I'm anti heterosexual marriage. Yep! Because nobody expressed that kind of stance so far...

I really mean it. And here is why:

1.) In a modern democratic secular society there is no need to marry other than getting tax-reductions. Children who where born by an un-married couple don't have lots of disadvantages in such a society.

2.) The devorce-rates are pretty high in western societies. So why even begin to promise something one can not keep in the long run anyway?

3.) I think un-married couples are more happy in the long run. Just my un-educated guess and observation.

4.) Having made the promise is something that will be denied (unconsciously) by the parts who did it, because it has to. People are not the property of someone else. And marriage is such a contract, kinda sorta, that transforms lovers into legalized, govermentally sanctioned entities.

5.) I'm not married....so nobody gets married! (...sarc...)


So...tell me, please, why marry and what for?

originally posted by: Willingly

So...tell me, please, why marry and what for?

No, I want you to tell me why I did get married ! 'cos I don't know!

Not to mention the average wedding is somewhere between $25,000-$35,000 now a days.

Mine was fortunately only $13k including rings.

Honestly, for us the only reason we got married was for appearance purposes. Neither of us feel marriage is anything special. It doesn't make us love each other more, but I still like having the title with my wife.

We're both atheists, so there certainly was no religious purpose to getting married. It was mainly just a life-hood milestone for us

a reply to: Willingly

You are right about some points.
Where I work 90% of the guys I work with have either been in a divorce, tell me not to get married, or are unhappy in their current marriage. It's rather rare for someone I work with to say "YEA GO FOR IT!"

I think the biggest thing is that marriage in today's world has lost it's meaning, go back even 60 years and marriage was still a big deal, a lot more people were tied down with traditions created by some sort of denomination of the christian faith.
Now days atheism is on the rise, and women's rights have been stronger than ever. Remember, marriage was more in favour of the male.

My girlfriends brother got married, and both his wife and him are atheists. But they didn't have a traditional religious ceremony, they simply just had a little ritual to show and strengthen their love, sort of say "we are forever".
But here's the thing, they had it in a church!
They chose a church because ever since she was little she wanted to get married in that place. It just goes to show how much of an influence the church had on people and still sort of does, you watch a movie or a TV show and it's always the same, white dress, tuxedo, brides maids, grooms, etc, etc. it's all majorly a catholic thing.

I think in less than a hundred years, less and less church weddings will take place, and more outdoor ceremonies, or just big parties will take place. But at the same time, a lot of people will get married just out of convenience, head over to city hall sign some papers and bam, tax cuts, etc. I know of two couples who did that.

a reply to: Willingly

Me and my girlfriend have been together for about 9 years and have two kids. I sometimes refer to her as my wife, and we are still very much in love with each other. The only problem with it is the stigma people place on it, every year her parents make little comments at the holidays about getting married, and I just kinda laugh it off. Her family is pretty religious so they can't seem to understand our point of view.

The only real problem I have with being unmarried is that being a 33 year old man and referring to the mother of your children as your "girlfriend" really bugs the crap out of me. "Life Partner" is too pretentious, but girlfriend just seems too middle-school for a man nearing middle-age.

a reply to: smurfy

No, I want you to tell me why I did get married ! 'cos I don't know!

LOL...

Maybe because you did not know better?

I hope you picked the right one, nevertheless.

originally posted by: Willingly
I really mean it. And here is why:

1.) In a modern democratic secular society there is no need to marry other than getting tax-reductions. Children who where born by an un-married couple don't have lots of disadvantages in such a society.

I would think they have the same advantages OR disadvantages as any other child?

2.) The devorce-rates are pretty high in western societies. So why even begin to promise something one can not keep in the long run anyway?

If one promises KNOWING that they have no intention of fulfilling it then, that isn't acceptable IMO.

3.) I think un-married couples are more happy in the long run. Just my un-educated guess and observation.

I don't know about that. That they are happier in the long run but, I, personally, know few married couples that I would attest as being happy.

4.) Having made the promise is something that will be denied (unconsciously) by the parts who did it, because it has to. People are not the property of someone else. And marriage is such a contract, kinda sorta, that transforms lovers into legalized, govermentally sanctioned entities.

