Weight loss frustration

I just want to scream, I am so frustrated and angry!

I've never had much problem with weight - I was always naturally muscular, an athletic type build, and didn't need to worry about it.

Then .... I started getting older, started getting more curves (which I actually liked at first!). Then I got this problem with my elbows which had me inactive for months, unable to use my arms, and I started eating out of boredom.
Then I quit smoking, and put on more pounds very quickly.

A couple months after quitting, I went into a weightloss mode. I have been carefully calculating my calorie intake at no more than 1100 a day, usually less. I eat no bread, pasta, dairy, or fatty foods, no sugar. Basically lots of vegetables, fruit, and some fish or turkey. I drink tons of water, green tea, Rooibos, herbal teas.... I exercise a minimum of 30 minutes a day, varying between running, yoga, weight lifting, elliptical trainer.

I have been so well disciplined and determined! Even with one of my sons home and he keeps junk food all over the house, seemingly having fun teasing me with it and trying to break my will, I haven't given in. (I have an open package of Oreo's behind my head right now, and I haven't touched them).

But it doesn't seem to be working at all! In the last month, I have lost 2 kilos (thats about 4 pounds) which seems like nothing for all this effort!
I don't see any difference, though my muscles are getting built a lot, they are still hidden under a thick layer of blubber.

I intensified my work outs last week so that I am so sore I can barely walk the next day, but still - no weightloss!

I want to cry, I want to break things. I feel so ANGRY! I feel ugly and my husband, though he is affectionate and lets me know he cares, he doesn't find me sexually attractive at all any more, and I don't blame him one bit. He's only human, and an aging cow maybe sweet to cuddle but that's all, isn't it?

I am capable of much discipline and endurance, but dammit, there has to be some pay back at some point to keep up the motivation!!!!
I better stop now. I'm starting to cry and I'm just going to repeat myself again and again. (and I have to keep deleting the swear words I know are against the T&C's.)

Water Cuts Through Rock with PERSISTENCE & CONTINUANCE. 4lbs Off, Is 4lbs You Didn't Have On Before.

Keep up the Good Work, I would recommend More running, or Inclined Running.

Regards,

SK

With all that healthy eating, and exercise, how do you feel?

I'd think you would feel pretty damn good, energetic and happier. Happier atleast until you mentally bring yourself down(we all do it). I think all your hard work is obviously paying off, but you are not going to see a ton of weight loss if you are offsetting it with a gain in muscle mass(denser and heavier).

I'm no professional, but i'd think at some point when you stop bulking up your muscles that you will start to see more weightloss. In the meantime, don't beat yourself up too much over what you had hoped to see, with regards to weight loss targets.

My .02

a reply to: Bluesma

I have the same issue. I am mid 40's and am having the worst time getting any weight off.
My most recent change in eating was to add a little whole grain carbs in with the Paleo/Mediterranean diet.
I only eat the carbs with lunch but it seems like my energy is better than it was before I added them.
Have lost two pounds in the last week since adding the whole grains.
Have you had your horemone levels, vitamin levels and thyroid checked?

a reply to: Bluesma

Hey Bluesma,

Don't give up...It's so freaking hard to drop wait especially in target areas..I've always been a firm believer in eating smaller healthier meals throughout the day...keep the meet and fish portions no bigger than the palm of your hand and eat those vegetables to fill in any space..

Problem with some diets is that it isn't necessarily sustainable to count calories for the rest of your life..some people call them snacks in between meals but you should do this religiously even if it comes downs to a can of tuna and some apple slices as a snack...you need to trick the body into not feeling like it needs to conserve fat to sustain itself...eating small meals a few times a day helps burn more fuel...I know that sound counter productive but I've been told that by trainers for years..most important is to drink a boat load of water throughout the day and coffee doesn't hurt especially before working out. Hoping I don't come across as a jack ass...

Best of luck

a reply to: Bluesma

4 pounds is a great start IMO. And you seem darned determined to get the weight off and even though I don't know you personally, I am proud of you for being able to give up junk and eat healthy. I'm sorry you feel so angry. I hope your anger is released soon. I think it takes longer than a month to lose more weight though. Keep moving forward and the best of luck to you!!

originally posted by: sassymcsnickerson
a reply to: Bluesma

I have the same issue. I am mid 40's and am having the worst time getting any weight off.
My most recent change in eating was to add a little whole grain carbs in with the Paleo/Mediterranean diet.
I only eat the carbs with lunch but it seems like my energy is better than it was before I added them.
Have lost two pounds in the last week since adding the whole grains.
Have you had your horemone levels, vitamin levels and thyroid checked?

Haven't checked any of those, but they might be involved. I just went through early menopause, so a lot of things are changing for me, and I don't know my body any more. I was having so many hot flashes and night sweats I just started hormone therapy, which helped that problem, but I wonder if it isn't also making me bloated?

I did feel good mentally, for a while now, the angry is just coming up in the last few days... maybe it is linked to the new hormone therapy. Maybe this mood will pass.

