Are Multi-Partner Marriages Gonna Be a Thing?

originally posted by: Bluesma

Went to places of group sex, and had no inclination to join in.
A relationship of three just seems way too complicated for me- I have tons of other interests I'd rather put energy into.

That's pretty much where I sit on the idea. I'm just not any-amorous, let alone poly-amorous. My spouse and I have exactly the amount and exactly the kind of sex we like to have. We just don't have that necessary blend of time and interest to go anywhere beyond that.

Besides, it's hard enough for us to settle on what we are going to watch on Netflix after date nights as it is. I couldn't imagine throwing another picky person into the mix.

originally posted by: Krazysh0t
a reply to: Night Star

Well that's just you. You aren't everyone. Try to think about things outside of your own perspectives for a change.

That is indeed me and many others like me. Why should we change the way we think and feel just to satisfy you and others?

originally posted by: Night Star

originally posted by: Krazysh0t
a reply to: Night Star

Well that's just you. You aren't everyone. Try to think about things outside of your own perspectives for a change.

That is indeed me and many others like me. Why should we change the way we think and feel just to satisfy you and others?

Who is making you change the way you think and feel? I'm just asking you to consider that not everyone wants to behave EXACTLY as you behave or have the same opinions about love and marriage as you. Also, JUST because polyamarous relationships exist and are socially acceptable doesn't mean that YOU have to participate in one.

originally posted by: Night Star

originally posted by: Krazysh0t
a reply to: Night Star

Well that's just you. You aren't everyone. Try to think about things outside of your own perspectives for a change.

Why should we change the way we think and feel just to satisfy you and others?

That is sort of the central message of LGBT advocacy. In this particular case, why should polyamorous people change the way they think and feel (and most importantly, legislated) just to satisfy you and others?

I can't tell if you are saying that your approval should be needed for others to do this. Is that what you mean?

originally posted by: Abysha

originally posted by: Night Star

originally posted by: Krazysh0t
a reply to: Night Star

Well that's just you. You aren't everyone. Try to think about things outside of your own perspectives for a change.

Why should we change the way we think and feel just to satisfy you and others?

That is sort of the central message of LGBT advocacy. In this particular case, why should polyamorous people change the way they think and feel (and most importantly, legislated) just to satisfy you and others?

I can't tell if you are saying that your approval should be needed for others to do this. Is that what you mean?

No one needs my approval to do anything, no! As a lifestyle it just isn't for me and I felt I had a right to voice my thoughts and feelings and I know others don't want that kind of lifestyles for themselves either and should be able to say why. Maybe a lot of us strayed off topic as it was about China and what they are doing. That's all really.

originally posted by: Krazysh0t

originally posted by: Night Star

originally posted by: Krazysh0t
a reply to: Night Star

Well that's just you. You aren't everyone. Try to think about things outside of your own perspectives for a change.

That is indeed me and many others like me. Why should we change the way we think and feel just to satisfy you and others?

Who is making you change the way you think and feel? I'm just asking you to consider that not everyone wants to behave EXACTLY as you behave or have the same opinions about love and marriage as you. Also, JUST because polyamarous relationships exist and are socially acceptable doesn't mean that YOU have to participate in one.

I know others wish to behave differently than I do and that is certainly their business.

a reply to: Krazysh0t

OK, polyamorous relationships exist.

OK, we can tolerate them and let them go on.

But it's a big stretch to proceed from those two to the conclusion that it makes them socially acceptable. To say that they are "socially acceptable" means that they are the norm and approved of by wide swaths of society. And no, legality does not automatically confer social acceptance.

a reply to: Night Star

Well that's my point. Some people are going to try something different, they may or may not see that it works for them and that is fine. Meanwhile, you can't relate to it at all, and again that is fine. As long as you don't want to stop them from doing them or they stop you from doing you.

The reason I was concerned was because you appeared to be arguing like the acceptance of polyamorous relationships in a society is somehow going to force you to be in one. That isn't the case. Just like homosexual relationships don't force you to have a homosexual relationship.

a reply to: ketsuko

I find them socially acceptable. They certainly don't bother me, and the people they DO bother are hung up over it due to their own biases. Live and let live no?

a reply to: Bluesma

My, you can sound proper and sophisticated when you want to. You didn't talk this way at all earlier on...

Your own experience doesn't change the facts. But rather than acknowledge them you just ignore what doesn't fit for you being right and insist that you're right because you believe you are. Even though it would, factually, greatly increase the amount of child abuse and other immoral acts. You want to spite society's morals and play in the mud for the sake of it...

This ideology is purely selfish.

originally posted by: LoneCloudHopper2
Even though it would, factually, greatly increase the amount of child abuse

How? Do you have statistics of polyamorous committed relationships that in any way indicate a higher rate of abuse of any sort?

originally posted by: LoneCloudHopper2and other immoral acts.

Like what?

originally posted by: LoneCloudHopper2
a reply to: Bluesma

My, you can sound proper and sophisticated when you want to. You didn't talk this way at all earlier on...

Your own experience doesn't change the facts. But rather than acknowledge them you just ignore what doesn't fit for you being right and insist that you're right because you believe you are. Even though it would, factually, greatly increase the amount of child abuse and other immoral acts. You want to spite society's morals and play in the mud for the sake of it...

This ideology is purely selfish.

I am not into determining what is "right" in any universal way. I do not believe in inherent values or meaning.
I will assert what is right for me, as I see it, and why and how I see it thus.

Your conclusions about statistics are not meaningful to me because of a few factors-

One, correlation is not cause. You have jumped from a correlation to concluding a cause.

Two, context is very very important. The culture something is in, the environment, the pre-existing values and world view, the intents with which it is carried out, etc. all have an impact upon the effects or results you get.

Why do think scientists trying to test the results of another have to be so stringent in their controls??
Because you just have to change one tiny detail, and it can all go a different way.

How such an economically based decision, in a different culture, with different people, who act and think differently, and live their daily lives differently, cannot be assumed to produce the same results.

Sure, it might be tempting to believe we know what is right and not for the whole world and everyone, but I personally consider that deluding yourself. But you are free to. If it feels like it is right for you.

a reply to: ATODASO

I don't have a problem with anyone marrying anyone, but I don't see this happening in the US.

originally posted by: Gryphon66
a reply to: Benevolent Heretic

Thing that interests me slightly about China though ... they're getting more Christian by the year.
It'll be quite the stew to see how the situation evolves.

What evidence is there for this apart from the church's propaganda? I just dont see it on the ground. I very rarely see any kind of church building. There are some students who have been persuaded to join the club but most people I know are not religious at all.

Land is not sold here and so the state has to lease whatever land there is to whoever can persuade them to do it. That usually means money changing hands and I am not sure the effort would be worth it for the church with such a disinterested population. There are areas of china which are mostly buddhist or muslim, but christian? really?

Of course, I could be wrong, but I have christians in the family (not in china) and they continue to come up with ridiculous comments about china and christianity. So much so that I think it must be a case of either wishful-thinking or horror stories whichever is better recieved.