How to Decrease America's Woes; Homelessness, Suicide, Rape, Drug Use, Incarceration. -FATHERS.

I'm sharing these statistics as a plea more than anything else. A child is a product of a man and a woman.

My common sense tells me that a product of equal measures deserves equal nurture. However, with our laws, children are subjected to askew representation for parents. Much of this is because we view mothers as the 'more important' parent. But statistics show a much different view. We can measure the breakdown of the nuclear family and the consequences on our social construct. Crime, rape, drugs, homelessness all have a dividend; fatherless homes.

Unfortunately, there is a reason fatherless homes are so prevalent in our culture. For many years, men were the breadwinners and women were the homecarers. With the 2nd and 3rd wave of feminism, this has changed as women earn nearly identical to men, except for child rearing gender divides, but men haven't found equality in parenting. What has yet to change, is the notion that men are equal to women in raising children. We 'view' genders as equals in terms of social recognition and capability in the workforce, but not in the family construct.

Children are born by two opposite genders, raised in a society by two opposite genders, and may reproduce with their opposite genders if they want offspring.

Both mothers and fathers are equally important to a child's development.

The fatherless young people were found to be almost 70 per cent more likely to take drugs and 76 per cent more likely to turn to crime.

LINKY

Homelessness

90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census)

Suicide

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average.

Rape

80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes (Source: Criminal Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26)

Drug Use

Many of the youngsters interviewed for the Dad and Me report, which was commissioned by charity Addaction, said they had sought affirmation and affection from gang membership and turned to drugs to numb the pain.

The fatherless young people were found to be almost 70 per cent more likely to take drugs and 76 per cent more likely to turn to crime.

link

Incarceration
link

Regardless, there is no disagreement that the majority, and perhaps the large majority, of inmates grew up in fatherless homes. It's difficult to get up-to-date data since the Bureau of Justice doesn't reliably track the family background of inmates. (They also put intact and step families in the same "two parent" category, though at least one study has found the later to be predictive of juvenile incarceration.) The 1987 "Survey of Youth in Custody" found that 70% did not grow up with both parents. Another 1994 study of Wisconsin juveniles was even more stark: only 13% grew up with their married parents

Other Sources:

www.fclu.org...
www.tfgf.org...

Both mothers and fathers are equally important to a child's development. Which is really no surprise as we are raised in a social construct that is made up of equal genders with different functionalities.

How long is it going to take before we acknowledge that having mothers as primary caregivers nearly 90% of the time (in separated homes) is detrimental to our society as so many fathers are denied their rights as parents and so many children are denied their fathers?

Children deserve both parents. Mainly for their sake, but equally for societies.

So many of our problems today can be fixed simply by encouraging men to be fathers rather than punishing them as "sperm donors". I can tell you from experience that the majority of men with children want to be fathers but are discouraged and trampled as they have no social support and are told that their value to their child is only in their wallet.

Fathers working longer hours to support children they hardly get to see will eventually collapse like a house of cards and will take our economy with it like a dual edged sword.

Ghost

a reply to: ghostrager

Ohhh...I hear little whining violins playing foul over the thought that women are truly catching up to men in earning power!!!!


Unfortunately though, as much as I do agree with you that a child deserves a mother and father, and that the father has equal right to being present in the children's lives....

Science is actively doing away with us.....

originally posted by: ghostrager
I'm sharing these statistics as a plea more than anything else. A child is a product of a man and a woman.

My common sense tells me that a product of equal measures deserves equal nurture. However, with our laws, children are subjected to askew representation for parents. Much of this is because we view mothers as the 'more important' parent. But statistics show a much different view. We can measure the breakdown of the nuclear family and the consequences on our social construct. Crime, rape, drugs, homelessness all have a dividend; fatherless homes.

Story of my life right here. Great post. Keep in the mind of others

a reply to: nullafides

Lol! I could care less what my neighbor earns, male or female. I'd just like equal access to my kids.

Ghost

originally posted by: nullafides
a reply to: ghostrager

Ohhh...I hear little whining violins playing foul over the thought that women are truly catching up to men in earning power!!!!


Unfortunately though, as much as I do agree with you that a child deserves a mother and father, and that the father has equal right to being present in the children's lives....

Science is actively doing away with us.....

Science can only survive as long as actual society does, and without both parents, society has started to come apart at the seams.