I agree.

5.) I'm not married....so nobody gets married! (...sarc...)


So...tell me, please, why marry and what for?

No idea. I suppose if you truly are in love with that other person AND make the 'promises' and mean them, I suppose to each their own.

a reply to: Ghost147

Well...nothing wrong with romance, dude.

a reply to: strongfp

I think in less than a hundred years, less and less church weddings will take place, and more outdoor ceremonies, or just big parties will take place.

Yes, why not having our own private/offical partys to make it known there's a loving couple for the sake of having some ceremony because we all need reasons to party.

a reply to: Slanter

The only real problem I have with being unmarried is that being a 33 year old man and referring to the mother of your children as your "girlfriend" really bugs the crap out of me. "Life Partner" is too pretentious, but girlfriend just seems too middle-school for a man nearing middle-age.

I think to refer to her as your wife is absolutely appropreate and reasonable. Because she is the mother of your children. Who cares if you are "officially" married or not.

a reply to: Willingly

Well, it's what we humans do. Why have an entire holiday dedicated to spending large amounts of money, almost being forced to buy things for other people or else it could cause tension in a family?
Why have birthday parties?

It's really up to the couples if they want a marriage, and if they want to share the moment of expressing their ultimate love with one another then to each their own I guess.

a reply to: TNMockingbird

No idea. I suppose if you truly are in love with that other person AND make the 'promises' and mean them, I suppose to each their own.

The problem seem to be that when they marry, they really mean it, but then...after living together for a while and seeing their partner in a more realistic way, some wish they never promised something they are forced to keep by having made a contract.

And what would devorce-lawyers live from when there are no marriages anymore?

a reply to: Willingly

Marriage and Death, the money spent on both is ridiculous!

Nothing against making money, just how we have been conditioned to spend money on things that really aren't necessary nor needs the permission of the government!

a reply to: Willingly

I would say a high population has very little to no ability to judge themselves, their situation, and future situations in social settings and monogamy.

It's especially odd because society still views non-marriage as somewhat taboo and 'weird', so there's this lingering pressure for people to get married at some point in their life.

a reply to: strongfp

It's really up to the couples if they want a marriage, and if they want to share the moment of expressing their ultimate love with one another then to each their own I guess.

I agree. Some are more traditional and that's fine with me. But I demand to be accepted they way I prefer to have a love-relationship, being un-married, by them also. That way we'll all get along pretty nicely.

I wouldn't go as far as saying I'm anti-marriage, in that I respect others choice to be married. But it's not for me. Young bride,shot gun wedding,ended in years of hell. Now at 45 I have a husband/ spouse/ boyfriend/ life partner...pick any other label. Marriage is not for us nor many people we know. Times have changed and it doesn't hold the importance it once had.

a reply to: seeker1963

Nothing against making money, just how we have been conditioned to spend money on things that really aren't necessary nor needs the permission of the government!

But the poor jewelry-makers need the money!

I'm a jewelry-maker too, by the way. But I don't make wedding-rings.

a reply to: Willingly

Are you anti-heterosexual or anti-marriage, because those are two very different things and I'm a bit confused since only the very first part of OP talks about heterosexual couples, the rest seems to focus entirely on married/unmarried couples, and as we all know same-sex marriage is commonplace nowadays

I tell people I'm pro-abortion.

They say "you mean pro-choice." (usually condescendingly)

I say "No, I'm pro-abortion. I think everybody should get one."

a reply to: Ghost147

I would say a high population has very little to no ability to judge themselves, their situation, and future situations in social settings and monogamy.

It's especially odd because society still views non-marriage as somewhat taboo and 'weird', so there's this lingering pressure for people to get married at some point in their life.

Yes, maybe for some marriage is needed to have some sort of pressure to not run away when things get rough.

Others don't need that kind of being bound by an official contract.

Both partys should be accepted equally. Nobody likes to be forced or put under pressure just because some traditionalists think marriage is the only way to sustain family-life, which does not work out too well anyway, as devorce-rates can prove.