a reply to: MagesticEsoteric
I think I can understand how you feel, at least somewhat.
I'm not sure that we will ever feel like we do enough...
My husband's family is...well...troublesome sometimes.
My BIL lives with us. He suffers from some physical and emotional/psychological ailments.
He won't work. He doesn't come out of his bedroom much except to eat. He will rarely go in public except to maybe the corner store...anywho...we take
care of him. I suppose in a sense we are giving back in that the taxpayers aren't supporting him although he does receive about 200 a month in snap
One of the other BILs called yesterday and sort of invited himself and family to dinner on Thanksgiving. I know it is because they don't have much. I
don't mind as we usually have always had big gatherings but, since Mom has passed it is a chore for me to put it on.
We also give to as many school fundraisers as we can. They are always in front of the grocery store or having a car wash.
Of course we do the Special Olympics every year. We drop off canned goods, etc. to the local spots.
The Angel Tree is right around the corner and THAT is always fun to do...we love to shop!
Random things throughout our days, buying someone's lunch, or paying for something in line so they don't have to put it back if they're short.
My job keeps us fairly busy in "giving back". Many times throughout the year, we deliver food to employees on shift and have dinners at the main
office. There are a lot of parties and gatherings that we help out with.
We donate our clothes, coats, books, magazines, etc.
I like to think that giving spirit resonates with my children and becomes a habit for them also. Just Friday, my daughter needed a poster board. We
had to buy a pack of them. She took them to school. That afternoon,, I asked what she did with the rest of them (as she only needed one). She said Mom
you wouldn't believe how many kids didn't have one.
I used to /and sometimes still do get mad at some of my family for just not having the gumption to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and get
One BIL is an addict who is facing prison...again.
One lives in his bedroom.
One is an alcoholic who will "bless" us with his presence on Turkey Day.
It can't all be in the way we are raised as all of them (my S.O. included) were raised by the same people.
I understand the "guilt" to a degree. My husband will not tell them anything good or give specifics about good things that happen to us as he doesn't
want them to feel bad or if for instance, he were to win 10 on a "scratch off" they feel as if he should give them 5 of it...
I took care of Mom for years after dad passed. THAT was MY responsibility. Not anyone else's.
I took in my nephews from state custody. THAT was MY responsibility.
We take care of my husband's brother. THAT is OUR responsibility (although we could use a little help from other siblings).
I think it comes down to what a person feels is ultimately THEIR responsibilities on this planet.
I think we will take care of our family first and others as we are able.
I think if more people took care of their families first, the needs of the "others" may not be so great.
Sorry for the ramblings!
I hope something in there makes sense!