Femininity is too reliant on looks

I've realized recently that when I see "woman's mustache", 99% of the time I don't think I'm looking at an attractive woman anymore. She could look very attractive from five feet away. But, when I get close and I see a "woman's mustache", unless she's extremely gorgeous, she instantly becomes revolting almost all the time.

That fact helped me to understand just how reliant femininity seems to be on looks. If a tiny bit of hair in the wrong place makes a woman lose a lot of her femininity in my eyes, is femininity a transitory thing or am I just too superficial?

I don't think anyone would see masculinity in the way I just described femininity. For instance, Michael Jordan has long been considered to be the epitome of masculinity without having a bit of hair on his whole head. There is no easily visible, naturally occurring, physical trait that could make a man lose his masculinity in people's eyes IMHO.

However, there are probably numerous examples of that for women concerning their femininity.

Perhaps I'm just too superficial.

a reply to: Profusion

To be honest it sounds more like you have a specific turnoff than a superficiality problem.

a reply to: Profusion

The only feature of a woman that would discourage me would be a penis. Sorry, but that's a deal breaker for me.

a reply to: Profusion

Most women I would say have this anyway. Most western women prefer to deal with it. Most of the darker women I have known do some kind of hair removal. It is just the way things are. I would not find a full on tash attractive, like Terry Thomas, lol, but I don't mind the downy hair even if dark. It is actually natural. I have pretty terrible eyesight anyway and probably would not notice.

It is a cultural thing. Men and women between them are making it happen like this. If all women decided that they did not want to deal with armpit hair, leg hair and facial hair then men would soon adjust be assured. Look at how good women look in denim jeans. There was a time when this would have been a right turn off to a man to even see a woman in a pair of trousers. Fascinating really.

I guess a good current example, to be frank, is the pubic hair. Most women in the west deal with to some degree or other, but never used to. Will it be that in the near future men find this as much a turn off as arm pit hair today? Are women doing all this because they want to or because they think men will like it better? High heels are another issue. Perish the thought that a woman would have to cause herself possible future skeletal problems just to please me. I don't give a hoot. Especially I don't want any gender to disfigure, suffer anxiety, etc just because of what I may think.

So guys, you are saying if you saw Scarlett Johansson, Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz or the woman you live with, are married to or love had not shaved their armpits or dealt with the facial hair for a few days this would make them no longer attractive to you? If that is so then yes it is incredibly shallow and superficial. You have been totally socially conditioned. Me, I have smashed my way through all conditioning to make my own unique self and not be controlling others. I don't want to be some kind of policeman having to patrol tastes that were forced upon me and make me a shallow, superficial, conditioned and prejudiced person when I can be free of all that.

I'm not out to put any pressure on either gender to conform. I have grown very sensitive to the fact that we are putting up prison bars for ourselves and others with too much prejudice, too many demands and preferences. People are their own jailors and then try and lock everyone else up in the same cell they are in.

I keep an open mind and never say never and hope that my opportunities are many as I wish for others, too.

it fascinates me that we all have an idea of what we consider attractive, but how much comes from personal taste and how much of it is influenced by a "template" that is built from tv, magazines, or the likes.
For example, there is noting inherently wrong with a woman having armpit hair, it occurs naturally.
but no way in hell i would ever date a woman with it because it's just bleah.
is that a personal taste of mine, or is it just that i have been conditioned to not like?
i can't say for sure.
But i guess in the greater scheme of things it doesn't even matter, we should all have standards when choosing a partner, no matter how unfair those might sound, so it's not superficial, it's just you wanting what you feel you deserve, if a woman doesn't fit that bill, eh, there are millions more.

a reply to: Profusion
External beauty means nothing, if there is no inner beauty in tandem. It doesn't matter if you're male or female.

What planet did you just come from?

originally posted by: Klassified
a reply to: Profusion
External beauty means nothing, if there is no inner beauty in tandem. It doesn't matter if you're male or female.

A playboy centerfold ' s inner beauty doesn't pop off the page.
That only matters in a relationship.

a reply to: Profusion I think most men would avoid a female as a sexual partner not every man but most

originally posted by: Bluntone22

originally posted by: Klassified
a reply to: Profusion
External beauty means nothing, if there is no inner beauty in tandem. It doesn't matter if you're male or female.

A playboy centerfold ' s inner beauty doesn't pop off the page.
That only matters in a relationship.

Granted. And I can appreciate that external beauty as much as any other man, but I wouldn't care to have a relationship with her, if that's all she's got.

originally posted by: watchitburn
a reply to: Profusion

The only feature of a woman that would discourage me would be a penis. Sorry, but that's a deal breaker for me.

My, aren't you the picky one?

a reply to: Profusion

It really doesn't matter what someone looks like if you aren't considering them for dating or sexual relations. When it comes to sexual relations the penis does the picking not some sort of reasoned or logical mental argument.

a reply to: Profusion

In my experience, femininity has more to do with other facets of a woman, than whether she has a little soft hair on her top lip.

