The Things Some Kids Do These Days

Just a short synopsis of my life so you can better understand why I initially reacted to what I'm about to tell you.

I live in a small rural community but I work in Phoenix and the surrounding towns. The 5th largest metropolis in the U.S. I drive upwards of 300 miles a day in that "beautiful" megaplex. I put in, time wise, the equivalent of 2 work weeks in one. I don't even try to count anymore, the number of people I see on street corners with their signs asking for money for whatever reason. From being homeless vets to wanting help for the funeral expenses of loved one's. You see them all. If you give a dollar to everyone you see, you'll be broke yourself. You get jaded by it really quick, cop a negative attitude and learn to just tune them out.

Well, I do take days off during the week, and on those days I drive my teenage daughter to school. On the way yesterday I gave her 20 dollars and told her "Don't spend it all in one place". She and her boyfriend gets picked up by her mom after school at a designated store away from the school. According to what her, her boyfriend and her mom told me when they got home, on her way from the school to that designated spot, she see's a homeless man, unbathed with grubby clothes with one those signs. All she can remember of that sign was something about being a vet and needing money. Regardless, she reached into her pocket and gave him the 20 that I gave her earlier in the morning. He looked at her and said "You just made my day Miss".

Her mother and boyfriend were so visibly proud of her, but when I was told this, my first reaction was "You gave him the whole thing?" That deflated the room and I immediately felt like crap.

I did tell her I was proud of her and that she did a good thing .I explained to her mother what I pointed out in the first paragraph here, she understood but said I should tell that to our daughter. I did, everything turned out well and we're all good.

And then I asked her "What did the sign say?" She said she couldn't remember but that "He needed it more than I did"

That's all it took "He needed it more than I did"

As cold and jaded as I might get about certain things, she still has a way of warning daddy's heart.


I just wanted to share this because I am so damn proud of my daughter these days.She knows more about doing the right thing than I do sometimes.

Anyway, you kids have a good day and I'll see you next year. I may have a New Years Day surprise for everyone.

a reply to: InTheShadows

Nice story. I'd be proud of my daughter, too.

I think your reaction was knee-jerk and rather normal. Kinda like my reaction when my ex wife stuck a positive pregnancy test in my face. "Again?" I said. Wrong answer. I was happy of course, but my knee-jerk response was way off.

a reply to: InTheShadows


Good on your daughter. And good on your parenting to teach her compassion in such a way.

Your immediate response is exactly what my step-father would have said.

Good karma all the way around.

a reply to: InTheShadows

A child learns more from what they see than from what they are told.

I am willing to be bet that she has learned her kind and generous ways from her home environment.

I grew up poor as a church mouse, and never realized it until I was good and grown. The thing I remember most, was the kindest of my parents, they always gave to others, even when they had such great needs themselves.

My parents had 10 children, 5 girls and 5 boys. I had never found anyone more generous than my father, until my brother stepped into his shoes. All of us are gentle, kind, loving, and generous spirits, but my brother, like my father, was over the top.

My sister feed the poor in the park every Saturday. She provided them nice, healthy and tasty meals, and she always gave them hot meals in the winter. My niece started helping her when she was two. My sister was so shocked when she went back to the park after being laid up for 3 months, after cancer surgery and treatment, to find out that my niece had continued to go every week and feed the homeless. She never even mentioned to her mother that she was doing it. The baton was passed. Now my sister is the helper and my niece does the preparations and deliveries.

My mother still says, "You have to bend the tree in the direction you want it to grow."

Parents have replaced parenting with friendship. I used to remind my children on almost a daily basis, that they have enough friends, it was not my duty to them, nor my responsibility, to be their friend. My job was to teach them, protect them, and to grow them, and I loved them too much to cheat them out of what they needed to succeed in a world poised to eat them alive, if they were not prepared.

So far it seems to have worked. I am even seeing them using some of my parenting skills on their own children.

You should be proud of your daughter, she sounds like a wonderful young lady. Also, take pride in yourself for a job well done.

Kids...having not worked for their cash (or faced homelessness and hunger) find altruism very, very easy to come by.

Adults...not so much.

Im one of those "cold, heartless" ones. My charity tends to run more towards those who are looking to work for their cash rather than hold a sign.

You raised a wonderful and compassionate child!

I would have probably done the same thing as you all the way around. Looking ahead, I would most definitely have to bite my tongue off before handing over the next $20!

And then he went and spent it all on cigarettes and booze and maybe a cheeseburger. He shall return tomorrow with his sign so he can find more bleeding hearts to give away their hard earned cash.

I used to give to the homeless on the street corner, then I wised up. It's like feeding a stray cat, all you are doing is encouraging them to be that way. I have seen the same people begging on the same street corner for years... even though there are plenty of ways for them to improve upon their lives with programs set up for it.

Your daughter hasn't quite learned the value of a dollar, and what it takes to earn it. Not trying to be a jerk, but I'm just sharing my personal experiences.

ETA: In a lot of places, these are running scams. Some of these people can make up to 300$ a day TAX FREE from standing around begging.