Jesse Ventura Meets the "World’s Worst Mom"

a reply to: dawnstar

Thats not my point

My point was that we DO have a vast number of people with children who DONT parent, enforcing the belief by the gov especially by the MSM "SEE LOOK! YOU cant do it, we need to do it for you"

I think you may have taken some of my post out of context...........

originally posted by: InTheLight
a reply to: Sublimecraft

Why do our young have to learn by trial and error (which can be lethal; physically, emotionally and/or psychologically), let's get education up to par in the household and schools.

Ya know what is a 100% guarantee of life, and it's not being happy, blessed, education, health, peace...

It's death. You will die. Your children will die. Everyone will die.

Enjoy life, don't live in a padded room. You can't escape death.

a reply to: ManBehindTheMask

there hasn't been a child born that has come with an owner's manual. to make things even more complicated is that every child is a unique individual, what works for one won't work for another. like I said we used to have extended families to help out, but well, oh ya, move to where the jobs are, then move again, then again......we are alone!! do these parents just chose not to parent, or is it more that they are lost? My guess is that those you are classifying a just not parenting, are really falling into both these groups.
have you raised any children?? if you have, you will know it not an easy task.

I just asked my daughter why she never rode the new bike the pizza delivery guy brought her a few years ago. She said she was afraid of getting hurt. I asked her why she chose video games over going outside. She said there are no dragons to slay outside. She then said she can't build huge castles outside.

I remember my dad getting upset with me for spending time at the video arcade. At least there we had tons of human interaction. When technology came home, I wound up spending a lot of time playing Adventure on the Atari 2600 and Telengard on the Atari 1200XL. I can understand where she's coming from. However, I built some pretty impressive things in the real world. I need to find a way to make that happen with her.

a reply to: dawnstar

I've said that the white lies and false science given by parents will make a kid doubt the truth. I ignored ALL the advice from my parents because they were mostly crazy.

originally posted by: Evil_Santa

originally posted by: InTheLight
a reply to: Sublimecraft

Why do our young have to learn by trial and error (which can be lethal; physically, emotionally and/or psychologically), let's get education up to par in the household and schools.

Ya know what is a 100% guarantee of life, and it's not being happy, blessed, education, health, peace...

It's death. You will die. Your children will die. Everyone will die.

Enjoy life, don't live in a padded room. You can't escape death.

I agree, enjoy life but when you get out there take with you the education and wherewithall to do it safely, which children do not gain by osmosis.

a reply to: gentledissident

It's called developing an imagination. I killed plenty of dragons in my backyard with my friends.

a reply to: ketsuko

The girls cosplay outside a few times a year. They also write anime type stories. My daughter just prefers building things in Minecraft and slaying things in Skyrim. When I dropped her off at the band room this morning, I told her we're gonna build a tree house. She seemed less than enthusiastic. I collect children's activity books. I'll refer to The Fair Weather and Rainy Day Handy Book by Daniel C Beard.

Our society has made parenting a more complicated task then it used to be. Convenience, technology and the ability to fill every second of our kids lives with activities or academics have greatly contributed to their inability to just be kids. Half of the kids I know are too exhausted to be creative or go run around in the woods at the end of their ridiculously long days or they are so constantly involved with a screen of one type or another that they don't have any awareness of the world around them.

We as parents are expected to constantly hover in so many of these situations that we are looked upon as bad parents for not controlling their every move. Point in case, our dentist actually told me to brush my son's teeth for him until he is ten. I find that unacceptable, he is capable of brushing his teeth just fine. After his food allergy diagnoses he stole a bunch of Christmas candy someone gave us and I had stashed on top of the fridge. In an effort to be sneaky, he doesn't like the consequences for lying or stealing, he stuffed his cheek full and slept that way every night for about a week until the wrappers gave him away. Needless to say that after sleeping with a mouth full of chocolate for an extended period of time he developed a cavity that had not been there at the previous cleaning. Instead of educating my son on his poor decision making and pointing out the unpleasant natural consequences of his action, he chose to sit in the waiting room and lecture me in front of my kids. Not only did my son have to deal wih the punishment for lying and stealing, he also got lectured on personal responsibility in return for the one I received.

I try hard to help my kids to understand that we are responsible for our own actions in this world, good and bad. We can't control anyone but ourselves, and we can chose to learn from mistakes or not. Last school year, I homeschool my kids, my son's assignment was to read the The Diary of Anne Frank. He spent time doodling and doing other things during the time he was supposed to be reading. He told me one day he was done so I gave him the writing assignment that was set to follow the book. He sat and very neatly wrote up a well thought out essay on the very first and very last chapters of the book, and turned it in. To his shock and horror, I pointed out that I have read that book several times myself and asked him a few questions. He realized immediately that he was busted. He spent the next month and a half rereading the book and writing a proper paper for me. We were done with school at the start of May, and he handed me the final paper halfway through June. He learned the hard way through his very own choices, his consequence for that was natural. He has school work to do while we played in the yard and fished and did other things. He missed a couple of baseball practices and a game because of his own choices. There were parents that didn't agree with me because the sport was so important. I feel differently, kids eventually grow up to be adults that need to know that pleasure seeking does not trump the work that we have before us.

