Calm Mike VS The Humpbacked Boogie Man

The sacred oath has been taken. The five must be killed.

Calm Mike, cool as a cucumber, sword at his side, shield on his back, strolls into the village of Gilded Lily. A small village made up of one dirt road and ten dilapidated buildings. The first thing he sees is a young elf girl selling flowers from a bag slung over her shoulder. When Calm Mike sees the young elf girl he has a vision of light emanating from behind the girl and shadows stretching in front of her. The vision quickly disappears. The young elf girl notices Calm Mike's attention and skips towards him. Her grubby dress clashes with the fresh flowers woven throughout her hair. Calm Mike stops and waits for the girl to get to him. Being an elf, the young girls every footfall seems to be part of an orchestrated dance, a dance whose rhythm, is the rhythm of the heart beat of the earth itself.

When the young girl reaches Calm Mike. She looks up and says, her voice in the song like cadence of the elves, “Would you please buy a flower mister. Its almost sun down and I don't want to be beaten. For missing my quota. So please mister, won't you buy a flower”

“Why little sister, I would gladly buy a flower. If it means you will not be beaten”

“I'm not your sister mister. But I'll give you the family deal anyways. Two flowers for one desbari.”

“How much for all the flowers in your bag.”

The young elf girl does some quick math, counting her fingers, then her toes, before replying, “Well I have twenty five flowers, so that is twelve desbari and one desparu. But I'll give it to you for just twelve desbari.”

“I have changed my mind little sister. I do not want any of the flowers you are selling from your bag. But I will buy the answer to a question and one of the flowers woven into your hair. For those two things, I will give you fifty desbari. Take twelve desbari and give it to your employer, keep the rest for yourself. Then, if you sell anymore flowers before sundown. You can keep that money too, little sister. In this way. I win. You win. Your employer wins.”

“Your crazy mister, but what’s your question” says the elf girl as she carefully pulls one of the flowers out of her hair.

“Do you believe in the boogie man?”

“Course I do. Who doesn't. The bakers boy saw him in his closet and under his bed. He told everyone in town. Miss Elenor over at the orphanage said its all made up hogwash. But the bakers boy ain't the only one who has seen him mister. Lots of kids have. But adults don't always believe us children.”

The young elf girl then hands over the flower she picked out of her hair to Calm Mike. Calm Mike holds the flower up to his forehead with both hands. Then rolls the flower between his hands crushing the petals and releasing their oils. He brings both hands to his face and back down again, sadness and fear briefly enters his eyes as he blows the petals off of his hands. Under his breath he whispers one word,”Mahktah”

The young elf girls squints her eyes but says nothing. She does not want to lose the sale. Calm Mike takes out a pouch hidden under his shirt. He counts out fifty desbari and hands it to the girl. The elf girl quickly takes the money and skips off, scared of Calm Mike changing his mind. When she is about ten feet away from Calm Mike. She turns around with a huge grin on her face and shouts, “Thank you brother!”

Calm Mike follows the smell of baking bread. The delicious aroma leads him to the town bakery. An establishment called, Crusty Uncles. Inside Crusty Uncles. Calm Mike finds, a very tall, very muscular, very bald, very mean looking man. The mean looking man is surrounded by cakes, pies, and other sweet things. Mountains and mountains of colorful confectionery heaven. Unlike anything Calm Mike has ever seen before. Crusty Uncles is not the average town bakery, baking plain loaves of bread, as a matter of survival. The sight stops Calm Mike in his tracks. He stares dumbfounded at the glory before him. The mean looking man growls, then points to a sign that says, NO GAWKING. Calm Mike gets the message and walks towards the mean looking man. The mean looking man glares at Calm Mike the entire time it takes Calm Mike to walk up to him.

Before Calm Mike even reaches the counter. The mean looking man begins to shout, “No free samples. No tastes. No giveaways. No licks. No bites. Only paying customers allowed. If your not buying. LEAVE!”

