99 Ways to Annoy an Atheist

First, I do apologize for my link leading to a Facebook post. I truly despise Facebook and to a lesser extent all social media and I know many of you don't have an account.

Second, I love to play devil's advocate and at times troll certain groups of self-righteous individuals that I find amusing or annoying and one of my favorite targets is Atheists. While I do like to poke fun at them at times I generally feel sorry for them so this is intended in jest and not so much as trying to kick a group of people while they are down.

Thirdly, I am not religious, but consider myself spiritual. I don't know exactly what form the Prime Mover takes, but I am convinced there is more to this elegant universe of ours than some random mixing of gasses and liquids.

Anyway, please see HERE for the complete list, but I have posted some highlights below for those of you that can't or don't wish to view the post on Facebook.

99 Ways to Annoy an Atheist
1. Ask her why they are bitter against God.
3. At every available opportunity refer to Atheism as "a religion".
6. Use multiple versions of Pascal's Wager as though you thought them up yourself.
12. Use the fact that the Atheist can't fully explain to you how the universe was formed as evidence that god done it.
14. Say you will pray for her; And make sure they know you said it out of spite.
15. No matter how many times you are corrected and how much evidence you see to the contrary ... Always claim that America is a Christian nation founded by Christians on Christian principles.
16. Say that separation of church and state isn't in the Constitution; insist that the Constitution is based on the Ten Commandments.
17. Accuse them of persecuting you.
18. Point out that we all take things on faith.
19. Use the Second Law of Thermodynamics to disprove evolution.
20. Before starting an argument, say "You're an atheist? That means you're going to hell!"
21. After losing the argument say, "I pity you."
29. Insist that the Bible is meant to be taken literally — all except that verse they just showed you.
42. Claim that logic is the atheist's god.
43. Use only circular reasoning.
46. Use the phrase "Hate the sin, love the sinner" as a blanket response to the notion that Christianity is at fault for something.
47. State that Christianity has done a lot of good along with all the mass murder.
48. When they take the time and trouble to explain where your analogy or interpretation is at fault, begin your response with a *sigh*, so he'll know how patient you're being.
52. Tell them that Christians aren't perfect — just forgiven.
58. Tell them it's his responsibility to prove that God doesn't exist.
64. When something awful happens, tell them not to blame God — he doesn't interfere.
65. When something wonderful happens, tell them to credit God — he made it happen.
67. …then tell them that babies automatically go to heaven.
68. …and mentally retarded people.
69. …and those with Down's Syndrome.
70. Treat nothing they says as credible, because they are possessed by Satan.

Enjoy!

I completely agree with number 3. Many atheists are just as religious as the Pope.
I would consider myself an agnostic with mystical leanings. Not religious in any conventional sense.

HAHA its an ATS playbook.

a reply to: Metallicus

While I do like to poke fun at them at times I generally feel sorry for them so this is intended in jest and not so much as trying to kick a group of people while they are down.

Kick them when they're down? How is your post putting them down? These are all the silly things that Christians say to atheists everyday! Now we all know that they're not even serious, but trolling, when they shoot those pat answers and questions out!

a reply to: Metallicus

What a perfect list! I've literally been on the receiving end of each and every one of those. And I'm not even an atheist.

I'm going to keep that handy. I never realized how predictable people like that can be.

How to annoy people who like to hate everything and everyone:

originally posted by: skunkape23
I completely agree with number 3. Many atheists are just as religious as the Pope.

Well then its probably a dictionary you need, rather than god.

An atheist can't be religious by definition, but some are obviously idealists. I suppose if I had a gun to my head and had to categorize myself into some group or philosophy, I'd probably say I was are realist.

But really, I identify myself as a simple homo sapien more than anything else. We are born, live as primitive creatures for a while, then we die. There's really nothing spiritual about it, except for our own delusional ego's, which causes us to believe we somehow matter on some higher level.

None of these would really annoy an Atheist, just make them laugh.

I hope who ever made this list wasn't serious, I did get a good laugh from it.

I am agnostic more tho, so maybe that is why.

That whole thing is an attack on Christians. My Grandfather was an Armenian born on the Turkish side of Mount Ararat in 1900. People in his city knew where the Ark is. They had been on it in times when there had been at least 15 years of consecutive drought. They would have looked at athiests as if they were complete idiots. They are just uninformed, and sheltered from the facts. The ark is very high up on the turkish side of Ararat. You are not allowed to go anywhere near it now, as it is a very secure sensative area.It was whole, and petrified, and covered year round in thick ice. You cant even hardly breath up there it is so high. Your lungs bleed at that elevation, and you begin to die. You have to carry oxygen cannisters. The world at large has been lied to, but my family lived there. My great great uncle was the Minister of Finance for Turkey.
Want to piss them off? Tell them the truth. They cant handle the truth

a reply to: visitedbythem

Ah just nm, no sense in it all.

I think a better title would be "how to come off as a complete dumb*** in public"

I doubt those things would annoy any atheist.

38. Smile smugly and tell them that there are no atheists in foxholes.

Does that mean that foxes are Christians? Does God forgive them every time they run amok in a hen house?

Nice list but I think an Atheist wrote it.

P

a reply to: Sremmos80Reread that son. My grandfather was born at the base of Mount Ararat. I believe that was the causasius mountain range. What Ive told you is the truth. Remember it. This information was given to me in the 60s directly. The Muslim Turk soldiers came into our walled city disguised and burned down the college that taught math, science, and religion. They also burnt down the Christian church and slaughtered the missionaries. We left after that, and the people who didnt were raped and murdered. Want to make fun of that too? Athiests are strange people.

a reply to: muse7

Ya trolls aren't really annoying and that is what that list looks like to me.

A how to troll list.

a reply to: visitedbythem

Ah the evil muslims in the story as well.

I don't believe you, I am not making fun of you.
The Mount Ararat holding the Ark is no deep secret, wood in a mountain does not prove anything.

Also, reread your self, already said I am not an atheist.

But if you really want to annoy a Christian just tell them that they're atheist too when it comes to the other millions of Gods they don't believe in.

So what makes theirs so special?

I am a Moomjian
I have spoken the truth. I gave you priveleged family information, and you have rejected it.
Pearls before swine.
My great grandmother walked across the continent with two boys to get on a ship in Cypress to escape the slaughter of 1.5 million Armenians. More pearls. I know;; you would rather eat a corn cob and some slop. Have at it.

It is not wood in the mountain.It was whole when we lived there. It was lodged in ice. One end sticking out after many years of drought consecutively. They went inside. It is still there, but may have partially broken in an earthquake since we left. I dont know. Governments know about it

originally posted by: muse7
But if you really want to annoy a Christian just tell them that they're atheist too when it comes to the other millions of Gods they don't believe in.

So what makes theirs so special?

noo noo, i have a better one!

want to annoy an atheist?
tell them you don't believe what they think you believe! it drives them nuts and they complain that your religion should be standardized (*so its easier to criticize. hehe) and that there's too many dang sects of christianity and none of them agree with each other, and they should make up their minds (Cause we all know how good it is for society when everyone has the same exact religion. oh yeah baby. that's fun stuff right there. )

originally posted by: Subaeruginosa
We are born, live as primitive creatures for a while, then we die. There's really nothing spiritual about it, except for our own delusional ego's, which causes us to believe we somehow matter on some higher level.

*ding ding* this !!

Life. Spontaneously creates god, then we die. fin.