My Indian Friend, page 2

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

Hi NightSkyeB4Dawn: Thanks for reading and your thoughtful reply. There is much that you've said that I have noticed, myself, in these following generations. However:

I am no longer willing to invest more into others then they are willing to invest in themselves. Watching these children that think their livelihood is determined by the efforts, blood, sweat, and tears, of others, with the most they have to contribute is a demand or a complaint, has changed my mind about what is helpful. Giving too much doesn't help, it hinders and creates a false sense of security for their future.

I challenge myself daily, often without attendant success, to not be "bitter....party of one." And it's quite easy at our age (I am 57) to arrive there with no ill intention, just because of life experience, circumstances and the way others treat us. My daughter, for example, is 30, now. At 18 months, I left an abusive husband in the middle of the night with nothing but the clothes on our backs, and fought for her sole custody for four years, before succeeding. In the interim, he was arrested five times for crossing state lines to stalk, harass and threaten me. And still, I had to hand her over every other weekend for visitations. Of course, she has no memory of this. And I felt it important enough that she had a father figure in her life, albeit informing her of what her expectations of him should be so she could protect herself on said visitations, that I stopped fighting for supervised visitation. She lives ten minutes away from me, and has inherited the very large, expensive house that I raised her in. I haven't spoken with her in four weeks. She displays an alarming attitude of entitlement, among other things. I wasn't a perfect parent, and I fully realize that. But I daily grieve, literally, for the loss of what I thought would be my family at this age.

Having said all that, there is a bigger picture to be seen, I think. What we project, we tend to receive. This is my belief, anyhow. And integrity, to me, means that I remain who I am and actively live my beliefs, no matter what I am receiving. So, I refuse to allow this heartache to influence my solid belief that we must all take care of each other, with compassion, love, understanding, and I believe this is the only way the human race will survive.

Thanks again for your response.
tet