More days pass and the ability to adequately full screen picture of the social acceptable reality has become less available.
I understand it for what it is but ability to engage decreases therefore inability to find entry points to socially accepted reality.
The family I came from and friends around my surrounding location find humor only in my inability to follow their paths. I am happy they are amused by
me but I am having difficulty understanding what is okay for me to observe or interact with the surrounding areas.
For example last night while reading a fiction novel, they main character undergoes a supernatural experience phasing from socially accepted reality
into a separate reality. While falling asleep while reading I somehow phased into that similar reality. Which exists in the dream planes of existence.
My roommate woke me up and begins talking to me about something regardless to the fact I was still in the dream plane. I am not sure how this
Another dream, a drain pipe was able to be used into a portal of dimensionss. There were many many people there and everyone seemed content with their
state of being even terminally ill people in sick beds were happy to be alive. Somebody told me in this place anything you want you can just take
because that's how reality is there. So I took a woman's hand and was going to embrace her and kiss her. I wanted a close relationship with a woman.
But she said no and pulled her hand away. So I understood that anything you want cannot just be acquired. This was just a dream.
Now back to socially accepted reality. How do we know what is real. I wake up every day from the dream knowing I'm awake in socially accepted reality
because I am alone and in pain. More effort to understand it isolates more in the distance even from myself. My origins and originally programmed
functions scare me so I am not sure who I am or what to be doing.
Socially accepted reality is like a strange movie, and attempt to interact would be the same as attempt to interact with any movie. It's fake on a
Why does everything make sense while in a dream but when I'm back in a physical body the reality cannot be correctly parsed. I haven't been able to
explain this in a way anyone can understand it. When I try to explain every time people just say I am wrong. But I keep trying hoping that one day at
least there's one person that says, yes I know what you mean. And possibly knows how to correctly navigate the reality sequences.
Often I integrate socially accepted reality constructs such as religious, scientific, metaphysical, spiritual, political, interpersonal. But in time
failure to integration is frustration because it makes sense but failure to interface between this physical body and socially accepted reality.
So I can either exist completely outside of socially accepted reality and be isolated and ridiculed, or out of desire to escape isolation integrate
functions that are accepted only to constantly be fighting the function to keep it operational. It takes a lot of energy keeping only one function
operational, for example being aware of nonverbal languages. Energy of understanding language is no longer available. I can only run one function at
once. I don't understand how the human species works.
I am gonna go out on a limb here and glean that you are a lonely guy who is confused about why life blows chunks for you right now and also I will
guess you are fairly young maybe late teens early twenties.
I feel you on the dreams feeling better than actually reality and I will be honest and say that I feel the same way especially after a particularly
amazing dream so I can relate to that.
So you have trouble reading others body language and the subtle social cues that others are adept at giving and reading. Again I sympathize there as
I have had the same gig for most of my life and I kinda think it comes from not giving a shart about such inane minutiae whereas for some it could be
aspergers to some degree.
My advice is to just not let it bother you that you suck at operating in society or socially complex environments and just find other things that mean
something to you be it hobbies or whatever.
Also I get the impression you are deeply lonely and in need of some genuine companionship from females and on that I will just leave you with the idea
that true happiness won't be found for yourself just by fixing your social woes and finding a good woman though that will help you alot to work on
Personally I just have given up on pining after dreams and worlds within them as it will only bring you disapointment to think reality could ever be
so elegant and simplistic. But don't allow that to stop you from exploring them and learning truths for yourself in those dreams.
As for social isolation and loneliness I can tell you that a huge majority of guys in the USA are not getting laid or even meaninful relationships for
the same reasons you are not based on what you wrote.
All I can say to that is just to use patience, self improvement, and believe me you will find the answers to these things yourself.
One more thing you can do is look into MGTOW, www.goingyourownway.com... that has been a wealth of knowledge that showed me that it
may not be you who is defective but society in general is incredibly messed up and not treating men too well these days in some countries including
Thanks to stabstab's post, I can now understand your dilemma. I will
second what he has to say. He has presented you with truly sage advice.
But I keep trying hoping that one day at least there's one person that says, yes I know what you mean.
Yes I know what you mean. Given the metaphors that you have used, I would assume that you are a software engineer. As software engineers, we
have to keep track of a vast number of systems, subsystems, specifications, interfaces, requirements, patterns, objects, schedules, etc. in an
abstract multi-dimensional environment. Generally, those same people who are amused at our social ineptitude are completely unable to comprehend the
technological complexity that envelops us like a comfortable warm blanket. If they were able to acquire even the briefest glimpse into our inner
universe, their brains would instantly liquefy.
And possibly knows how to correctly navigate the reality sequences.
Actually it looks like stabstab has a pretty good handle on the reality thing. Me...not so much. However, your desire for a female companion
might be a good place to start.
