Would MLK Support This? Father's Rights

Who are the real second class citizens today? Father's predominantly pay child support, see their kids the least, and are constantly criticized with demeaning labels.

I would never want to undermine MLK's cause, but I can't help but think; if he were alive today, wouldn't he be speaking up about these atrocities?

The way the family court system works is a disgrace.

The courts are openly and shamelessly biased against fathers.

I know several women who don't give a damn about the children's happiness, only what the kids can do for them.

" I know you'd be happier living at your dad's but, then I wouldn't get MY money."

Hey moms, if you live on child support and welfare, you don't support your kids, your kids support you.
Also, you're a bum.

These are the real deadbeats, not dads.

Watch, over the next few months as tax returns come in, all the egg donors buying new phones, cars, and clothes while the kids don't get squat.

Child support is set up to be just a touch more than you can actually pay so you're always in debt and family court records are closed, so you have a nation of rogue magistrates and judges making up whatever rules they want as they go along.

a reply to: ghostrager

the only rights you have are the ones you can financially afford to defend.

even if you have the finances to defend yourself, when it comes to family law the father has little to no voice.

it's a shame really. the family law court system in the united states is broken. there are a lot of ideas on how to turn it around. some of the ideas i hear:

- primary guardian of the children take full responsibility with no compensation from the non custodial parent.

- if a spouse can prove an affair, then the wayward spouse gets nothing. proof would consist of cell phone records, photographs of the wayward and the affair partner together, social media posts, emails, texts, etc.

- cap the amount the family court system can charge for any family court dispute. attorney fees capped too.

- a jury should be a part of the family court system.

- no one should go to jail for failure to pay the monthly support

- cap the monthly support to $25 per child.

a reply to: subfab

a couple more ideas i have heard over the years....

- no one should lose their passport due to inability to pay the monthly support

- no one should lose their driver licence due to inability to pay the monthly support

originally posted by: abe froman
The way the family court system works is a disgrace.

The courts are openly and shamelessly biased against fathers.

I know several women who don't give a damn about the children's happiness, only what the kids can do for them.

" I know you'd be happier living at your dad's but, then I wouldn't get MY money."

Hey moms, if you live on child support and welfare, you don't support your kids, your kids support you.
Also, you're a bum.

These are the real deadbeats, not dads.

The courts used to be, not so much anymore. Some younger moms might me on welfare due to a husband in jail or beating her. He was the primary breadwinner, she was the primary caretaker.

It is not so cut and dry in courts now. However, the amount of absent fathers still trying to not pay up I think is the same.

LOL. Even after my ex husband was making 10x as much as he could pay (he went to technical college, I co signed for the loan- I really should have gone back for a graduate degree, I was the smart one.) he fought tooth and nail over child support. We divorced when she was 5.

Then, when he remarried, he decided to fight for custody, his new wife didn't like him paying child support. Our daughter was 16 by then. He hired a former Senator as his attorney. Sure, he was just destitute I imagine.

My mother is an attorney, but she was terminally ill by that time, I had to find someone else.

I am so tired of this 'Men's right's movement'. It should be called "I don;t want to pay child support, I want a sports car".

I am pretty sure MLK would not be behind this 'Father's Rights Movement' especially in regard to Black women. He would have laughed his a** off.


He would have said pay up, man up and let that mother raise her children. Can someone give an argument that he wouldn't have said that?

I am so tired of this 'Men's right's movement'. It should be called "I don;t want to pay child support, I want a sports car".

