FBI Accidentally Spills Water on Terror Suspect's iPhone, Rendering it Useless

Apparently moments after successfully unlocking the San Bernadino shooting suspect's iPhone, an FBI agent accidentally spilled a glass of water on it, thwarting any chance of getting any useful information out of it. Apple's CEO has offered to replace the phone, much beside the point.

Source: The New Yorker

I find this hard to believe, like the plot of a TV show like The Brink. It reads like the Onion, but it's from The New Yorker.

originally posted by: johnsequitur1221
Source: The New Yorker

I find this hard to believe,

You should. Look at the URL, it's in the New Yorker's Humor section and this line at the end is a dead giveaway.

In a possible thawing of relations between Apple and the F.B.I., Apple C.E.O. Tim Cook offered to replace the damaged iPhone for seven hundred and forty-nine dollars, or two hundred and ninety-nine dollars with a two-year contract.

C'mon. This one wasn't even difficult.


edit: I just noticed - I don't know if intended or not but the article was posted at 9:11 am, if it was, this writer's quite good.

I somehow think the FBI is fibbing so they wont disturb the radicals still at large....
HAHAHAHA idiots!

It is satire.

EDIT: Uh, somebody needs to de-flag this crap.
(before you look stupid)

a reply to: johnsequitur1221

I find this hard to believe, like the plot of a TV show like The Brink. It reads like the Onion, but it's from The New Yorker.

The plot thickens…

the whole story line is a charade you ask me…

originally posted by: eNumbra

originally posted by: johnsequitur1221
Source: The New Yorker

I find this hard to believe,

You should. Look at the URL, it's in the New Yorker's Humor section and this line at the end is a dead giveaway.

In a possible thawing of relations between Apple and the F.B.I., Apple C.E.O. Tim Cook offered to replace the damaged iPhone for seven hundred and forty-nine dollars, or two hundred and ninety-nine dollars with a two-year contract.

C'mon. This one wasn't even difficult.


edit: I just noticed - I don't know if intended or not but the article was posted at 9:11 am, if it was, this writer's quite good.

And there's this clue at the end: "GET NEWS SATIRE FROM THE BOROWITZ REPORT DELIVERED TO YOUR INBOX."

It's The New Yorker satire, people, satire. Think of The New Yorker's humor section as The Onion for uppity people.

originally posted by: MotherMayEye

originally posted by: eNumbra

originally posted by: johnsequitur1221
Source: The New Yorker

I find this hard to believe,

You should. Look at the URL, it's in the New Yorker's Humor section and this line at the end is a dead giveaway.

In a possible thawing of relations between Apple and the F.B.I., Apple C.E.O. Tim Cook offered to replace the damaged iPhone for seven hundred and forty-nine dollars, or two hundred and ninety-nine dollars with a two-year contract.

C'mon. This one wasn't even difficult.


edit: I just noticed - I don't know if intended or not but the article was posted at 9:11 am, if it was, this writer's quite good.

And there's this clue at the end: "GET NEWS SATIRE FROM THE BOROWITZ REPORT DELIVERED TO YOUR INBOX."

I suppose there's that if you even make it through the entire article.

a reply to: johnsequitur1221

/0 pfft

originally posted by: bandersnatch
I somehow think the FBI is fibbing so they wont disturb the radicals still at large....
HAHAHAHA idiots!

I think they have access to domestic data any time they want, but cover that up by publicly pretending they can't hack a phone and then, when they do, whoops… accidentally sizzle the precious data with water.

Edit: Oh, never mind, its the Onion.

It's a satirical post, by a comedian.

a reply to: johnsequitur1221

You gotta be kidding me? Seriously, I'm supposed to believe this? With all the trouble the FBI went through to unlock that phone and it all ends with some jackass spilling water on it?

Sure, crap happens but this is next level for the FBI! Guess they never heard of the rice trick?

Oh satire, you win again!

Ah yes....the old "water damage" trick after conducting cell phone forensics.

It hides what they had to do in order to "hack" the phone. How many people here have been arrested, had their phone confiscated and gotten it back with "water damage"? Show of hands? You won't be the only one, I promise.

Even if satire, trust me -- 'water damage' to a phone the authorities have snooped through is a real thing.

What, water? Couldn't it have at least been champagne?

I think he should change it to champagne. Or at least Red Bull.

originally posted by: angeldoll
What, water? Couldn't it have at least been champagne?

I think he should change it to champagne. Or at least Red Bull.

It's the FBI, they're feds. Maybe weak coffee? LOL

originally posted by: MystikMushroom

Even if satire, trust me -- 'water damage' to a phone the authorities have snooped through is a real thing.

I'd more believe that they dropped it than spilled something on it. In fact they could drop it right when they hand it back and go whoops… sorry about that.

Forensics techs aren't allowed beverages in the lab, are they?

a reply to: intrptr

It's satire...

It's a lot easier to hand back a phone that's been dropped in a sink and dried off to someone vs. a cracked and broken phone.

"Hm..my phone doesn't work anymore, weird. It was working when the authorities took it away from me...I have a password on it too..."

vs.

"They handed me back my phone in pieces. I know they tampered with it"

The best part? A lot of the time you can't see water damage unless you open the phone up, especially iPhones. With some androids that have removable batteries, there's a sticker underneath he battery that turns a different color, indicating water damage. iPhones don't have removable batteries, you'd have to take the phone apart and look at the "guts" to see if there was water damage rendering the phone non-functional.

a reply to: johnsequitur1221


Oh, sure, what a clever move...
...I mean to say that the data was destroyed and now the FBI is again without the possibility of gaining the data.


You have to wonder about the logic of releasing the news that they had found a third-party to break the encryption?


Oh, well, surely, with the Hillary case they will do much better. ...Won't they?

Womp womp. Fooled me, and it's not even April yet Someone please move to LOL's forum.