People are so rarely taught to be responsible for themselves. I know people who pretty much let their kids run wild with few consequences, but oh goodness if someone comes in tattling the world halts until the parents sit and pass judgement on a situation they did not even witness. It's teaching the kids to bring every gripe to authority instead of learning how to work things out amongst themselves. I love the varied reactions I get from people when my boys run up to me about something. I always ask, are you bleeding or broken? Nine times out of ten the answer is now yes because they learned to work it out themselves. A bandaid and a kiss are all that's needed. Otherwise they are told to work through it or there are always chores that need to be done. Hahaha, they have learned to never tell me they are bored either.

This topic frustrates me so much. As another poster mentioned the lack of extended family makes it so much more difficult. When the only reinforcement you get as a parent are the attitudes of an entitled peer group, it's easy to be swayed. Standing up for yourself and not following the herd leave a person alone in a crowd of people. That's hard to do wihout some kind of support system. But it is possible. Kids need the freedom to roam and make mistakes. They need to know what it is to fall and skin a knee as much as they need to understand how to deal with people around them face to face.

Let's make sure that our kids are capable of making a meal and doing a load of laundry. Let's follow the example of the parent taking her kids to volunteer instead of the parent who enables their child to be entitled. I understand the reasons behind the helicopter parents, but the outcome has already proved disastrous to people. Mistakes are our greatest lessons in life, those who do not learn from them are destined to repeat them.

a reply to: gentledissident

You should try nurturing your daughters passions. Help her find herself rather than tell her who to be. So what she plays minecraft and watches anime! I do those things and I'm an adult male with a full-time job, house, car, girlfriend, etc... I understand your point. I grew up in the 80's-90's and had a good mixture of outdoor activities and indoor. But you need to understand if you try and raise your child in the same way you were raised your just repeating a cycle...

Alan Watts can explain it far more eloquently than I...

See what we are doing, is we’re bringing up children and educating to live the same sort of lifes we are living. In order that they may justify themselves and find satisfaction in life by bringing up their children to bring up their children to do the same thing, so it’s all retch, and no vomit it never gets there. And so, therefore, it’s so important
to consider this question: What do I desire?

Source

Set her free! I'm not saying to just let her go free range. All children need a good foundation. But If she won't build a tree house with you. Build a castle with her. I made fun of minecraft for years until I played it. There is a reason it's the most watched entertainment medium on the planet. The real castles you built as a child in a sandbox are nothing compared to what she is doing in that game. I know because I have done both. Not telling you how to parent. I don't have children myself. But I look back at how I was raised and I value the fact my parents let me be my own person to the extent where my hobbies were my own. Over time I adopted my fathers hobbies and vice versa. Now we can go fish during the day and go save the virtual world in the evening.

Michael Crichton's State of Fear comes to mind.

All felonious crime, outside of auto theft, is down when compared to the 70's and 80's. Most are shocked when they see the numbers.

That said, an argument can be made... Maybe most crime is lower today because people are so paranoid that they take more precautions to not be victims. No victim, no crime, safer world.

That said, the generation gap has never been larger. It's always been said, but truly the gap between millennials and those who grew up in the 70's and 80's have far fewer commonalities than those whose grew up in the 80's with those who grew up in the 50's. The generation gap between the parents and offspring has never in the entire history of mankind been as wide as what we see today.

a reply to: JAY1980

I do encourage her to do what she likes. I understand Minecraft. The redstone computers are cool I appreciate that she's being creative. It's too confining for me. I have 3D progs for that stuff (I'm not a Lego fan either). I don't understand Skyrim. It's too bland for me. I'd rather play Banjo Tooie Or Rocket Robot.

I make sure to remind the girls to write down everything about the stories they create. I buy and make props for their cosplay. Sometimes I sword fight with them.

I'm a much better parent than mine were by far. My daughter wasn't enthusiastic about the tree house because she doesn't want to do the physical labor. She would sit in whatever structure we built and look at screens anyway.

I have manged to pull her and her mother away from their screens to play board games like Splendor and Cleopatra. They obviously have a good time after the initial reluctance. Those are good memories, for me at least. Memories are all we are.

What it boils down to, I'd like her to do things in the real world....where we actually live.

BTW, I made this from Minecraft unfolds for my daughter. Minecraft Papercraft I had to design the base. She was quick to point out that the scales varied. The little ingrate!

And!....Here's a Creeper costume I made for her. Her friend is some anime character. I really have tried to like anime for my daughter's sake. I just don't see any point to it.

Clearly your house is a dictatorship, you have the right to run it as a dictatorship if that's what you choose. To each his own. How you raise your family is up to you, but be careful you're not abusing.

originally posted by: Sublimecraft
a reply to: JesseVentura

Here is a message for all statutory authorities regarding my children.

