Why does this bother me so bad?

So I was recently looking through a high school yearbook just to reference someone I was curious about from times past, and while skimming through I landed on someone unrelated to who i was looking for who I barely remember/didn't really know well, but for some reason paid great attention to them for an unknown reason.

Some may call this stalking, but I just wanted to see what they were doing these days so I googled their name, and the first link was literally their obituary. When I clicked to verify this, it was the same person (verified by picture, birthdate, year of grad from my school etc) and this immediately began to bother me. This was 3 days ago and it's still on my mind on and off.

And this person also died THREE years ago, not recently. I never heard about it back then and cannot verify how this person passed by doing some really deep google digging. There is no twitter/fb or any other social media left over from when this person was alive. So maybe they didn't have any social media accounts?

I never really talked to this person, maybe I walked by them in the hall of my high school between classes (nearly a decade ago), was from a completely different social group, different grade level etc. Nothing connected us then.

Why does it keep sticking in my mind so bad? It literally has no reason to because I didn't even really know this person at all. Has this ever happened to anyone else before?

Does this almost prove that there is a connection between us all that we know nothing about? I just can't figure out why this struck me so hard and has been sticking in my mind. I've heard about people dying from my High School before, and it didn't bother me for more than 3 minutes in some cases.

Thanks for reading, I hope someone can comment about this.

a reply to: soekvg

I've thought about my teenage years and people that I knew that are no longer in my life(even if it was just a person I saw in passing from time to time). Finding out someone from that period is dead kind of drives home my own mortality and how fast time is passing for me. There are many wasted years and time spent that I could have done something better. There is also a sense that I am as lost to those people as they are to me.

I found out someone I knew very well from my teenage years passed away and it hit me hard. Upon reflection it is because they were already a ghost in my memory and that reality is really sad in and of itself. Then to find out they were dead just kind of hit home the fragility of life and how quickly people come and go never to be seen again.

There is a great sadness for most people when looking back at high school years because there is a certain naivety during that whole period of your life. The naivety of not really understanding life and death fully and being caught up in the whims of being a teenager. Upon reflection that period represents all of the "what ifs" that never became the "what ares" and maybe that guy in your life is a sad reminder of the lost expectation of youth.

a reply to: soekvg

Because it is a reminder of your own mortality, would others miss you, would others care, this is what is your deep seated fear.

Probably a member of your soul group.

Possibly a past family member or loved one.

I have had similar type experiences.

It does feel kind of strange to evoke those kind of emotions over a stranger.

a reply to: soekvg

Why does it keep sticking in my mind so bad? It literally has no reason to because I didn't even really know this person at all. Has this ever happened to anyone else before?

Does this almost prove that there is a connection between us all that we know nothing about? I just can't figure out why this struck me so hard and has been sticking in my mind.

That connection might be on a spirit level. Dream about them lately?

Ive met people I knew a long time ago in my dreams and wondered if this was some sort of good bye from them?

Who knows? How else can they reach out after passing, there is no phone, over there.

My personal opinion is that there is something in your subconscious related to the situation that is nagging you. It may be about the individual directly or about something reflected in yourself.

Many years ago when I was a Sophomore in HS, a girl showed up at our school who had been placed in foster care. I went to an upper class school so naturally the girl gathered all kinds of attention, most of it NOT nice. I befriended the girl. We went out driving around for fun one night in my sports car and had a good time. Not long afterward, I moved away and never really spoke to her again. About 10 years later, I saw her again by coincidence when I had come back into town. She was a single parent with 3 young kids. I remember feeling pity for her because that has to be a tough position to be in. Not long after that, she died in a car crash. She was drunk and got on the interstate going the wrong way. Collided with a semi-truck head on.

Honestly, I barely knew her. To this day I think of her and feel sad. For her. For her kids....but also for myself and everyone else because we lost the chance to matter in her life.

I ask myself this question, because it would be true for me as well, and I don't like the answer. But here it is. (In addition to just, "I'm sad someone I knew at all is dead," of course. There is that, too.)

For me, it would be because those years were precious to me. A magical time in my life in which there was still some semblance of innocence and wonder (something I'm continually trying to reclaim,) and even casual acquaintances from that age seem like fragments of a sacred, brief moment in time that is now gone forever.

If they're still alive, then there's at least a sense of continuity from that time period in some shape or form. If they're alive, while that time, and all of the puberty & hormone-driven intensity and magic intrinsic to it may be gone, at least someone who shares those memories is still out there, doing something. Even if it wasn't someone I was close to.

But if they're dead... then in addition to grieving for them (or at least taking a moment to reflect if we weren't very close,) I also experience grieving for both my own mortality, and the mortality of the time in question.

That's what it is for me, at least. Maybe it's just because I'm an extremely nostalgic individual. If you're not, feel free to disregard.

Peace.

originally posted by: soekvg
I just can't figure out why this struck me so hard and has been sticking in my mind. I've heard about people dying from my High School before, and it didn't bother me for more than 3 minutes in some cases.

Thanks for reading, I hope someone can comment about this.

