Have you ever been betrayed by someone very close to you?

Have you ever been betrayed by someone very close to you that you trusted? Even if you forgive them in your own mind, how do you set aside the resentment of the betrayal?

It just amazes me how disgusting people can be. Like if you can't even trust those closest to you, then whom can you trust in this foresaken world? ahhh it's so frustrating. A stranger doing this, I could understand. But your own blood relative? It's nuts.

I know I haven't gone into details. Those aren't overly important. I'm just seeking some advice from others who have had to deal with a major betrayal and how they were able to cope and or get through it?

a reply to: lavatrance

I have been betrayed many times. I am not exaggerating either.

In recent years it has not happened because I have distanced myself from such people who would do that. It is better to have no friends than those who are fair weather and would betray you.

I see people for what they are. Most people are shallow and only think of themselves at the end of the day. Some are very brave, honest and true to their heart and they think of others, too. I am one of those and I keep well away from the shallow selfish ones.

yes i have. and i shut them out of my life. you can't choose your family, so sometimes you get stuck with an asshole that doesn't deserve your love or friendship. don't have anything to do with them again

a reply to: lavatrance

Everybody. Even Jesus.

a reply to: lavatrance

Yes.

Unfortunately, I am very familiar with betrayal. When it happens, I excise the individual responsible from my life.

originally posted by: lavatrance
I'm just seeking some advice from others who have had to deal with a major betrayal and how they were able to cope and or get through it?

You learn how to Love, unconditionally!
When your new baby is gurgling and giving you the grins as you change it's diaper, he squirts you good, up pne side and down the other, not missing your face!
Do you give him a good bask in the chops?
Smack him?
Punish him on other ways?
Kill it?
Of course not!
You LOVE him, and in that Love, that 'mis-deed' is barely noticed, NOT judged, NOT resented, NOT harming our delicate rickety ego, but laughed through as we finish the job to ease his discomfort!
All because there is no 'judgment' in Love, and, thus, no vain offense to the ego!
If the neighbor peed on you, he might be killed!
The difference is your lack of Love and your egoic/insane resentment and 'judgment'!
Your painful disappointment and disillusionment from your 'expectations and illusions' lead to those feelings that you describe!
If you never had the 'expectation', you would have no emotional problems when your 'expectation' is violated!

Find and become unconditional (no expectations, no conditions!) Love, and be healed of the insanity!

"Do what you know to be right, say what you know to be true, and leave with faith and patience the consequences to god!" - F.W. Robertson

This ^ is the essence of 'Faith'/Love! Robertson calls Us 'God', but call Us whatever works for you; the Universe, Nature, Tao, Truth, Consciousness, Buddha, 'Self!'!, The Great Balloon Butted Big Bellied Bimbo in the Sky... whatever..., they all refer to the same One Reality, the same One Truth!
We Are All
One Omni- 'Self!'!

I feel your pain man, I have been betrayed before but i still make friends and keep people close to me. Let me ask you a question. If your walking and your legs trip up and you fall are you going to stop walking forever? dont give up on people.

I like to tell myself these people are the exception to the rule, most people dont betray you often.

As for dealing with being betrayed I would just approach the person and tell em how you feel if they dont care or get angry forget em, dont waste any more thought.

There are better people out there

a reply to: lavatrance
Yes. The mother of my 2 sons over16 yrs ago. I was lucky as the betrayal was so bad I took responsibility for raising them and banned her from seeing them. It was a tough decision but best for my kids. 1 was 3yrs old and 1 was 7 yrs old.

We have had a great life together and all 3 of us are so close we feel each others pain.

For the sake of my sons I stayed single and still am.

They have never had any contact with her as that was her choice. She was not willing to change her lifestyle and it would have had a very negative effect on my kids. Even her family supported my decisions.

never again as in my book
'there is only 1 thing worse than being alone and that is being with the wrong person'

a reply to: birhan

A twisted ankle is not the same as a broken heart.

However I agree with what you say.

originally posted by: lavatrance
Have you ever been betrayed by someone very close to you that you trusted? Even if you forgive them in your own mind, how do you set aside the resentment of the betrayal?

It just amazes me how disgusting people can be. Like if you can't even trust those closest to you, then whom can you trust in this foresaken world? ahhh it's so frustrating. A stranger doing this, I could understand. But your own blood relative? It's nuts.

I know I haven't gone into details. Those aren't overly important. I'm just seeking some advice from others who have had to deal with a major betrayal and how they were able to cope and or get through it?

heh... welcome to my life

betrayal is a sin

originally posted by: lavatrance
Have you ever been betrayed by someone very close to you that you trusted? Even if you forgive them in your own mind, how do you set aside the resentment of the betrayal?

I have wanted to ask this for so long...

how..



may you find your peace though.. I've become the devil from my pain..

The key here is not getting rid of wankers who betray you, it's not letting them back in your life. Don't be a sap, they effed you and they are gone. Period.

Learn from my mistakes. Since I can, I give you a name to Google. Jeffrey Scott Cantees. Dude is a piece of work. Got a girl to sign marriage papers then stole her car and took off. Among other things. Seriously, look him up. I actually had to testify against him. He had us all fooled. A con man but not the greatest. He got me but I won't go into details as they are not relevant.

I let a few people back in my life and it always was a disaster. Once you make that decision, don't look back. At all. Do not let them back in.

My life is the story of betrayal... As it were.

Unfortunately, people will always hurt people. There are multiple ways to be betrayed and while I haven't been betrayed by a s/o, I've been betrayed by a "best friend". If someone dear to you does you wrong, just know that you can do better and that you didn't deserve it.

a reply to: lavatrance

Yup it sucks.
Best mate my birthday my bed...my girlfriend.
Last to know also.
Took ten years to forgive him but we are ok now.

a reply to: lavatrance

Yes. My so called best friend. She is now dating my ex husband. It's insane and has caused tension with her brother and I, who, I've been dating for almost a year! I'm not jealous of her it's the fact that she was suppose to be my friend and went behind my back to my ex about her brother and I.

I can't even begin to explain how much she and her mother have hurt me with things they have done as of late.

I've had it happen, several times and even if you get over it and forgive the person(s), that resentment will remain.

At least in my case it has. Take that person with a grain of salt going forward.

Problem is I didn't see this coming in a million years. It was completely out of left field. That's why it really seems awfully disturbing.

a reply to: lavatrance

Yes, I've been betrayed by a few. My coping mechanism, although an unhealthy one, was to take time away from the person, whether it was a few days, months, or years until I was able to come to terms with it and heal from it. And since I've had to be around some of these people I never let them get so involved in my life that if they do something against me it won't hurt or betray me.

a reply to: TheSpanishArcher

Jeffrey Scott Cantees.

Oh, man. Putting up a person's name? That isn't cool.