“Brother, oh brother. You have brought heaven to this earth. With the wonders you have shown my blessed eyes. All the riches in the world should be yours. But the world is not fair. Since the nature of this world is cruel. I wish to buy a single piece of your, whatever these delights are called. I will pay any price for said single piece,” says Calm Mike as he points to a chocolate covered cake, with sprinkles.

“Any price you say? Well why did you not say so sooner friend oh mine. I took you as a deserter from the wars up north looking to be fed for a little work. But now that I know your a paying customer…..”

The formerly mean looking man does not finish his sentence. He simply claps his hands and looks at Calm Mike with that, you know what I mean look. The universal sign for. It is what it is. Calm Mike nods his head and pulls out the same pouch he paid the young elf girl with. He weighs the bag in his hand. Then throws the pouch towards the baker of Gilded Lily.

“The whole thing is yours friend brother. For the slice of heaven and a chance to ask your son a few questions about the boogie man.”

“The Boogie Man. The Boogie Man. Everything lately is about that damn Boogie Man. My son was just dreaming is all. It was nothing more than a nightmare. You don't need to be wasting your time with that.”

Calm Mike does not fret. He reaches over the counter and grabs back the pouch of money. He then turns around and begins to walk towards the exit without saying a word. Before he reaches the door. The baker of Gilded Lily quickly says, “Wait!…. A few questions never hurt anyone.”

Calm Mike sits in a simple oak chair eating his cake, the famous bakers son sits in an identical chair across from Calm Mike. In a plain room above the bakery, with the two small oak chairs, a child sized bed, and a small closet that only goes from the floor to just above waist high. Mrs. baker of Gilded Lily stands behind her seated son. Holding him by his shoulders.

“I do not like this. I do not like that you want to indulge my sons fantasy. If it was up to me. You would not be seated here before us. But my HUSBAND already took your money,” the word husband oozing with bitterness.

The bakers son stays quiet. He just rocks back and forth gently. Eyes never leaving Calm Mike. Except when they blink. The boys mother twitches her nose and raises her eyebrows repeatedly. But she refrains from commenting further. Bottling herself up. Letting the hate and anger begin to build toward a future sickness in her lungs.

Calm Mike, no expression on his face. Eats his cake slowly, occasionally letting out soft moans. Mrs. Baker of Gilded Lily's eyes widen at every soft moan. Her body becoming a little less tense. The anger and future sickness very slowly evaporating. Calm Mike picks up on the changing body language of Mrs. Baker of Gilded Lily while taking several minutes longer than is socially acceptable to finish his cake. Which lets the tension in the room build. When the crescendo reaches its peak. Calm Mike begins to ask his questions.

“Little brother, do you believe in the Boogie Man?”

The boy looks up at his mother, sees that she is less angry, then looks back towards Calm Mike before excitedly saying, “You bet I do. I seen him coming out my closet seven nights past, then coming out from underneath my bed five nights past. I was scared at first. Because the Boogie Man is awfully ugly. But then I manned up. Because in a few years, I'll be a man. So I can't be scared. Just because something is ugly.”

“What did the Boogie Man look like?”

“Like I said, Ugly! He was skinny and tan, and tall. He had arms and legs. But only two fingers and two toes. Kind of like the goats old man Taylor has. But standing up, not walking on all fours. He had a hump on his back and humps on his chest. He kinda had the nose of a llama, and he was hairy.”

“If the Boogie Man was tall. How did he get in your closet or fit underneath your bed?”

“Well magic, duh. How else would he do it. There was smoke that smelled like rotten eggs. Then boom! There was the Boogie Man. My closet and bed are probably magic doors to far away lands. I'll become rich and fat off of my magic closet and bed. Mark my words. Mommy doesn't believe me. But I know. I just know I'll be important because of this.”

With his questions answered and cake finished. Calm Mike steps out of the room and lets Mrs. baker of Gilded Lily put her son to bed. When she finally wrangles her son to sleep. She exists the room and walks Calm Mike to the door that leads back down to Crusty Uncles. Mrs. baker of Gilded Lily puts her hand on the door knob to open the door. Calm Mike picking up the subtle and not so subtle signs of an unhappy woman, stops her by putting his hand on top of hers. Using two fingers to gently stroke from the middle of her hand to halfway up her arm.

