Not responding as a debate strategy.

So, over the years I have come to realize a common behavior of people over the internet regarding heated debate and even some mild discussions.

Scenario: You reply to someone's comment with a crushing blow of thread ending reality then they completely ignore your response and focus on someone else thus continuing their perceived belief of reality.


I have seen this play out with every form of social media and forum based platforms all over the Internet. Is this some kind of psychological defense mechanism or am I just assuming to much? Anyone else ever see this behavior?

a reply to: BIGPoJo

Oh yea. The old ignore the elephant in the room tactic. They hope to suppress any dissent, bury your response, and continue with their perceived view of reality. I see it a lot.

ETA: Not sure if it is a defense mechanism or a lack of being able to debate or counter the fact you made them irrelevant.

What makes you think you are in a debate?

People sometimes are happy by exposing their ideas, not going to reply to you to death, why would they do that?

originally posted by: spirit_horse
a reply to: BIGPoJo

Oh yea. The old ignore the elephant in the room tactic. They hope to suppress any dissent, bury your response, and continue with their perceived view of reality. I see it a lot.

ETA: Not sure if it is a defense mechanism or a lack of being able to debate or counter the fact you made them irrelevant.

Exactly, I will provide a demonstration right now. See the post above mine? I don't.

originally posted by: BIGPoJo

Exactly, I will provide a demonstration right now. See the post above mine? I don't.

LOL! Perfect example there.

originally posted by: Indigent
What makes you think you are in a debate?

People sometimes are happy by exposing their ideas, not going to reply to you to death, why would they do that?

True, sometimes I think the OP is so silly I reply to a reply to the OP.

a reply to: BIGPoJo

Here are some amazing tactics that I just found.

Chapter 35. Responding to Opposition

a reply to: reldra

I find ironic that he says this

Scenario: You reply to someone's comment with a crushing blow of thread ending reality then they completely ignore your response and focus on someone else thus continuing their perceived belief of reality.

And then chose to ignore my comment to set an example

originally posted by: Indigent
a reply to: reldra

I find ironic that he says this

Scenario: You reply to someone's comment with a crushing blow of thread ending reality then they completely ignore your response and focus on someone else thus continuing their perceived belief of reality.

And then chose to ignore my comment to set an example

Ahh, see it is a debate. I see I triggered you.

a reply to: BIGPoJo

Oh hey there!, no I said all I wanted to say with this

a reply to: BIGPoJo

Don't interact with them in discussion like that again. Simple. Happens to me from time to time. Although ATSers are not prone to too much of that in my experience.

But not responding IS a valid "strategy". Either what someone says has nothing of value to respond to, or you just feel the point has gone on long enough (im not fond of saying the same things over and over).

a reply to: Indigent

You were the opposition to my idea in the OP, I knew that one of the first people responding would be opposition and already had a strategy to counter it. Sorry I had to set an example but I think it supports my idea. Feel free not to respond.

There comes a time when some people yi are arguing with show no capacity to think or see another understanding
You just lose interest
The crushing blow you describe may be a wake up call that the responder that it's not worth commenting any more


I have made comments, seen replys to mine and figured the horse was dead and no response would offe any more validity

I know of a few people on ats who don't have the capacity stop and think, see through some one else's eyes and accept a differing opinion, belief or understanding

What I don't understand is how you can think your crushing blow is so crushing when it may just be a slight deflection

I have argued with ghost on a few occasions, he thinks he has struck many crushing blows I am sure
Problem is the solution offered is only a band aid to a larger issue he knows only to reject confronting

In my opinion his argument is invalid because he won't address the main issue

You only see your argument and your own opinion, it's based on self assessment

Good chance your crushing blow has no weight in light of issues you ignore

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

Agreed, those are good examples of not responding. The one type of response that intrigues me is the "don't respond to the elephant in the room". I believe it is caused by two things, a subconscious defense mechanism or a decision not to respond to a strong counter argument.

originally posted by: Raggedyman
...

The crushing blow you describe may be a wake up call that the responder that it's not worth commenting any more

...

What I don't understand is how you can think your crushing blow is so crushing when it may just be a slight deflection

...

You only see your argument and your own opinion, it's based on self assessment

...

These are great points. I think the last two may be more true in most cases.

a reply to: BIGPoJo

And also I figure sometimes I am not welcome in the thread or its gone off topic to much.
I make a conscious decision not to go back

It's not about me winning, just offering a personal view of why I choose an opposing position

a reply to: BIGPoJo

Thats someone who is not out for truth. If you're not out for truth, you're out for an agenda (even though the loaded term "agenda" may actually be a bit of hyperbole for what really is happening).

I try to avoid that kind of discussion, unless it is solely for the sake of the audience. In that case, I may walk away from the conversation suddenly and without any obvious reason (as it is more of a practice in entertainment, and I don't always have time to be entertained).

I can agree with you on the gist of your OP. Banging your head against the wall is absolutely painful.

originally posted by: Indigent
a reply to: reldra

I find ironic that he says this

Scenario: You reply to someone's comment with a crushing blow of thread ending reality then they completely ignore your response and focus on someone else thus continuing their perceived belief of reality.

And then chose to ignore my comment to set an example

It is ironic and I can count on 1 hand the amount of people that can consistently deal that 'crushing blow' and they pick and choose what they reply to.

originally posted by: BIGPoJo
a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

Agreed, those are good examples of not responding. The one type of response that intrigues me is the "don't respond to the elephant in the room". I believe it is caused by two things, a subconscious defense mechanism or a decision not to respond to a strong counter argument.

Elephant in the room? I will always reply to or post about it. Some debate styles are different, they answer you slowly and then kill you in the end lol.

You are debating about debating. To me, that rhymes with another word. An exercise in self gratification.

To be fair, sometimes we just don't see the responses. Or someone else triggered something in us & that "warrants" a higher priority. Or people are busy and don't have time for a long "fight" over the internet (que the "I''m sorry honey, I can't come to bed because someone's wrong on the internet" meme). Or maybe we already answered that point, repeated ourselves in a follow up reply, and now feel like we're wasting time or going in circles. Of course, there's always the possibility that we got "crushed" by the post in question and ran away lol.

Then again, I've had a few people that I originally respected say some really horrible stuff; so horrible that I didn't even want to associate with them anymore. So I took a few days away from them in order to compose myself & "get over it". Some time's it's best not to say anything at all, rather than make a situation worse out of anger. So something like that could be happening too, especially if it's a heated "debate".