But it seems like this obsession with my weight is making life with others a problem too - my husband and I used to like to go out to restaurants when he came home on weekends... but now we have to stay home because I have to eat my vegetable soup for dinner. It's just getting boring.

Maybe I am just too used to my epicurean lifestyle and having trouble saying good bye to it...

a reply to: Bluesma

The amount of calories you ingest is relative to body size. If your a small person 1100 calories can be a standard amount for a steady diet. Therefore you would have to cut back more in order to lose weight via that means or increase activity. I guess what I'm saying is if you 4ft 2, and 110 lbs it will be harder for you to lose on 1100 calories then some dude that is 6ft 5 300 lbs.

Chris

a reply to: Bluesma

If your only eating 1100 calories a day, then you've probably put your body into starvation mode... your bodies probably desperately trying to hold onto everything it has, you'll also most likely just pack more weight on than what you already had, as soon you start eating normally again.

You'd be better off eating 1800 calories a day well doing lots of exercise.. imo.

Keep working, you're doing great. My wife is going thru the same thing right now. I think they say 1-2 lbs a week is generally good weight loss management. It sucks that it takes such little time and effort to gain the weight but 4-5x longer to lose it. Also, weight is just a number. Ignore that number.

Example...I should be about 190 lbs according to "the guide" of ideal weight. I'm 235 lbs and my Dr said I'm not overweight by any means but I still could afford to get down another 10-15 lbs. So for my body type the 220 lb range is where I should be.

4lbs is good, don't be hard on yourself. Judge it in another 3 months and don't weigh yourself too regularly.
You need to do some resistance training too as this can help burn fat faster and for longer periods than cardio or just cardio.
Keep going and don't get too frustrated by it... keep with the healthy eating and keep exercising and you WILL get the results you want.

originally posted by: MisterSpock
With all that healthy eating, and exercise, how do you feel?

I'd think you would feel pretty damn good, energetic and happier.

I did, for a while. It's just been in the last two days that I suddenly feel so pissed off. I'm getting in touch with my body again, I'm flexible again, my thighs have never been so muscular!
I don't know. I guess I am getting impatient. And I understand that I have to keep these eating habits all my life, it isn't a matter of dieting in the strict sense of the term - but a lifestyle change.

But that is what gets my mind on a negative roll . I can't go out to restaurants anymore, can't enjoy dinner parties with our friends, and am still too fat to go dancing. I like doing my exercise - I live in a mountainous region, where it is all sharp slopes and running here is beautiful! But that, like everything I can do, is alone. No one in my family will go running or hiking with me, or to the gym.

I feel like I am trading in exchange with others around me for a self centered obsession with my weight.
I kept thinking - if I could get it down again, then I could have fun with others again. But I think I am just realizing that won't happen.

I'm in france, people make eating the center of all social life! Wine, cheese, bread..... quit those and you step out of the community!

Also...eat many many small meals a day. Like 6-7 times a day. Eat a nice healthy breakfast, mid morning snack eat some yogurt or cheese.

a reply to: Bluesma

My 2 cents would be--taking estrogen, if that's what your hormone therapy consists of, is more than likely going to cause weight gain.

I don't know what kind of hormone therapy you are taking but beware of pharma-type. There's a wealth of info on the Internet concerning how to balance hormones more naturally. One has to experiment.

The menopausal body can be a shock and awe horror.

originally posted by: camain
a reply to: Bluesma

The amount of calories you ingest is relative to body size. If your a small person 1100 calories can be a standard amount for a steady diet. Therefore you would have to cut back more in order to lose weight via that means or increase activity. I guess what I'm saying is if you 4ft 2, and 110 lbs it will be harder for you to lose on 1100 calories then some dude that is 6ft 5 300 lbs.

Chris

I don't know, I'm 5ft7, and 145 pounds (ugh, there, i said it). I am finding that eating between 800 and 1100 a day seems to be the limit to what I can take. I am afraid I'll suffer too much fatigue with less!
But maybe you're right. I will try to look up more info.

originally posted by: Subaeruginosa
a reply to: Bluesma

If your only eating 1100 calories a day, then you've probably put your body into starvation mode... your bodies probably desperately trying to hold onto everything it has, you'll also most likely just pack more weight on than what you already had, as soon you start eating normally again.

You'd be better off eating 1800 calories a day well doing lots of exercise.. imo.

I agree, it is my understanding that when you drop your calorific intake the body goes into shock and stocks up as much fat as possible to stop you dieing, your body does not understand the modern social world.

Also gaining muscle will gain weight.

If I could offer a few suggestions.

Firstly ignore calories as a guideline, a calorie is a unit of measurement for the amount of energy needed to increase the temperature of a little of water by one degree( I think) how people apply this to food is baffling.

Cut out all fructose. We were never built to have year round access to fructose and our bodies have no "off switch" when it comes to this type of sugar. All fructose is turned into fat reserves for winter time when food is scarce it is never burned off until you are starving. having access to it all year round is dangerous and a lot of people think that eating fruit is healthy but it is not good whilst trying to loose weight.