“I understand that my questions may bother you madam sister. For that I humbly apologize. Someone as beautiful as you. Should not have to put up with things unwanted. But if I may ask you a few more questions in private. You will never see me again, and by this time tomorrow, I promise all talk of the Boogie Man will end.”

Mrs. baker of Gilded Lily slight flustered nods her head and leads Calm Mike towards the second of the three upstairs rooms. A room that is not plain at all. Frilly soft things adorn every corner, every nook and cranny. A small bed made for one person, with a single pillow is the centerpiece of the room. A closet full of woman's clothing is ajar to the right of the bed.

“Please take a seat on the bed good sir. If I knew you had such polite manner. I would not of been so cross with you earlier. I did not even properly introduce myself. My name is Evelyn. But you can call me Eve. Its what all my friends call me.”

Calm Mike sits down on the bed. Eve sits down next to him. Their legs two inches apart.

“Thank you sister Eve. I appreciate the hospitality and the ear of a lovely lady such as yourself.”

“Ha, lovely. I appreciate the compliment. But I am plain. Or at least that is what my husband tells me.”

“His eyes must not work sister. For you are as lovely as all the stars in the sky. But it is not my place to say such things. To be alone with a woman in the room she shares with her husband, while I extol the virtues of her perfect intoxicating form. May not be entirely proper.”

Eve's face reddens and her heart begins to beat faster. She inches closer to Calm Mike, moving her mouth next to his ear. Their legs now touching she whispers, “This room is mine alone. My husband has not had any interest in me for some time. He spends every night either in his damned bakery, making his damned cakes. Or drinking at the pub. When he finally stumbles up the stairs. He claims he can not sleep with me next to him. So I spend my nights alone, here in this room, him in another. Missing certain things a wife is owed.”

Eve then pulls up her dress slightly, exposing her lower thighs. Her eyes shining with want and need.

“If you keep this up sister Eve. Even a civilized man such as myself, will not be able to contain the passion that wells up inside. Beauty like yours after all, should be tasted.”

“Taste me then, tell me I am sweet. Tell me I am sweeter than the cakes my husband makes. If it makes you feel better. I suspect my husband has found comfort in the arms of someone else. So taste me, kiss me, make me feel like a woman again.”

With her confession and desires freely given. Eve closes her eyes and purses her lips. Waiting for the kiss of a man that finds her attractive and pays attention to her. Waiting to be told how sweet she is. After ten agonizing seconds of not feeling Calm Mike's lips on hers. Eve opens her eyes, hoping to see Calm Mike's lips inching closer. But what she sees is nothing. Calm Mike is gone. He left without saying a word or making a sound.

In the darkness. Calm Mike follows the noise of laughter and clanking glasses. Not surprisingly, the sounds lead him to the local pub. No sign or name adorns the outside of the pub. The inside of the pub, is one big circular room. With a single bar and bartender. Chairs and tables are haphazardly strewn about the room. Three serving girls work the room. Taking drink orders and bringing drinks from the bar to the tables. However, unlike every other pub in every other village Calm Mike has been to. No man is flirting with or touching the serving girls. No inappropriate gestures, slaps, or words. No drunk men embarrassing themselves and the staff. With this fact noticed, Calm Mike walks up to the bar.

“Give me a mug of your best ale brother.”

The man behind the bar grabs a mug from somewhere underneath. Spits in it and then cleans the inside of the mug with a dirty rag. Before pouring some ale into the mug and handing it to Calm Mike. Calm Mike accepts and takes a drink before continuing.

“I have heard tell brother. That this is the best pub for twenty miles in any direction. That this pub is run by an honest man. A man who abhors the darkness in the hearts of men. Who runs a respectable establishment with his three daughters.” Guesses Calm Mike.

