A Crushing Defeat of The Perpetual Cosmic Conflict

This is a memory of a dream I had around the age of 4 or 5. There were no visuals, just sound and feelings, and a sort of communication to myself. This dream has haunted me for years due to the feelings of despair, seriousness of tone and the way it didn't seem like a normal dream.

It starts with an almighty, aggressive celebratory cheer. Like millions upon millions of entities celebrating a sudden cosmic win. I remember likening them to vikings or barbarians. That's not what they were, there was just the feelings of aggression, dominance, alpha maleness about them.

I was struck with a feeling of absolute sadness at the realisation of their victory. I could hear my thoughts as words and used the collective "we" and not the singular "I".
The thoughts were:
"Oh no... They did it... They did it... All that time and preparation and they did it... Now we have to go through all that again... All that time, wasted... Oh no... We have to do it all over again..."

Any thoughts?

a reply to: Ruiner1978

That may be the most portentous dream I have ever heard. May I ask how old are you now? Did you at that early age have any considerations on the deeply existential aspects of the dream or only in later reflection come to interpret it as such?

originally posted by: TerryMcGuire
a reply to: Ruiner1978

That may be the most portentous dream I have ever heard. May I ask how old are you now? Did you at that early age have any considerations on the deeply existential aspects of the dream or only in later reflection come to interpret it as such?

I am 37 now. Yes even at that young age my feelings about it were the same as they are now.

My mother told me some times when I was young I'd be sobbing in my sleep, mumbling incoherently. She'd wake me up and I'd have no memory of it the next morning. I have the feeling this dream was from one of those episodes, although I can't say for sure.

originally posted by: Ruiner1978
"Oh no... They did it... They did it... All that time and preparation and they did it... Now we have to go through all that again... All that time, wasted... Oh no... We have to do it all over again..."

I feel I should also add, this wasted time mentioned.
I had the distinct impression these were absolutely massive time scales. Not just centuries or millennia, but eons.

a reply to: Ruiner1978

Emotionally, these are great concerns, concerns of such import that they must have weighed heavily on a young child.
The very thought that this eons long dance of life can be won or lost is daunting.

Considering all of this as a game, as a battle, to be won or lost on a scale beyond our individual ability to effect is one I do not like to entertain because it would come down, in my mind, that in just being aware of it in the first place would place me at the epicenter of that struggle, a struggle to be won or lost due to my own personal victory or failure. I know that would be too much for me.

Vestiges of your previous life, grafted off this present, whispered in your childlike ear that still retains it's ability to hear. Most of us only grow up in the bad ways.

originally posted by: TerryMcGuire
a reply to: Ruiner1978

Emotionally, these are great concerns, concerns of such import that they must have weighed heavily on a young child.
The very thought that this eons long dance of life can be won or lost is daunting.

Considering all of this as a game, as a battle, to be won or lost on a scale beyond our individual ability to effect is one I do not like to entertain because it would come down, in my mind, that in just being aware of it in the first place would place me at the epicenter of that struggle, a struggle to be won or lost due to my own personal victory or failure. I know that would be too much for me.

It's certainly occupied my thoughts from time to time over the years.

The very thought that this eons long dance of life can be won or lost is daunting.

This quote doesn't seem right in relation to the dream and I think I'm gonna have difficulty in explaining lol
I don't think it was the dance of life that was won or lost. The conflict was of something else. Something above life? Gah! I don't know... I'm probably over thinking it now. I'm not even sure if what the conflict actually was was important. I think it's more to do with losing sight of what's happening and letting them win. Like, forgetting what we're supposed to be doing and being massively set back, but regardless, it all carries on, and on, and on.

originally posted by: kenzohattori69
Vestiges of your previous life, grafted off this present, whispered in your childlike ear that still retains it's ability to hear. Most of us only grow up in the bad ways.

Past life memory?
I have wondered about that.
It felt more like a memory from inbetween lives though maybe...

a reply to: Ruiner1978

Thoughts of a popular movie in your dream, maybe?


www.youtube.com...

a reply to: Ruiner1978

Then again your dream sounds like maybe you may have been sleeping during a super bowl while your father and friends were rooting for their home team after years and years of building a championship team, only to have the quarterback go out with a broken leg and they knew that the team as aging and would have to rebuild from scratch to make it there again.