Why? Women have been protesting for equal rights for decades, it's high time men got equal treatment in the courts. My own case is just the opposite of your's. My ex told the court I had abandoned them, when I have left town to work. The area we lived in was in a slump, no jobs to be had, so when I did find one, it was in Nashville. She lied to the court, got sole custody and then lied again, saying I still was making 10X what I was actually making, so child support was set at an outrageous amount. I had to hire a lawyer to get it all straightened out and even when I proved she was lying, the court ignored it. Finally got "justice" years later. When I became disabled, my kids got an stipend, which was a percentage of mine. When I told the ex my son was getting a lump sum of $6,000 [ Back pay ] and $500 a month, she actually squealed with excitement, turned to her new hubby and said "We can go so many places now', then started babbling about how they were going to spend the money, none of them included my son. I talked to, [ here's the good part ] Social Security, explained the situation and the guy I talked to said it was a common story. He called her and explained that she would have to keep records, proving the money was spent On. Him and that there were severe penalties if she spent the money on her and hubby's vacations. At the time, they were avid NASCAR fans and would spend my monthly payments on tickets for races. My story is not uncommon and although Your story may suck for You, there are plenty of good Dads out there getting screwed by money hungry, manipulative bitches.

I still say that they should be sharing the cost of themselves each, then the cost of the kids 50/50. Then they should also share in the responsibility of care for the kids 50/50. If one doesn't want to or can't share in that responsibility, then they should cover the childcare cost for the other so they can work at coming up with the 50% of the cost. Their can be one home, for the kids, that is large enough for them and the parents. then another one bedroom. The parents are free to work opposite shifts, and take over the kids, in their home, and well, share the nights that they sleep with the kids, or whatever, or alternate weeks whatever as long as it's a 50'50 cut. and well, if they aren't providing care for the kids, the one little bedroom is theirs. So, well, they would have to share the cost of the kid's home, the one bedroom, any childcare that might be needed to the time that they are both working (unless one is stubborn and just doesn't want to work with the other so that they can work different shifts), the utilities for both, food for the kids, ect. along with their food and ect. One (or both) might need help from the gov't to cover their share of the costs, and when they are considering it, they will go by that 50/50 rule...and help with the chldcare also if the person truly can't work around the other's schedule.

That is what is screwing things up now in so many ways... women are too many times pushed into the position of the caretaker for the kids, only able to work as long as dad's schedule or when the kids are in school.... and well, the employers knowing this will consider them less valuable simply because when those kids are sick well, it will be the mom not showing up for work, or taking them to the doctor, ect. so, in essence mothers lose earning potential when she has those kids. and well, the men are pushed into the worker, working their tails off, expected to provide for that family. employers know that they will be more willing to work overtimes, more consistent about showing up, ect. although in the modern world, this isn't always the care. Moms have to work and provide also, and far too many families are broken.

I don't think much will change until we change our mentality about it and start shifting over to that 50/50 idea. Although men care for kids differently, most can be adequate caretakers. The only time when that isn't true is when the child is very young and still breastfeeding. and women are out there earning money, lots of them. The fact that mom and dad can't get along anymore isn't the kid's fault. They aren't the ones who should be shifted from one home to the other. The house that they are living in is theirs, and the parents are responsible for financing that home...or something just as suitable but cheaper. If the parents can't stand to be under that roof at the same time, that is their problem...arrange it so that you don't have to be. rent a small apartment closeby, but you are still both equally responsible for the care of those kids for 50% of the time.

a reply to: reldra

Lol unless you've been to all the courts and met all the judges then you're well under qualified to make an assessment on them.

And I knew there was something with you and your posts lol. Salty cuz you got kids and passed opportunities to get your degree lol. Take out a loan and finish your sh£t. Quit making excuses about your life. It's not hard to raise a kid, work, and get a degree. But some members of the human race were trained for under achieving...so it's in their nature to make excuses and under achieve

In my case I tried for several years to hide my child from her biological "father",the child
support division would always let him know where she was.He was a worthless,deadbeat
who only supported children who lived with him.
The last time I was still living with him he wanted to go to a movie,we didn't have a sitter.
My baby was only 3 months old and she was fussing during the movie.Long story short,he
called my baby a little bastard,jerked my arm and I almost dropped her.We left the theater
and at our apartment I gave her a bottle and she started to fall asleep.I was in the kitchen
and I heard him say,"now you decide to sleep".Then I saw him pull back his foot and he was
going to kick that baby I started reaching for my 12" cast iron skillet .
He didn't kick her but I left him for good after that.I never tried going after him for support
I didn't want anything to do with him.I hated that child support division.Some men are too
dangerous to have around their children.