“Aye, you heard right newcomer. But what of it. If your trying to impress me and win the hand of one of me daughters. They are not for sale. I don't practice the old ways. They can figure out who they love. Its none of my business. My only business in their lives is making sure they be treated with respect.”

“You misunderstood me brother. Though your daughters are lovely. And would make fine wives. I am not a suitor. Just a simple man with some questions.”

“Well ask away then. I am not afraid of some gab. I have heard the woes of every man in this village thrice over. An outsider to shoot the breeze with, will stop me from dying of boredom.”

“I am not one to gossip brother. But ever since entering this town. I have heard very disturbing things about the baker and his wife. That the wife is wanton and that the baker takes joy in salacious acts. I thought an upstanding business man such as yourself could shed some light on these matters. As I am thinking of doing business with the husband. And men such as ourselves. Should not do business with people that are untoward.”

“I am not one to gossip me self. But I do know some things that may help and some that may not. I know nothing of the bakers wife. Except the things my clucking wife tells me the circle of matrons say about her. That she makes eyes at men she should not be making eyes at. But I do not blame the girl. Her husband is a deviant. If I was you. I would not do business with that man.”

“Deviant you say brother. In what way?”

“Not only does the man find comfort in arms, not belonging to his wife. He does so openly and with those who he should not even be interested in. I am an enlightened man. But I also believe what my parents believed. There should be no mixing between the races.”

“So he likes elf girls brother? Is that what you are saying.”

“Worse I am afraid. Even the most stubborn man may find an elf girl appealing. It is still a sin in my eyes. But it is a sin I can understand…. No…. he carnally consorts with dwarves.”

“With dwarves? Out in the open brother?”

“Yes, the man has no shame. Miss Elenor and he could not keep their hands off of each other five nights past. They both left here together. What happened after that I do not know. And I do not want to know.”

“Would this be the same Miss Elenor that runs the orphanage?”

“Aye, it is.”

Calm Mike thanks the bartender. Then pulls another pouch from under his shirt. He pays for his drink and tips the bartender more than he would normally make in a week. The bartender at first refuses, but then reluctantly accepts. As Calm Mike turns around to leave. The bartender says, “You sure you don't want to marry one of me daughters? I won't sell them but I can put in a good word.”

The orphanage is as run down as every other building in town. Its a two story thatch house that is on its last legs. But with the wars to the north. The orphanage will not be renovated any time soon. The young, the weak, and the old, are always the unintended victims of war. However, the sorry state of the building is to the advantage of Calm Mike. He notices a hole on the edge of the roof big enough for a man such as himself to fit through. Calm Mike calmly climbs up the side of the orphanage and onto the roof. Once on the roof he pulls out a small bag from the same place he keeps his seemingly endless supply of pouches. Inside the small bag is a medley of leaves from a very special plant. Calm Mike crushes the leaves in his hand, just like he did with the flower bought from the young elf girl, but instead of blowing the flowers away he spreads the crushed leaves over his arms. Within seconds his bones become briefly flexible. He is able to squeeze through the hole in the roof like a mouse.

Calm Mike silently moves through the top floor of the orphanage. Which consists of one big room full of sleeping orphans, stairs leading presumably to the first floor, and one room with a door. The door is the only new thing in the entire place. It was obviously put in recently. Being careful not to wake any of the orphans, Calm Mike makes his way to the room with the door. He very quietly checks to see if the door is locked. It is. So he pulls out his lock picking tools, again from the same place he keeps his pouches, and quickly picks the lock. He enters the room and closes the door behind him without making a sound. He sees a bed with the shape of someone beneath the covers. He very slowly walks to the bed and with one motion pulls his sword from the sheath on his side and stabs down into the shape on the bed. When his sword pulls out Calm Mike see no blood.

“You did not think I would make it so easy for you did you assassin,” whispers Miss Elenor from behind Calm Mike. He quickly turns around, but Miss Elenor is faster. She climbs up the wall and like a bug crawls across the ceiling before dropping down on top of Calm Mike. He only has enough time to slightly bend forward. But its enough to cause Miss Elenor to land on the shield on Calm Mike's back instead of his head. Miss Elenor bounces off the shield and into a wall.