Also ditch the scales and ignore the numbers as that is that they are, they will only upset you and make you sad and therefore more prone to binge to cheer yourself up.

Mrsnonspecific did this and was able to loose weight steadily and eat plenty of food including butter cheese and cream!

The other thing she did was cut out one meal a day entirely so she was going 8= hours or so between meals as this means you will be burning fat not food.

Don't beat yourself up

I went through a stuck time last year trying to lose 20 lbs. What worked was :
A little bit protein at every meal, as well as a fruit or veggie (fibre).
Nuts and seeds with a little dried fruit for snacks (protein and sweetness).
Start out each morning, before any food or coffee, with a blast of high intensity exercise. If you have an elliptical or exercise bike, do that hard and fast for a minute or so.
And do that through the day as well, go real hard just for a minute.

Also everyone says to eat breakfast to get metabolism going, but that's what the blast of exercise does. I stared delaying breakfast, and just have one egg.

I've kept off the weight for a few months now.

originally posted by: Bluesma

originally posted by: MisterSpock
With all that healthy eating, and exercise, how do you feel?

I'd think you would feel pretty damn good, energetic and happier.

I did, for a while. It's just been in the last two days that I suddenly feel so pissed off. I'm getting in touch with my body again, I'm flexible again, my thighs have never been so muscular!
I don't know. I guess I am getting impatient. And I understand that I have to keep these eating habits all my life, it isn't a matter of dieting in the strict sense of the term - but a lifestyle change.

But that is what gets my mind on a negative roll . I can't go out to restaurants anymore, can't enjoy dinner parties with our friends, and am still too fat to go dancing. I like doing my exercise - I live in a mountainous region, where it is all sharp slopes and running here is beautiful! But that, like everything I can do, is alone. No one in my family will go running or hiking with me, or to the gym.

I feel like I am trading in exchange with others around me for a self centered obsession with my weight.
I kept thinking - if I could get it down again, then I could have fun with others again. But I think I am just realizing that won't happen.

I'm in france, people make eating the center of all social life! Wine, cheese, bread..... quit those and you step out of the community!

I know exactly what you're saying, regarding the isolation that you feel due to your dieting. It's amazing, just how important eating can be from a social standpoint. It's the biggest obstacle I've faced when dieting.

I think that focusing too much on it and being to strict is what ultimately has caused my attempts to fail. I really do believe that finding a balance is the way to a long term change. Unfortunately I've always gone from one end to the other. Being so strict and never allowing any "cheats", to falling off the cart all together. The main reason for that, for me, has always been the situation you speak of.

I know it's probably not the best thing to hear, or think, and it certainly will slow down your weight loss. But, you should go out and have one night where you can bend your rules a bit, at least with your husband. For most that might not be possible, because doing so would destroy the momentum they have built up. By the sounds of it, I think you can do it and not lose your focus and your goals. I mean, you were able to resist those oreo's(I would have eaten them, then went in the kitchen and wrote down "more oreo's" on the grocery list).

Ultimately, you can't sacrifice your mental happiness. You should allow yourself the "room" to enjoy yourself for the sake of your mental outlook and realize that in the end, with hard work, you can have both. It just might take a little longer, but overall would be a better journey.

a reply to: Bluesma

Losing 4 pounds in a month is, as strange as it sounds, actually pretty healthy. Especially since you are exercising, and muscle weighs more than fat. You might have lost 6 pounds of fat and gained 2 pounds of muscle to equal that 4 pounds.

I was the same weight from age 21 to 38 (185 Lbs / 84 Kg.) Within the past 2 years, which included quitting smoking 16 months ago (not really sure of the time distribution of the gain), my weight rose to 207 Lbs (94 Kg.) I had been eating like a hog. Good, healthy food, but eating like crazy, often out of boredom at work.

Anyhow, 2 months ago, I got back to my normal (previous) daily food intake and selection, minus the occasional junk I used to have. My exercise normally consists of swinging children, throwing them up in the air, or home improvements/yard work. I've added a small amount of "purposeful exercise" to my naturally-occuring exercise.

So in 2 months, I've lost 10 Lbs (5 Kg) - I'm down to 197 Lbs (89 Kg) - Pretty close to your rate, and I'm male (so, as I'm sure you're aware, as a general rule, it's easier for me.)

It takes time, keep going, and your progress will speed up, as more muscle helps burn more fat, by it's very existence. You're also possibly in a bit of a metabolic slow-down, due to the caloric intake reduction. As long as you're getting the nutrients you need (and it sounds like you have a pretty good handle on that), your metabolism will adjust back up. It's been wondering where all the extra easy calories have gone.

a reply to: Bluesma

I notice that at different times over the years my metabolism just slows way down, and I just need to give it a jump start. For me, I have to cut my calories WAY down, then it takes about a month to really start seeing the weight loss.

I have also taken cayenne pepper tablets that work, but they can give you heartburn. Eating hot peppers with a meal works too. Yoga is great too, and you don't need to do it very long.