I'm going through a divorce right now and just want to be a good father to my kids and it's really difficult when you have no say in the process.
I had to tell my ex I'd shut my business down and work at mcdonalds if she kept demanding an amount that would have ruined me financially.
I was lucky because she found out quickly how the kids turned against her and wanted to be with me as often as possible and we managed a really good agreement after she realized it only hurt the kids when she wanted to be spiteful.
Now I hear horror stories from other father's that aren't as lucky as I've been and reldra your attitude seems like it's filled with spite too and hopefully that didn't affect your relationship with your kid or kids.

I know I hear all the horror stories, fortunately for me I won custody of my son, when his mother and I got divorced. He was 5 at the time. (14 now)
She has a Bachelors degree that she got when we were married. I was ordered to pay half for some inexplicable reason. I have 2 years of college, no degree, as I had to take on more hours so she could "live her dream."

She decided to have an affair and run off with another guy, she was more than happy to leave our son with me... well that is till she realized the man she ran off with had gotten her pregnant and was a raging alcoholic and that she would have to likely raise her new child without his help.

Then she wanted custody, to get money from me, so she would not have such a financial burden, both raising her new child and paying child support for the son we had together.
As I said lucky I still got custody, however she, with a Bachelors and a good job was ordered to pay 30 dollars a week or $120 a month in child support for our special needs child.

I am not so convinced that the family court system is quite as fair minded as some would think. At the time of our divorce I would have been expected to pay her something like $390 a month.

a reply to: ghostrager

Who cares if MKLJr would have supported this...I do.

a reply to: ghostrager

Who are the real second class citizens today? Father's predominantly pay child support, see their kids the least, and are constantly criticized with demeaning labels.

I really don't give a rat's patootie about mothers' "rights" or fathers' "rights." It's about the kids' rights and well being. The only question we need to ask and answer is what is in the children's best interests.

Let's not pretend like all estranged fathers are candidates for Father of the Year. And let's not ignore the fact that single mothers have a hell of a row to hoe... even if dad is paying child support on time.

I have never known even one single mom that kept her kids from their father for personal reasons. I have only known two moms who fought for supervised visitation and only because they feared for the safety of the children. (One was an alcoholic, the other was physically abusive.)

On the other hand, I can tell you about one woman I know who never ever tried to keep her kids from their father, although he did everything he could to get out of supporting his children. He even challenged the paternity of all three kids, and demanded paternity tests although he had absolutely no reason to question her fidelity (except his own guilty conscience.) He also tried to micromanage the funds he paid her and force her to document that every penny was spent on the kids -- despite the fact that by the time the court finally ordered child support, she had been supporting the kids alone for years already, and the paltry amount he had to pay didn't even cover their groceries for the month! I can't even count how many times he dragged her into court to challenge the court orders, all of which required her to miss work and come up with money for legal representation -- and all of which hurt the kids most in the end. The kids are all now grown, and she is still receiving back child support -- and she's spending every penny on herself. Do you think those kids are worried about their father's "rights"? They're not. Two of them won't have anything to do with their father. But they sure love and admire and respect their mother.

I know another couple that divorced, mom got custody, and dad not only paid his child support on time, he often sent extra... on top of that, he also took the son school shopping every year, paid for sports and other extra-curricular activites, and happily paid for many other "extras." He said many times that he wanted mom to be taken care of too, because if she was hurting, his son was hurting too.

The bottom line is: Who has the best interests of the child at heart?

Two young women who lived in the same house and who both had an infant son came to Solomon for a judgment. One of the women claimed that the other, after accidentally smothering her own son while sleeping, had exchanged the two children to make it appear that the living child was hers. The other woman denied this and so both women claimed to be the mother of the living son and said that the dead boy belonged to the other.