“What I expected of you sister dwarf thing. Was for you to be far away and harder to find. But you are the weakest of the five. As such, I should of expected you to be touched in the head and a little simple. But I am enlightened. I do not judge you for such naturally occurring afflictions sister dwarf thing. None of us can help how we were born.”

Miss Elenor hisses and snarls at the insults. But her anger quickly evaporates. She starts to laugh as her body begins to transform. Smoke and the smell of sulphur fills the air. Her bones pop and crack. Her limbs begin to grow. Fingers and toes fusing into hooves. Tufts of hair sprout spontaneously over her body. Her back bubbles and tears as a hump begins to form. Her cloths tear and fall exposing her chest. And most ghastly of all. Her face twists and collapses before reshaping and elongating into that of a Camel. A dirty spitting camel face. Calm Mike shivers at the sight. Momentarily losing his ever calm demeanour. Of all the were-creatures in all the lands. Calm Mike finds were-camels to be the worst. Mostly because as a child. He felt bullied by a family camel that took pleasure in tormenting him with its spittle. This ingrained fear of camels, is why Calm Mike was chosen for this task. Overcoming ones fear is a creed of his order.

With her transformation complete. Miss Elenor, the dwarven were-camel, roars and charges towards Calm Mike. Hitting him square in the chest with her shoulders and sending him flying into and through the only door in the room. Calm Mike's sword flies out of his hand as he hits the floor narrowly missing an orphan. The orphans seeing the terror of their dreamscape. The dreaded Boogie man, alive in the flesh. Run around like chickens with their heads cut off, screaming and crying as they do so. Miss Elenor does not miss a beat. She quickly jumps onto the fallen Calm Mike. Straddling his chest, squeezing with her hairy camel thighs as she pummels him with her hooves.

Calm Mike focuses his inner self. Lessening the pain he feels as he takes the beating. He has to take the beating to give the little elf girl, who he sees out of the corner of his eye, enough time to rally the other orphans and lead them out of the big room, down the stairs to safety. Calm Mike counts in his head. One one thousand. Two one thousand. Three one thousand. Four one thousand. Five one thousand……..

At thirty three one thousand. The little elf girl is leading the last of the orphans down the stairs. Battered and bruised. Half the bones in his body broken. Right eye swollen shut. Calm Mike cracks a smile with six missing teeth and puffy lips. This causes Miss Elenor to stop her onslaught of punches.

“What do you have to smile about brother,” says Miss Elenor mockingly.

“I have won”

“Pray tell, how have you won. From where I am sitting.” Miss Elenor looks left, then right, then down at Calm Mike. “It looks like I have won. You are a broken creature. When I am done with you. I will send you back to your master in pieces. So tell me assassin. How have you won”

“It was all fairly easy, sister dwarf thing. Your kind are lustful creatures of habit that feed on the fear of children. I heard whispers of the boogie man of Gilded Lilly from a courtesan in Bellows Hill. When I got here, sister. I met an elf girl. The elf girl led me to the baker. The baker led me to his son and wife. The son and wife told me everything I needed to know that you were here. The wife led me to the tavern. The tavern led me to you. You led me back to the elf girl. Life is a circle.

I say sister. Where else would you be. Even if you were not sleeping with the Baker. Slipping up by letting the son see you, as you were hiding from the wife I presume. I would of checked the orphanage eventually. Or did you slip up? No...Even you can not be that stupid. Did you let the bakers son see you on purpose sister? Did you think you could feed your lust for flesh and hunger for fear in the same house?”

“Enough of this assassin. None of it matters now. I will hear your prattle no longer. You have not won. I have wo……………………………..”