You're saying kids have a better chance to succeed being raised by both parent?!?!
How leave it to beaver of you,,,

Kinda obvious I thought, but I'm an old soul.

On homelessness, it isn't a crime. Some actually choose that as a way of life. They are free.

On drugs, what… the legal or illegal? The illegal are considered criminal because big Pharmaceutical companies want it that way. They push much more potent forms of "medicine" than one can buy on the street.

On crime? The little people are the only ones being charged with crimes, the real criminals, the ones at the top that are the cause of all the misery of drugs, homelessness and crime are immune.

originally posted by: nullafides
a reply to: ghostrager

Ohhh...I hear little whining violins playing foul over the thought that women are truly catching up to men in earning power!!!!


Unfortunately though, as much as I do agree with you that a child deserves a mother and father, and that the father has equal right to being present in the children's lives....

Science is actively doing away with us.....

What?

It is a proven FACT that a 2 parent household is the best situation for a child to properly develop and mature into a positive adult.

Notice I said two parent. The facts have shown that it doesn't matter whether it's two men, two women, or a man and a woman. It only matters that two loving parents be present throughout a child's life. It matters very little what the earning potential of a woman vs. a man is.

a reply to: ghostrager

The statistics really don't answer whether they are high because of "no father" or simply "one parent". There are so few single fathers in comparison to mothers that it would be difficult to compare statistics.

So, understanding that, I can agree that a one-parent household does have a higher likelihood of poverty and therefore children who may resort to crime or be impoverished.

So... I don't agree that a father in particular is needed for a healthy family but two parents (of any gender) give the child a great advantage in life in most cases. Your other point is valid: fathers need to step up and realize they need to take an active role with their children instead of taking a backseat.

I dont really see this problem where I live( a commuter town) but yea statistically this is a huge problem. and its an average town per household gdp 47k average, average house value 100k. The difference I've seen is when even a screw up guy gets a girl pregnant he gets his stuff together and does what's right.

It is partly cultural, partly individual choices. people who have casual sex even myself should understand if a child comes of it, you should morally give up your time and love for this child. The child comes before you.

If a culture does not understand this, it will fail over a couple generations.

If you do not have a dad in your life(save lesbos) you will likely not go to college and will be in jail. Why? ask psychologist.

a reply to: intrptr

A child does not choose homelessness omg I cant believe you said that .
And homelessness sucks trust me now if you have a place to lay your head you are safe warm dry and loved then you have a home .
But kids need structure.

a reply to: Abysha

Sorry, but arguing that results are equivocal with same sex parents is pointless, and off topic.

Children raised in single parent households are overwhelmingly raised by mothers. They were the reproductive result of a male and female. And socially, most people view mothers as the primary caregiver and fathers as less.

To divert this topic into gay parenting is really futile unless same sex couples can reproduce while also making up a significant amount of parenting populace, which they don't/can't.

In short; "yes", the common denominator in the woes of western society is the lack of household fathers and the consistency in data equals a tell tale sign.

Ghost

originally posted by: ghostrager
a reply to: Abysha

Sorry, but arguing that results are equivocal with same sex parents is pointless, and off topic.

Children raised in single parent households are overwhelmingly raised by mothers. They were the reproductive result of a male and female. And socially, most people view mothers as the primary caregiver and fathers as less.

To divert this topic into gay parenting is really futile unless same sex couples can reproduce while also making up a significant amount of parenting populace, which they don't/can't.

In short; "yes", the common denominator in the woes of western society is the lack of household fathers and the consistency in data equals a tell tale sign.

Ghost

I wasn't arguing for same sex parenting. As you mentioned, the instances of single mothers far outweigh the single fathers. I would be curious to see the same statistics with single father households to see if the difference is specifically with a missing father or simply a missing parent.

I wasn't disagreeing with anything, only broadening the possible implications.

A different perspective on homeless people: (.....one love)

a reply to: Abysha

Gotcha, I misunderstood your post.

The question of whether or not having one gender or the other as the primary vs the other is still futile.

If genders were reversed, children would still be disadvantaged by lacking a mother because they are still being raised in a society equal in genders

a reply to: jellyrev

You said it man. I had my son as a very trouble youth (way youth, I am still young.)

