How do you view yourself?

Do you ever think to yourself 'I'm such a # person' but then not really know why? Or have a strong feeling of disconnect with almost everyone? even when you try, it just gets uncomfortable and you feel odd and out of touch, out of place? like you just don't belong anywhere or fit in? you don't gel with people, even people with the same interests.

I feel this way all the time, even in a place like this, I just feel weird and awkward, unworthy, so out of place, and it can be mentally exhausting, always second guessing myself, holding back, feeling empty, I often sit and wonder if there's something missing inside of me? that others see and I don't.


Things like this have been on my mind a lot lately, so I just wonder what other people think, how do you view yourself? how does it make you feel?

a reply to: valiant

To be honest, I view myself very carefully, because prolonged exposure to the abyss, so I have heard, leads to things staring back!

In all seriousness though, I do not spend much time in self examination, only enough to ensure that my life is being lived, not just existed through. Thats not a full time job, just an occasional bit of housekeeping!

Yes, all of this. I feel like a figgin alien, and that most people have horrible intentions and are completely self centered and just plan s%$#!

a reply to: valiant

I view myself with a mirror.
Okay, I was kidding. I don't fit in with a lot of people. As for self examination, I don't do it much.

originally posted by: bananashooter
Yes, all of this. I feel like a figgin alien, and that most people have horrible intentions and are completely self centered and just plan s%$#!

I get that too, always having that doubt about people's intentions, and trying to figure them out.

I do not think so highly of myself.

My self worth in not in myself but in him who saved me and died for me, that is Jesus Christ.

I am an average person, not bad, do my best to help others, mow my lawn, love my wife and kids, I like to esteem others better than my self, I watch out for others. But my value of is not in what I do because that is so short lived and temporal.

My value is in Christ Jesus and him alone that is of eternal value.

a reply to: valiant

I view myself in two ways, by how others see me and by how I feel.

I try to be kind, fair, understanding and patient but let's face it I'm human, so I do make mistakes. I've made quite a few in the past but I allow myself to without trying to be over critical.
There's a time to be tough and a time to be sweet, like an impromptu dance through life.

I thought about this once a few years ago and put a surveillance system in my office for a week. I reviewed the tape watching my daily interactions with my workers and I learned a few good lessons. One was how different I felt when watching myself, little nuances can make all the difference.

In general now when I'm unhappy a red flag goes up and it's time to make changes. Life is too short and our days are numbered. Being honest and listening to oneself is key, if it feels wrong it probably is.

AB

a reply to: AnteBellum

That would be great, seeing yourself from a different perspective, really interesting that you did that. I'd probably over analyze myself and freak out.

a reply to: valiant

You don't have to fit in with others to express yourself. Most of the time feeling like not fitting in is something that is mostly in your mind, even though you may think that others aren't accepting you.

I suggest you stop worrying about everyone else's opinions, and stop even worrying so much about the opinion you have of yourself. Just be the best person you can be. Anyone who honestly follows the basic principle to not harm others has nothing to be worried about.

Worrying about your image and what others think to the point of anxiety is very unhealthy, which I understand you already realize by some of your previous posts.

It's ok to be an introvert. It sounds like you spend too much time thinking about what's wrong. You need to find ways when those thoughts come up to change the focus of your thoughts and meditate on things that are more positive.

You seem to have an affinity for music based on your previous posts.

I suggest you make a playlist of songs that help you meditate on the positive things you notice about life. Turning to your playlist when your struggling will train you how to change the subject in your mind.

There was a time a few years ago that I was suffering from severe anxiety and I couldn't stop thinking about the things that were causing me anxiety.

I created a playlist for myself. For a few years there were times that the only place I found relief from anxiety was my playlist. It was a living playlist that I was constantly adding too.

Now when I find myself feeling anxiety it is easier to change my focus to more positive aspects of life, without the playlist. Although I still return to my playlist at times to refocus my mind. It's a special playlist that I doubt I will ever delete. It's become a part of me, in a good way.

Music can be a positive and powerful force when used wisely.

a reply to: Isurrender73

I learned years ago not to compare myself with others. Not just who I am and how I act but what I do as well, to do so is foolish.

2 Cor 10:12 For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.

a reply to: valiant
maybe you should read some examples of cold reading, you'll see just how normal you are.

I relate completely. I wish I could fit in somewhere but I'm not holding my breath.

a reply to: valiant

Life is a weird thing. We have thousands of interactions with people daily. Sometimes we feel like we fit in, other days we don't. Ultimately, we are our own critiques. I am a female bodybuilder. Every morning, at the same exact time, I look in the mirror. I used to be extremely hard on myself, hard on my looks, and then I realized...is it worth all this worrying and energy? No. When I look in the mirror, I realize I have flaws but flaws are beautiful. They make us unique and don't define who we are. I see a confident, beautiful, hard working and dedicated individual. I stay open minded because I know that each day isn't going to be a ray of sunshine. Every individual experiences good and bad days, and I'll continue to look in the mirror and know that I worked my butt off that day, gave it my all, and lived. Lived? Something people forget to do. Be happy, enjoy the good AND bad days, and don't be too critical of yourself. Find happiness in what you do, whether it's with a group of people or by yourself.

a reply to: Isurrender73

Thanks for that post Isurrender73, appreciated.

Just a note here, I am reading every post with interest, I may not reply or only reply with a short response but please don't think I'm ignoring anyone.

a reply to: ofleming

Something you said there, 'lived' ... I'm not sure I have done that in a long time!

Side note, I think it's so awesome that you're a bodybuilder, much respect!

a reply to: valiant

I know exactly how you feel. I have those same thoughts and feelings. It's not easy to be in a room full of people and feel like you just don't belong. People who don't have social anxiety don't realize how difficult it is to just do normal, everyday things.

a reply to: EchoesInTime

It's extremely difficult, and impossible to explain to people who don't have it! and more often than not leads to a lonely life.

I'm a brown shoe in a room of tuxedos. I often feel like I don't belong, but never doubt my self worth. I don't base my worthiness of drawing air by what others think of me, only what I am able to contribute. It can be a lonely existence, but I lucked out by finding a person that accepts me warts and all, and brings out the best in me.

I hope you find yours.

I usually view myself in the mirror.

I'm olaru12 and I'm an alcoholic. If I lose sight of that fact, I am doomed to a life of fear, loneliness, and desperation.

Clean and sober for a quite a while... One day at a time.....