After some deliberation, King Solomon called for a sword to be brought before him. He declared that there was only one fair solution: the live son must be split in two, each woman receiving half of the child. Upon hearing this terrible verdict, the boy's true mother cried out, "Oh Lord, give the baby to her, just don't kill him!" The liar, in her bitter jealousy, exclaimed, "It shall be neither mine nor yours—divide it!"

The king declared the first mother as the true mother, as a true, loving mother would rather surrender her baby to another than hurt him, and gave her the baby. King Solomon's judgment became known throughout all of Israel and was considered an example of profound wisdom.

1 Kings 3:16-28

originally posted by: darkwarrior
a reply to: reldra

Lol unless you've been to all the courts and met all the judges then you're well under qualified to make an assessment on them.

And I knew there was something with you and your posts lol. Salty cuz you got kids and passed opportunities to get your degree lol. Take out a loan and finish your sh£t. Quit making excuses about your life. It's not hard to raise a kid, work, and get a degree. But some members of the human race were trained for under achieving...so it's in their nature to make excuses and under achieve

I have a degree. I have 1 child, not kids. I am not making any excuses. What is 'salty'?

It is common knowledge that the female doesn't automatically get custody anymore in many states. It can be googled. I don't have to go and meet all of the judges. That is just silly.

originally posted by: reldra

He would have said pay up, man up and let that mother raise her children. Can someone give an argument that he wouldn't have said that?

what about the men who want to raise their children but cant because some skanky money slut just wants the money and doesnt put a dime of it to use for the child? but yes those men should man up and pay up pffft what a fantasy world you live in

a reply to: Rabb420
that's like saying..
what about those men, who can't keep their zippers zipped, who won't spend anytime whatsoever with the six or more kids they created with their wife, refuses to support mom's desire to work, and then after the sixth or seventh kid decides to run off with his younger, sexier sexetary....

each and every broken family has it's own story and to be a fair judge would have to be treated separately, according to the facts present within that broken family unit.

a reply to: reldra

So, women should just be the dumb little sex-providing domestic servants?

How do those apples taste?

I made this comment, because you are lumping all men in with your Ex. So, I figured I'd simply show you the mirror with the exact same kind of statement you made.


WHY?

My ex decided to trick me into letting her take our eight month old daughter back to her home country of the UK.

And, she filed for divorce there. She got full custody, because I am here. Because I had just bought us a house here in the states, and was cash strapped and could not even take time off from work.

She broke state, federal, and international laws in doing what she's done. I knew that attempting to fight this would take the funds for both a team here in the US and a team in the UK of attorneys and solicitors.

Money I didn't have.

And I was left with dismantling the nursery that I had lovingly made and decorated only about ten or eleven months before. The pain and anger I felt was beyond compare. I simply could not have EVER imagined that someone I truly loved could screw me in such a heartless manner. Just when I thought I had everything I wanted...a family I loved...a house...even a dog...



It evaporated. And I was giving away the crib...the toys..the clothing...all of it. Because it hurt so much to even know that room was there. To remind me.



It boils my f***ing blood when I hear about deadbeat dads.

It boils my f***ing blood over when I hear callous people like yourself make such declarations based off of your own personal experience.

a reply to: reldra



Oh...and just so you know.......



I didn't have the heart to do to my daughter what her mother had done to her and to myself. My ex's family was heavily concentrated in her home town...whereas, as a typical american, my family is scattered to the four winds (relatively speaking).

No matter how heinously evil the act my ex perpetrated upon me was.... I put my daughter before myself.


Yes, you've really pissed me off with your statements. I truly hope you think this over, and reconsider your cold and callous stance.

a reply to: ghostrager

Interesting.

Those slamming men as being nothing more than baby-batter suppliers don't come back to respond to when they are called out.

Interesting.