I got my # together. Never even thought about an alternative. I have a family i love now. This world could be so much better just that easily..Granted, it actually is not easy at[t all. But it is simple.

a reply to: ghostrager

Interesting OP... Thx for sharing...

I'm in a bizarre situation I have sole custody of my son and his mother has nothing to do with him and my daughters mother refuses to let me see her....I can tell you without doubt the system is set up for mothers and not fathers, I have twice been to court and got orders so I can see my girl and her mother just does not care. She refuses to follow the orders and does not get punished.... I go back to court again next month to try again,I just do not give up as easily as she would have liked..... I am going to be there for my daughter no matter what the cost is...

I wish there was some equality when it comes to parenting... Fathers are treated like second class citizens

a reply to: ghostrager



This is so on target! For far too long, the role of fathers has been downplayed, and men have been put down, to the point that our entire society is suffering. I have mentioned this before, in regard to how men are portrayed too often on television shows. How many sitcoms show the mom as tough, smart, capable, and the dads as the brunt of jokes? I saw this time and time again, even on some of the better shows. Yet we don't see the opposite. It's not realistic, and it shows how easily people can be programmed.

My husband and I encountered a young man not too long ago, who offered a small ray of hope. This fellow couldn't talk enough about his sons, and how important they were to him, how proud he was of them, how he liked spending time with them. It was truly amazing. What a father should be is what he wanted to be. In today's society, seeing that was really something. If only all young men were like that!

On another note, if only young women understood that being a mother, the right way, means being with the father! Yes, I know things happen. Been there, done that! Sometimes, a single mom is where she is through no choice of her own. I get that. Here, I address not those moms, but the ones that think they can raise a child alone, choose to do so, and feel like they don't need a man around. Maybe the woman doesn't, bu the child does. Children need a mom and a dad, ideally. The most capable mom around can't be a dad. We aren't the same. We each have certain strengths, and certain weaknesses. Even a substitute figure for a dad isn't the same. It can help if another family member, such as a grandfather, can step in and help, but it isn't the same.

I agree with you on what is needed, but I don't see an easy way to get there.

I think there is some merit to this argument, I know I was a product of a broken home, Mother left with out a care, Father had to work like a dog to make ends meet, raised instead by my grandmother who forced pretty much 1940's depression era survival tactics that worked for her as my example. (this lucky twist saved me from a wild child fate and gave me more stable ground on how to do things somewhat right.)

But this got me thinking. When did the decline really start. It was not divorce so to say that was more of a symptom that begat more Symptoms.

May I present a Deeper idea.

Social Security is the cause.

I know gasp your attacking how granny and gram pa survive you evil monster you...

Where were Gramps and Granny before SSI? Usually one of the kids would take them in, usually it was the one that stayed the closest.

In return Mom and Dad both could go to work and support the household while the grandparents looked after and molded and shaped the values of the children.

Then Came SSI, now Gramps and Granny could stay Independent longer and did not need to move in and take over caring for the kids. This lead to the devilish choice of either mom or dad had to stay home while the one with the higher earning power worked to support the household. OR both parents still had to work to make ends meet, but there now was the added cost of someone else raising their child be it a babysitter or day care. After all Gramps and Grandma moved to Texas or Florida to retire and were too far away...

The Babysitter and Daycare would last until the child was an irresponsible teenager who could supposedly take care of themselves, even though not being taught right from wrong by the grandparents. (enter Johnny come lately or Suzy rotten crotch and say hello to spikes of unwed pregnancy)

Top that with the stress of holding a family together with the stress of working and you get a couple of people that "fall out of Love" and now with out the condescending eyes of the grands you get the spike in divorce rates.

Now apply the formula from the OP and you get today's Messed up society.

The only kids who escape it are the ones whose parents remarry wisely. (rare feat at that)

So the cause is not just society thinking Fathers are ATMs who have to Slave like dogs just for 30 mins a week, but also the Ponzi scheme that broke the Foundation of the Family "the Elders".

Two Parent households are somewhat ok, but with out the Elders in the home balancing the Equation and relieving the stress, it is in my honest opinion that A Two person house hold unless one makes enough to support the family where the other can stay home is not even close to enough.

just something to chew on while enjoying a

CoBaZ

a reply to: southernplayalistic

Interesting videos, but you didn't state what you thought about them. What's your take on what you see there?