Who knows from what level of existence these things come from. For instance the earthly year of your dream is placed in the early to mid 80s. The Reagan administration.There are those who mark that period as the end of hope for democracy due to the corporate control that not only got him elected but more to the way he unleashed the corporate power grab under his trickle down philosophy.

Thing is there is really no way of knowing what this dream was other than very remarkable for a youngster. I do not hold to all dreams being portents or messages or glimpses of some greater reality though I do not count that out. I guess the only thing that really matters about the dream is how has remembering it affected the rest of your outlook on life. Has it spurned you to depression, or existential explorations?

originally posted by: Im2keul
a reply to: Ruiner1978

Thoughts of a popular movie in your dream, maybe?


www.youtube.com...

Yeah maybe I'm Sith!
My father did take me to see Jedi when it came out. Was a while later than the time of the dream I think though.
I see what you're saying though. Anything along those lines could have had an influence.

originally posted by: TerryMcGuire
a reply to: Ruiner1978

Then again your dream sounds like maybe you may have been sleeping during a super bowl while your father and friends were rooting for their home team after years and years of building a championship team, only to have the quarterback go out with a broken leg and they knew that the team as aging and would have to rebuild from scratch to make it there again.

Who knows from what level of existence these things come from. For instance the earthly year of your dream is placed in the early to mid 80s. The Reagan administration.There are those who mark that period as the end of hope for democracy due to the corporate control that not only got him elected but more to the way he unleashed the corporate power grab under his trickle down philosophy.

Thing is there is really no way of knowing what this dream was other than very remarkable for a youngster. I do not hold to all dreams being portents or messages or glimpses of some greater reality though I do not count that out. I guess the only thing that really matters about the dream is how has remembering it affected the rest of your outlook on life. Has it spurned you to depression, or existential explorations?

Wise words. I have considered just about everything that may have been an influence. And you're right, I'd only know if I knew, and I don't. So there is no way of knowing.
As for your question...
Depression? No.
Existential explorations? Kind of.
I suppose if anything it's left me more open to the maybes of something beyond our everyday awareness.

a reply to: Ruiner1978

Think of a war for freedom at the end of time for all time and things of creation against/with creators. To win some sides commit atrocities without looking at repercussions and even though one side wins, really everyone lost. To stop that from happening things begin again but this time done things have de ja vu and can see what is fine before to prevent what had happened. The future is malleable and this time is our time to get it right.

originally posted by: mazamure
a reply to: Ruiner1978

Think of a war for freedom at the end of time for all time and things of creation against/with creators. To win some sides commit atrocities without looking at repercussions and even though one side wins, really everyone lost. To stop that from happening things begin again but this time done things have de ja vu and can see what is fine before to prevent what had happened. The future is malleable and this time is our time to get it right.

Something clicked while reading this.
Even though one side wins, really everything is lost? This is pretty much what the feeling was. Like the "barbarians" weren't really celebrating a win. Yeah they had the victory, but it seemed to be all in spite of something with no actual gain. That's where a lot of the feeling of devastation came from.
Is there more to what you talk about? I find it very interesting.

a reply to: Ruiner1978

Just deals with lots of metaphysics, convergence of timelines/realms, and the proliferation of legends and creatures of myths. Some of us exist across mirror realms until the time comes and even though some would think it barbaric we value freedom for all things, and the ability to feel sad/other emotions, and fight for it. Others want control and force emotions on others.

a reply to: mazamure

Do these ideas have a label? Is this an established philosophy with a name?
I'd like to look more into this but at a loss as to where to start and what to search for

a reply to: Ruiner1978

No label or doctrine, just experiences from memories and dreams. Dreaming of places that aren't here with coherent stories and connections while also meeting others here that share the same thoughts. Looking at various myths and their propagation around the world at the same times and the disappearance of those things. Then also having childhood memories and thoughts and feelings that stick to you that you stop denying once you've met others. You just dig and find the truth that runs true to you and discard other notions.

a reply to: mazamure

I had a feeling that would be the case.
I think there's something to what you're saying. I don't fully understand it but something resonates.
Thanks

a reply to: Ruiner1978

You will find others from the same place with the same experiences here too. I found others, just explore yourself.

Very interesting video, but what made me want to post it is what he says about "The 4th Stage of the Dreaming Period" around the 23 minute mark.
What he says seems very weirdly familiar to me...