You discovered the death because you happened to be looking for information about the person concerned.
The person died 3 years ago. Coincidence is all I see.
I bet if I researched all the folk from my school year I'd find a few who I didn't know were dead.

What exactly do you see as remotely unusual about your story aside from how you personally feel?

When you find out someone you knew dies it makes you focus on your own mortality and the permanence of death. I know when I've found out about people I knew who died, I sometimes keep replaying memories of interactions I had with that person even if we weren't all that close or had long moved on with our separate lives.

originally posted by: whyamIhere
Probably a member of your soul group.

You mean like The Drifters?

originally posted by: MrDesolate

originally posted by: whyamIhere
Probably a member of your soul group.

You mean like The Drifters?

Lol, I don't believe in souls because there is absolutely no way to verify such claims.
Always amusing when people talk about concepts like 'soul groups' as if they are an established thing.

I wonder what we call people who don't believe in souls asoulists?!

a reply to: grainofsand

I believe in chicken and waffles.

a reply to: grainofsand


There is also no way to verify that it does not exist. We know nothing at all about how anything works. Scientists think they have a grasp on things but they really don't, it's all an estimation and it's all guessing based on the work of other humans and a collective knowledge from countless years past of, again... more humans. Humans who never left this planet, humans who play with numbers (again, invented by humans in the 3rd dimension, on planet earth.) None of this knowledge comes from the supernatural, aliens, 'beings' of other dimensions.

So, we know absolutely nothing - there is no way to prove or disprove of your soul.

originally posted by: soekvg
a reply to: grainofsand


There is also no way to verify that it does not exist. We know nothing at all about how anything works. Scientists think they have a grasp on things but they really don't, it's all an estimation and it's all guessing based on the work of other humans and a collective knowledge from countless years past of, again... more humans. Humans who never left this planet, humans who play with numbers (again, invented by humans in the 3rd dimension, on planet earth.) None of this knowledge comes from the supernatural, aliens, 'beings' of other dimensions.

So, we know absolutely nothing - there is no way to prove or disprove of your soul.

Yes, quite, there is also absolutely no reason to believe in something that we have no way to prove or disprove.
You make a valid point.
It is why I do not believe in souls.

a reply to: grainofsand

Maybe before you try to insult a member.

You should educate yourself.

I know it's easier to call names...

Just because you don't know about something.

Don't discount something some of us have studied for decades.

Honestly, that's weak.

a reply to: grainofsand

Then give me a reason NOT to believe in something.

We all have a single currency that we spend, constantly.
We cannot gain it back, and there is no savings account for this currency.
You cannot earn more of it, you can only spend it.

It is your time.

So spend it wisely, because there is no balance look-up, there is no teller to ask either.


Me, I invest my currency in people, I spend my time helping them, yet they do not see the real value that is given.

It's sad to loose someone you knew of, but never got the chance to know. I wager most people who mourn so, subconsciously do it because they realize they never got the chance to learn their stories, or share some currency.

What I was always curious about, were those who know at the exact moment a close friend / loved one passes. The only answer I can think of would be akin to quantum entanglement. But that is a topic for another thread.

Peace to you all, and here is to time well spent.

originally posted by: whyamIhere
a reply to: grainofsand

Maybe before you try to insult a member.
You should educate yourself.
I know it's easier to call names...
Just because you don't know about something.
Don't discount something some of us have studied for decades.
Honestly, that's weak.

Oh behave with your whining.
Who exactly have I insulted and how?
I said I don't believe in souls because there is absolutely no evidence to support such claims.
So, have you studied this for decades then? What is your evidence that verifies claims of souls? Please do share it here.
I reckon you have nothing but opinion, but if you do have some groundbreaking new evidence I am open to change so please do share and explain to me why I should believe what you do.
I won't hold my breath for too long though.

originally posted by: soekvg
a reply to: grainofsand

Then give me a reason NOT to believe in something.

Why? I'm not saying souls do not exist, just that there is no evidence drawing me towards believing in such things.
Believe whatever you like, but I ask a similar question back at ya...Give me a reason NOT to believe in Pixies. There is as little evidence of them as there is souls.

Come on folks, you are the ones making the claims so share your evidence confirming souls. You have nothing except unverifiable claims as far as I see it.

a reply to: grainofsand

I won't even try to explain something so wonderful.

To a negative little troll like yourself.

Never respond to my posts on this site again.

NEVER

originally posted by: whyamIhere
a reply to: grainofsand

I won't even try to explain something so wonderful.

To a negative little troll like yourself.

Never respond to my posts on this site again.

NEVER

Haha, who do you think you are?
I'll respond to whatever I wish so long as I keep to the T's and C's and whatever decisions the mod team make.

So, come on, what is this amazing groundbreaking evidence to support your claims of a soul?
You will be a worldwide sensation, fame, riches, all the rest of it if you finally have something verifiable, simply because nobody else in the world has been able to provide supporting evidence for souls.

I say you have nothing but faith/belief and opinion, but you are deflecting because you know that and can't admit it lol