women want, they just want SOME kind of consistent rules so it doesn't seem like the whole of the social world is stacked against them and they're damned either way. This can not only affect their mating but career and more, so it's not really the small issue it might seem.
It's like a "dysfunctional family" behavior has been taken to the public at this point and we have an entire culture of men walking on eggshells, and gradually learning to seek permission/validation from women around them even subtly for levels of "being" that are just ridiculous and should be independent -- most aren't even aware of how this permeates their life. It's bad enough for 'men', it's even worse for boys growing up in it, especially with the stunning % of single moms (as I am btw). Books like "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and "The Way of Men" are good reading for men on these topics (I once got those for my best friend, who is a man, for Valentine's Day, and he he liked them as well as most the reviewers did on Amazon).
So they're already always on the edge of being 'wrong' according to some woman no matter how hard they try socially, and then the media regularly cycle-explodes with insisting that all men are inherently rapists -- so now they're all wrong period, they don't have to do anything at all.
At this point I think any human nature, but especially the more-commonly-aggressive nature of dominantly-testosterone driven biologicals, is going to get snarky, defensive, sarcastic and satirical, and lose a lot of the kinder, gentler nature they might normally have, or have had, prior to modern feminism making them feel either insecure or paranoid or both.
This is not about rape. Your point that the assumptions about all men and rape are inherently sexist are right though, I think.
RC
originally posted by: RedCairo
a reply to: redmage
That reminds me of one of the funniest video shorts exactly on this!
youtu.be...
originally posted by: InTheLight
a reply to: redmage
I cannot make an informed opinion without your input, by defining and explaining why you think it was rape and not betrayal.
originally posted by: InTheLight
Using the word rape to describe activities other than actual rape lessens the impact that such violation should have on us, and strays dangerously close to normalizing it.
Rape is a crossing of another’s sexual boundaries without their permission—or with their coerced permission. It is a sexualized trespassing and violation of their being. Its tools are various combinations of physical force, threat, coercion, abuse of authority, manipulation, and a capacity to shut off empathy and override conscience. Rape features aggression and lust in a darkly compelling embrace, being allowed to possess and run one, in contexts ranging from the mundane to the evil.
www.truth-out.org...
Could the Rape Culture hypothesis be a case of "talking about it" gone awry?
originally posted by: Butterfinger
The link she posted as an answer to your question says it all.
originally posted by: Butterfinger
So, HAD you known she was married you would not have had intercourse. Why? Sounds like you had a sexual boundary that includes not sleeping with someone else's partner.
originally posted by: TheBadCabbie
Been there, done that. It is no fun, I can tell you. I've thought up and discarded a few lengthy rants in formulating my reply to you, but I'll just briefly say that I have been put in this position more times than I care to recount. It has affected my ability to relate to the fairer sex a great deal, and never in a positive way.
Furthermore, I believe that if someone is accusing someone else of rape and those allegations are found to be false, I believe that the accuser should serve the same sentence that the accused would have served. In cases of people spending years in prison before it comes out that the accusations are a lie, the sentence should be doubled for the accuser.
originally posted by: RedCairo
That reminds me of one of the funniest video shorts exactly on this!
youtu.be...