BACK THE F#%K OFF.

The problem with society these days is not allowing our kids to learn, the hard way, that life is full of pluses and minuses. Now, I discipline my kids old school - respect your elders or cop a boot up the ass - and guess what - my children are the envy of other parents because of my philosophy of FEAR and REPETITION - the carrot and the stick.

My family is not a democracy - it is a fascist regime - and i'm the bastard in charge.

I remember grabbing my BMX at 8.00am in the morning and not returning until after dark. My parents were not neglectful.

Free range forever...............or prison planet

NLBS #46 The Madness of Helicopter parents versus free range parents

I am by no means a helicopter parent, buy I am careful with them when it's called for. I have 6 kids ages 12 months to 13 years old. My kids do play outside without me ( not the baby of course), but I also check on them. I usually drive my kids and pick them up from school but in emergencies, I've let my 13 year old walk my 11, 10, 8, and 6 year old home from the bus stop. The school allows it, and I make sure we always have discussions about safety.

Jessey still in Mexico?

a reply to: VoidHawk

That is the best response.. Everyone learns by being and doing human "stuff".. You never make the same mistake twice. EXPERIENCE is life/living.. It is OK to make a mistake

a reply to: gentledissident

I've asked my daughter to create art and music.

You can't instill a creative desire on someone simply by asking. Kids don't usually become interested in things their parents tell them to do.

It's a weird, perhaps backwards psychological feature, but the 'forbidden fruit' is always more tempting than things handed to you on a silver platter. Make art and creativity forbidden and under a lock and key.

There was a time, when kids sometimes said they have nothing to do. Adults usually immediately started suggesting 'things to do', and the kid wouldn't want to do any of those.

But if an adult was wise enough to say: "If you have nothing to do, then you don't have to do anything", they would be surprised when the kid would come back after an hour or two with multiple pages of drawn story with them that they had done.

Something is ignited in the human mind, when someone isn't asking, telling or suggesting something, but inspires you to find our own thing you want to do and only guides you towards it so gently you won't even realize what's happening, but you're full of inspiration and creativity. No one ever told me to create, but I couldn't live without creativity. It's just a natural thing that happens when things inside of you align the correct way.

By letting your kids just play mind-numbing games or watch anime constantly instead of inspiring them to explore and create, and instill a desire to express the beauty and ideas they have inside of them, is going to be detrimental to their spiritual growth and make them more dull beings.

It could of course be, that those kids are dull young souls that have no desire to create, but I think everyone has some kind of creative spark inside of them, the problem is that this world quickly extinquishes it (I kept it alive by creating 'even when forbidden' or 'when not supposed to', as in tests and such - instead of just writing a word, I also drew a small picture of what the word represents, for example - this was just one example of the first few grades of school - things got more complex and interesting later on, of course).

One hint: don't make things too easy, don't offer things on a silver platter, make the kids work for it and be unsure whether they will get it or not. It's going to be more interesting that way, psychologically speaking. It's just boring to just get everything and constantly be offered and suggested things, while still being able to have all the entertainment of the world at your fingertips.

a reply to: JesseVentura

Clearly your house is a dictatorship, you have the right to run it as a dictatorship

How can a house be a ship?

(humor)

Anyway, I think even a dictatorship, if it's consistent with rules and punishments, would be better than a 'free range' without rules or boundaries, that creates stressed-out, angry, mentally anquished demon kids that never feel safe.

When a kid is given rules, boundaries and limitations (that are enforced consistently and logically), they know there's something stronger than them that can protect them from dangers. Hence, the kid feels safe.

When a kid can walk all over their parents, they feel unsafe, because the parents can't -even- cope against a young child, how are people that weak going to be able to protect the kid? Hence, the kid feels unsafe and stressed-out.

Parents often also burden kids with making them make constant decisions, because they want to be 'kind' and 'cool parents' and 'please' the kid - but they don't understand how detrimental this is to the psyche of the kid. It's like a constant load at a young age, being a CEO of a big corporation, having to constantly decide everything. It's be best if parents just said 'this is how it is' and the kid would have to deal with it. Then the kid doesn't have to make decisions, it's a load off their minds.

Parents shouldn't constantly ask what the kid wants for dinner, for example, but just decide on a dinner, tell the kid 'this is what we're having' and not tolerate any temper tantrums on the matter. Adults are just so weak, they can't hold their ground these days.

Parents should watch a few seasons of 'Supernanny' (the UK version) before even becoming parents, dog owners and handlers should watch a few seasons of 'Dog Whisperer' or 'Cesar 911' (or both) before even getting a dog, and so on.

But people of this world are the WORST possible parents, the WORST possible dog owners/handlers and the WORST possible neighbours (heel walking seems to be a norm for people living upstairs in apartment buildings, as if they're trying to wake the dead, throwing burning cigarettes out of a balcony is also very normal these days, and breaking every single ordinance in human history is a celebrated lifestyle)..

(I could probably rant half an eternity about the people of this planet, if they can even be called 'people' with wisdom..)