The pointy end of the sword protruding from her chest, shuts Miss Elenor up. Calm Mike looks around Miss Elenor. Squinting with his good left eye. He sees the young elf girl holding the handle of his fallen sword. That entered the back of Miss Elenor, punctured her heart, and exited through her chest. The little elf girl lets go of the sword. Slowly backing away as she looks down at her hands. Calm Mike uses the little bit of strength he has been holding in reserve. To push the small again Miss Elenor off of him and stand. While holding a broken rib he pulls his sword out of Miss Elenor. Then focusing through the pain. Cuts off her right index finger and sheaths his sword.

Calm Mike looks towards the shaking elf girl. His heart goes out to her. But he says nothing to her. He gives no comfort or reassuring words. Hoping things will not go as he knows they will go. Hoping that fate will not be so cruel this time. He simply walks away. Down the stairs, passed the frightened orphans, and out the front door of the orphanage. As he exits, the people of Gilded Lilly are approaching the orphanage to see what all the commotion is about. Calm Mike ignores their questions and continues walking down the only road of Gilded Lilly. Until he is on the outskirts of the village. Only then does he turn around. Only then does he speak.

“The sacred Oath has been taken. The sacred oath has been fulfilled.”

With the words said. Calm Mike drops to his knees, sheds his name and weeps. Not because of the pain in his body. Its the pain in his soul that hurts the most and causes his anguish. The pain he has been holding inside, hidden from himself, since he entered Gilded Lilly and saw the vision surrounding the young elf girl. He lets out all the pain in the form of tears. He does not stop until he feels a pair of short arms around him. The little elf girl followed him and is now giving him a hug. Fate has spoken. What he knew would happen, has come to pass.

“Don't cry mister.”

“But little sister. I have knowingly turned you into a killer. The moment my eyes saw you. I saw your path. I saw the darkness in front of you. I knew it was you that would kill the creature. Not I. I knew what the vision meant. It was my Mahktah. The vision of my successor. You will walk my path. The path of shadows. When I die you will take my place. I have damned you. I should have killed you the moment I saw you. Spared you the pain of your future. But I was weak.”

The little elf girl says nothing. The little elf girl will not say anything for a very long time. Trauma and truth affects us all differently. But words are not the only way to speak. The little elf girl wipes the tears from Mike's eyes and gently kisses him on the forehead. Giving the only gift she can give, absolution. It is not easy being an orphan. It is even harder being an elf girl orphan in the lands of men. Sometimes the path of shadows leads away from even darker paths. The little elf girl then begins to walk down the road away from the village. When she notices Mike following her like she followed him from the orphanage. She stops and holds out her had without looking up at Mike. He takes her hand and they walk away together. Teacher and student. Father and daughter. Down the path of shadows. Into history.

Excellent story! I could envision the whole thing. Looking forward to more tales from you!



a reply to: karmicecstasy

a reply to: karmicecstasy

A flag and a handful of stars.

You have a gift.

a reply to: Athetos

Thank you very much. I look forward to writing more. I figure the more I write. The better I will get. I have more stuff to post on here. I just have to find the time to organize it, then post it.

a reply to: chr0naut
Thank you for reading and responding. It is always a good boost of confidence to know someone, somewhere, likes what you wrote.

a reply to: karmicecstasy

Wonderful! I couldn't stop reading til I reached the very end, my eyes wouldn't let me.

a reply to: kaelci

I could not ask for a higher compliment than that. On my behalf, tell your eyes I said thank you.

a reply to: karmicecstasy

Very Very Cool Story My One Eyed Ogre Friend!!

Very Well done. Very Well done Indeed!!!...

a reply to: SyxPak

Sweet! Thanks SyxPak. Dragons and ogres have historically always supported each others work.

a reply to: karmicecstasy

LOL!! You're Welcome Bro!! Yes Historically speaking, We have, haven't We?! LOL!!
Well there was the time I attacked some of Your Kin, in one of My stories...
It was nothing personal meant against You, I hope You realized that then, and now Bud!!...
LMAO!!!...

a reply to: SyxPak

Don't worry, I do not take it personally. I very rarely play the species card. I am sure you decide which ogres to slay on a case by case basis. That your ogre slaying comes from a place of justice and not a hate for all my kind.