Adirondack Chair...Conspiracy

Now you'll need to pay attention closely here, what I'm about to lay out for you is the grandest conspiracy of all. It is elaborate, cunning not to mention enduring. It is a conspiracy which has been prepetuated on mankind since its invention in 1903. It's the Adirondack Chair

chair

You see, it seems like a simple enough device. We all know them to be quite comfortable chairs which can be fairly difficult to get out of, and you see that's just it; the simplicity is this conspriacie's greatest guise. So the whole thing goes something like this...

Back at the turn of the 20th century the NWO was in its infancy. Nikola Tesla was nearing his zenith in mind control and and complete world domination experiments. The world population was ripe for the taking as they sat in awe of the industrial and scientific revolution taking place before their eyes. Tesla had a problem though; in order to completely facilitate his grand scheme he needed one very important condition which he had heretofore been unable to replicate.

In order for Tesla's mind control experiments to work completely he needed human beings to remain relatively in one place. When people moved around the mind control signals Tesla was generating became garbled from one person to the next. So Tesla secretly met with Thomas Lee (the inventor of the Adirondack Chair) and requested he develop a chair which once a person was seated in would be quite difficult to extract one's self out of. But there was a catch; the chair needed to be comfortable so a person sitting in one actually didn't want to get up. Consequently, a person would remain seated in one place for long periods of time. The Adirondack Chair was born. Now, at last, all the pieces in Tesla's plan were coming into place.

In the end, Tesla's mind control experiments were ultimately unsuccessful. You see, Tesla never took into consideration that the Adirondack Chair would only become regionally popular. Therefore, his mind control experiments only reached a select few. Tesla had also underestimated the power of the human bladder. Sooner or later people were going to have to get up to respond to the call of nature, regardless of how difficult it may be. Tesla and the budding NWO had run into a brick wall. Tesla tried for the remainder of his life to circumvent this problem, but ultimately failed. Tesla's grand scheme ended when he quietly passed away in room 3327 of the New Yorker Hotel in January 1943.

This elaborate web of deception and NWO control could easily end here, but there's more.

What Tesla didn't know at the time was, in the decades after his passing the popularity of the Adirondack Chair would grow beyond a regional phenomenon. Throughout the late 1980's and 90's when 'retro' was "cool" the popularity of the Adirondack Chair grew exponentially. Now days just about anyone with a porch has an Adirondack Chair.

Realizing this sudden change in demographics, the NWO in cohorts with TPTB picked up where Tesla left off with the beginning of the construction of the HAARP program in 1993.

HAARP

Now Tesla's original vision could finally come to fruition.

So the moral of this story is, as you enjoy your morning coffee from your Adirondack Chair on the veranda; sometimes grand, world changing, conspiracies such as these take decades, centuries even, to come to bear.

....and now you know the rest of the story.

Note - For the record; the above theory is likely complete bullocks! The author (me) just wanted to have a little fun with all of the elements which make up many (not all) conspiracy theories.

(ENJOY)

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

How odd!

I happen to have two.
Something possessed me to buy them!

"They" put them on sale too, knowing I couldn't resist...

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk
"Perpetuated on mankind";
Do you know of anyone outside the United States using those chairs? I had to check the picture just to know what you were talking about. Mankind lives on other continents as well, you know.

a reply to: DISRAELI

Ummmm.....

Notice the bold print at the bottom? It's satire. All in fun.

edit...aren't you glad I included the link???

a reply to: DISRAELI

By the way, their quite popular on cruise ships as well. Last time I checked there are cruise ships everywhere just about.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk
So you didn't see any fun in my reply?
That's not what I would have been saying if I had been taking the suggestion seriously.

As a combination of conspiracy elements, it doesn't come up to the level of this theory which I saw a few years back- not on ATS, but linked through ATS;
"The function of chemtrails [1] is to deliver tiny nanorobots [2], which are absorbed into people's bodies and link up to form receivers capable of receiving transmissions from HAARP [3]."

a reply to: DISRAELI

Sure I did, hence the jest in my replies.

originally posted by: Flyingclaydisk
Note - For the record; the above theory is likely complete bullocks! The author (me) just wanted to have a little fun with all of the elements which make up many (not all) conspiracy theories.

(ENJOY)

Dear lord did I come perilously close to going all full-on HULK mode on yer a%%....but then I read the above...

Well done, my friend...WELL DONE!!!

Fail
It's a link to Wikipedia
Everyone knows you can't quote Wikipedia, it's untrustworthy

Surely McDonalds and Monsanto/GMO foods fits in there somewhere.

I think part of the plan was to make us fatter, increasing the efficacy of the chairs.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk If your Adirondack is hard to get out of you are sitting in it wrong. Mine are easy. See, those long front legs are not intended to sit level with the back legs. I use my chairs down at the river's edge where the beach slowly slopes towards the water. The longer front legs keep it from falling over frontwards and they make perfect easy chairs to sit and fish from.
But I see, the theory still holds. Sitting in an Adirondack on the shore with a pole in one hand and an ice chest within easy reach of the other in the other usually consumes copious amounts of time

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

Yeah, let me figure out how to get those woven into the overall story fabric and perhaps I'll add an addendum.

Awesome read !
S&F
Damn chairs.. I knew something was amiss.....

Those elitist easterners are at it again....dividing the country up between have & have nots!!!


en.wikipedia.org...
en.wikipedia.org...

originally posted by: TerryMcGuire
a reply to: Flyingclaydisk If your Adirondack is hard to get out of you are sitting in it wrong. Mine are easy. See, those long front legs are not intended to sit level with the back legs. I use my chairs down at the river's edge where the beach slowly slopes towards the water. The longer front legs keep it from falling over frontwards and they make perfect easy chairs to sit and fish from.
But I see, the theory still holds. Sitting in an Adirondack on the shore with a pole in one hand and an ice chest within easy reach of the other in the other usually consumes copious amounts of time

Nice twist to the narrative! I customized my Adirondack by slicing off the left arm so it doesn't interfere with the neck of my Tele. Also you can swivel around to the left and plant your feet firmly on the ground so when you fall; it will be much more graceful and stylish.

Hmmmm...

I'm detecting a hint of time travel involved here... Tesla must've been tampering with our timelines as well.

U.S. patent #794,777 in 1905

a rounded back and contoured seat, modifications made by Irving Wolpin, who received U.S. patent #109239 for his design in 1938

Why did the patent number for the 2nd patent get smaller even though it came 33 years later into the future

Ah, I see... 33, a Masonic number. It alll makes sense now...

ETA- The contoured seat designed to keep you in the chair longer by adding comfort, and the rounded back intended to resemble the pyramid structure worshipped by the masons. I'd be willing to bet you $100 that Irving Wolpin, at least, if not every person involved in this story, is a 33rd degree Master Mason of the Scottish Rite P2 Lodge frequented by high ranking members of the intelligence community.

Ad iron dack
Add Iron (to the) dack=back (of the chair)
insert an iron rod into the center of the middle plank running up the back of the chair to serve as an antennae to better attract the mind control beams


The chair is said to have been made from hemlock. Hemlock is also a plant with occult/magickal/witchcraft associations...
duckduckgo.com...

How deep does this rabbit hole go

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Excellent post! Clicked on it knowing it was going to be silly (but true *wink*), because I'm actually currently (literally today) working on plans for our Adirondack chairs. Instead of the standard design, I'm building to custom scale for me and my wife. I'm 6' tall, she's 4'10".

This was a timely thread, because now i know i need to add a handle, or hydraulic ejector mechanism.

S&F, thanks for the creative fun!

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

I make adirondack chairs on the side for extra cash so does that make me the devil?