Of all the women I have dated, there is one who, but for traits which had nothing to do with her appearance, was the most outwardly feminine. Her every movement, from the grace of her step, to the way her body moved when doing simple things like breathing in and out, was a poem written in flesh, an ode to eroticism and sensuousness. Every glance from the corner of her eye, every giggle, every single little shift in position she ever made, only served to accentuate her femininity and desirability.

She did not have particularly symmetrical (and therefore classically beautiful) features, nor did she have a particularly trim body, lacking as she was a toned stomach, or tight buttocks, as do the celebrities considered beautiful by the terminally ignorant. However apparently plain she might have appeared to some, she was, in actual fact, a person of supreme elegance and feminine grace, physically speaking.

She also happened to have some very soft, very thin, and very irrelevant hair on her top lip. Unfortunately she was also a raging she bitch from hell, but everything else I said about her stands. Aside from the fact that she was and still is to this day, a sociopath with a little lady hair on her lip, she is still, to this day, the most physically appealing woman that I have ever dated as well. If it were not for the sociopathy, I would still be interested. The hair bothers me not one whit.

a reply to: Profusion

A bit of soft hair on the lip wouldn't bother me but if you were talking a full-on moustache and beard then yep it would put me off a bit.
I went out with a girl for a couple of years who had armpit hair like me, again I wasn't fazed as it is natural after all, same with soft female leg hair, she didn't shave them either, bit of a hippy chick.

Personal tastes is all I suppose, I do think women have been almost programmed into shaving legs, waxing etc, my 'hairy girlfriend had a tremendous amount of pressure from other women, in fact she got more crap about it from women than men.
That said a lot to me, and confirmed in my mind that women are way more bitchy to each other about appearance than men generally are.

Natural hair, no problem really in my head, but unnatural fat bodies from eating too many sticky cakes, nope not a chance I'll ever go there, blurgh/gag/disgusting. Personal turnoff, big time.

a reply to: Profusion

All women have mustaches. Especially ones who have a mixed ethnicity. I am half-Mexican. I have very light body hair (it's almost blonde) but my hair is dark brown. You can't see my mustache--unless you're pressed up against my face. But it's not unattractive--it's just a small amount of translucent-looking hair.

What's REALLY unattractive is when women are stupid enough to shave their 'mustaches'. IF they do that, then I agree with you. Stubble on the face of a woman looks weird.

If you're turned off by it, that's fine. I'm turned off by plenty of things. I suggest you start looking toward Anglo-Saxons--but the only bad part there is that they're way uglier than people of mixed backgrounds.

a reply to: grainofsand

what about girls thin bodies who starve themselves? or puke to stay thin? You think that's attractive? Or 'gross' like the fat people?
Not all fat people eat a lot, okay? They could have medical issues. Or an eating disorder. Calling them disgusting is disgusting of you. What do you look like? Are you in a position to judge others based on the way they look or are you ugly yourself? Unless you have some rocking hot bod and an equally hot face, I think you should be a little less judgmental of others' bodies. Frankly, I suspect that you're not attractive. Attractive people typically don't call others disgusting based on appearance--they know better than that.

I've never been fat--I'm actually anorexic lol But I won't stand for someone calling fat people disgusting. I'm friends with fat people. My aunt is fat (but she has a gorgeous face). Fat people are great. They're nice. And people say such crap about fat people all of the time and it's wrong. You're free to not like how they look--that's fine. But please don't call how they look disgusting. They don't look disgusting at all.

You can always lose weight.

a reply to: rukia

I didn't assert that all fat women bring it on themselves or whatever, you invented that.
Why are you so unhappy that I find fat women unattractive?

To answer your question I'm a physically fit 6"1' 85Kg bloke, and attractive enough to pull a fit girl when I fancy it.
...aw, let's all cry that other people are fat. Funny how in sustained famine conditions, or with generally physically active folk we don't see fat folk. They must be a medical miracle lol.
Defensive much?

*Edit*
I am repulsed by looking at people who are fat, and it disgusts me. Tough luck, what, are you the thought police now? Are you telling me what I should not be disgusted by or something?

Still hot.

a reply to: rukia

Rukia...

I know that you are having your own experiences at the moment, and I respect you immensely for fighting the tendencies which come as a part of your affliction.

However, as an Anglo-Saxon myself, I found your comment a little on the harsh side. I know I am no male model, but I think it is hardly sensible of you to defend a group of people with one set of physical characteristics, while bemoaning and belittling persons who happen to be members of another demographic.

Think before you utter next time? Please?

originally posted by: Bluntone22

originally posted by: Klassified
a reply to: Profusion
External beauty means nothing, if there is no inner beauty in tandem. It doesn't matter if you're male or female.

A playboy centerfold ' s inner beauty doesn't pop off the page.
That only matters in a relationship.

Unfortunately, a centrefolds outer beauty wasn't quite enough to keep the magazine running.

Meanwhile, chicks with moustaches are probably still desired by plenty of other men and women.

That sounds more like a personal problem.