About 28 years ago I met my wife. She became interested in me for various reasons. But the most intriguing thing she saw in me was my potential, and
selected me as a mate. (Be advised that because of our inability to function effectively in reality-space, the female selects us.) As a human female
she had few redeeming qualities. Other than, of course, being a human female. She has a profound lack of intellect. Comically, it was several years
after I married her that I became fully aware of the true depth of her stupidity. She was a horrible cook, piss poor money manager, and not really
skilled at keeping a job. But she wasn't ugly, and she met the most important requirements, namely: human and female. Now in time I began to realize
that she did possess a characteristic that I had overlooked. She knew how to navigate reality-space!
After her prolonged exposure to me, she began to understand some elements of my alternative reality interface methodology. And because she was already
proficient in functioning in reality-space, she was able to act as a sort of abstraction layer between me and the real world; essentially providing a
bi-directional translation matrix. After a time it's kind of creepy how well she can read me and predict my behavior. Now you must be aware that
this service is very costly. Over the years I have expended most of my income, and a non-trivial portion of my soul itself.
We are still married, but have lived separately for the last couple of years; for various reasons. In that time I have become more reclusive and
interface with reality-space only on an as-needed basis. I can synthesize just about everything I need to function effectively in my personal
mind-space. All except for a certain physical human tactile/emotional interface that, apparently, can only be obtained through romantic or
quasi-romantic interaction with the partner of one's choice. I believe there is actually some research to indicate that humans possess this
requirement, and unfortunately a synthetic substitute has yet to be discovered. I suspect that is where you are now.
Just this evening I remembered a phrase from Ben Franklin: in the dark all Cats are grey. I found
this regarding the origin and context in which he originally uttered this
saying. While the obvious indication is that Franklin is admonishing his friend to take an older woman as a mistress, an underlying theme is don't
be too picky. As I previously indicated, because our reality-space interface is so skewed, people like us tend to be selected by the female,
rather than the other way around. Although some would say that selection process is always the case; skewed reality or not. :-)
I would advise you to perhaps try some online dating services. But go for the real services. Nothing in life is free... Set your sights low, and
your requirements to the absolute minimum. You may have to settle with someone who is far from the standard Cosmopolitan Magazine profile. You may
even want to shoot for a female that is not even remotely in your intellectual range. I think, to some extent, that intellect and reality-space
proficiency tend to be inversely proportional in the standard female human.
I remember early on in my relationship, as my wife's translation matrix matured, that I found reality-space to actually be mildly entertaining. And
being able to function therein was a new and exciting experience, even though that ability was a synthesis derived from her functional abstraction.
Now a word of warning: Be careful what you wish for. After all of these years with the same person, I can only describe my marriage
experience in the same way as did Colonel Kurtz of his life's experiences before his death in the book and film Apocalypse Now:
The Horror!..the Horror!
I hope you find this detailed diatribe useful. I think I understand where you are, and this is how I dealt with it.
(post by Astyanax removed for a manners violation)
Somebody told me in this place anything you want you can just take because that's how reality is there. So I took a woman's hand and was going
to embrace her and kiss her. I wanted a close relationship with a woman. But she said no and pulled her hand away. So I understood that anything you
want cannot just be acquired. This was just a dream.
This is actually quite a deep insight. I've had similar dreams in the past, where I get rejected, or I wake up just before the action is about to
begin. The insight I gleaned from those dreams is that reality is what I make of it. If I have an attitude that I wont be able to find love than I
never will, not even in my dreams, because that's just what I expect. I would say you need to take more control of your reality but maybe that's
stupid advice, I'm really just making this up as I go along, lmao. That's the other important thing, always have a sense of humor, there's no need to
take life so seriously and think everything has to have a meaning.
On the topic of being unable to integrate well into society, my advice would be stop trying so hard and stop believing it's something you need in
order to live happily. There is a certain essence of freedom which comes with being the outsider, the rebel who doesn't quite follow the rules, the
innovator who pushes the limits and does things people said were impossible. Some of the most successful and intelligent people in history have been
socially awkward introverts. Stop trying so much to please other people and stop caring so much what other people think of you. Just do what feels
right to you, be yourself as much as possible, not the person society wants you to be. In my experience it is at that point society will start to
respect and accept you.
edit on 28/12/2015 by ChaoticOrder because: (no reason given)
Nobody really understands social interaction until they're so old that the rules have changed. People either don't think about it or pretend they get
it, as best they can.
After many years of stress, I've developed a personal cheat sheet to help me get through this crap without many people noticing I'm not wired the way
they are. It may help, might not.
Most people are primarily interested in themselves. Ask questions about them and they'll enjoy the conversation.
Speak to people in the language they use rather than the language you think in.
Most people are not listening to what you say, they're waiting to speak. You don't really need to worry about what you're actually saying, just be
sure to stay in the ball park of their entirely predictable comment, give them an opening and be supportive of what they say.
Look them in the face a lot when they speak, don't let your eyes wander the environment too much, once or twice a minute, for half a sec and straight
back. It's the way you show you're listening, it says "I saw something interesting but not as interesting as you. People say look into the other
persons eyes but that's creepy if you overdo it, glance to the persons mouth, eyebrows when they move, hands when they gesticulate. Basically, you're
looking to give the impression that you've never been more entertained by a conversation, you're hanging on every word and gesture.
Occasional clevage glances are okay but staring should be avoided.
Take a half sec to consider their last point before you respond, then ask a question or say something that offers them a chance to expand.
That's what I've got, hopefully other people will have better or more useful advice. Socety is not geared to masculine interaction, talking while you
fix a fence is a rare opportunity.
You'll probably still feel anxious and out of your depth but, with a bit of practice, people won't notice. After a while the initial small talk phase
will pass and you can slowly be more you but, initially, all social interactions basically boil down to pretending you're interested in the person
you're talking to and being, generally, agreeable.
edit on 1205Mon, 28 Dec 2015 07:05:51 -06003107f000000MondayMonday by mirthfull because:
expansion pack with an update to correct some of the glitchy apostrphication.
edit on 1214Mon, 28 Dec 2015 07:14:20
-06003107f000000MondayMonday by mirthfull because: further glitch repair.
I will assume that you don't have any bad mental condition and you are only thinking too much and tend to overcomplicate things and fail a lot. By
doing that your self image gets low and self confidence is low and emotions are low. And that is a never ending chain of suffering, but you can get
out of it, with a bit of will! Just don't give up on yourself! if you won't be your own cheerleader than nothing will get better. Accept yourself in
all aspects - first step. nobody is perfect. Why should you be? It is ok to make mistakes, just take the most from it and learn. Don't deny it
happened or try to make excuses. Accept and learn and GO GO GO haha
Do you like yourself? If you were a stranger and would meet yourself somehow, what would you think of you?
The answer should be positive but no worries if it is not, that just means you have more options to upgrade yourself
drop the traits you don't like. Than something will come to sourface which you eventually like.
try to enhance those points more in your life, always focus on the positive side, but don't ignore the negative!
are you tense, nervous, anxious person?
find a way to relax. Start playing an instrument or find other ways to switch your mind off in creative way which suits you the best.
Is your mind filled with thoughts about what other people think of you?
Try to know yourself better. Find what you like and stick to it. Drop all the nonsense about fitting in it is a waste of energy and it will not get
you anywhere. Be yourself. Know yourself. Self contemplation as a form of meditation can be a great beneficial tool, relax and let the thoughts flow.
It does not matter what your inquiry is just ask any question, stay relaxed and don't engage the dialog with thoughts...just flow. Let intuition guide
you to the answer.
Can you stop thinking even for a bit!?
This is very important and is the main point of this post! Find something which gets you lost in the moment. Still mind is a happy mind : ) It can be
meditation, sport, music, instrument...whatever suits you!
As long as you are enjoying something and not hurting anyone or anything while doing it, what is wrong with that? And don't worry if you like to be
alone, just as long as you are not lonely. If you want company then find something you like doing and find people who like doing it also. If you like
to be alone that is great also as long as you are not bored. If you are bored than that only means you have to find something. Experiment. This is a
great time to try crazy new things. But don't take it too far : )
You have error parsing yourself! And the bug is your mind. Thoughts. Change the flow, find the switch!
Most if not all people put shields up so they can socially fit in this world which is why I find children so adorable, being themselves. without a
care in the world. So I try to keep the child within me alive rather than succumb to a socially accepted stereo-type. My advice to you is to be true
to yourself. Don't let those around you, mould you, into their ideals.
edit on 28-12-2015 by glend because: (no reason given)
Your use of the cheat sheet seems to be a good method for knowing the sequences.
And to everyone with all the positive functions mentioned in reply. Thank you.
If explaining In programming anologies which seems to be the understandable method (I'm very thankful that this works).
Therefore: if the actions of a function that have been changed, if this new change of programming causes a conflict with the other function. (For
example processing nonverbal cues, is essentially new so focus will be on this, and conflicting with verbal function.)
So it all has to be re-written in order to avoid conflicts.
During childhood this is all happening for the first time. If there are no reality conflicts, then functions will not be programmed with conflicts
Traditionally in programming of human, speech/and interpersonal/moral functions are programmed by the mother, while physical, and visual functions are
programmed by the father.
If these are conflicting or not appropriated for parsing the surrounding area without conflict.
So therefore the base human programming of function is almost entirely the result of the surrounding area.
But once the programming and modification of functions is entirely up to the human individual then they must themselves know how to do these
Consider the possibility the human individual was not given any administrator knowledge to modify functions.
Or consider every base function was asresult of avoiding any conflict, while another is to always be in the middle of conflict.
I am saving the functions all of you have posted here in a text file. Because all of you say,I was not given these functions in base order, but had to
learn it later. This is the information I have been seeking.
originally posted by: sociolpath
How do we know what is real.
Schizophrenia is the fragmentation of that which is One!
Thus, everything is Real!
Thus, Reality is ALL inclusive!
The new heuristic is that it's all Real/Truth!
No need to re-invent the wheel everything you think about something!
All we can perceive is Reality!
The question might be; "How is that 'real? Where does it exist?" rather than wasting time with the 'if' it exists!
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