Advice about toxic coworkers?

Simply put there are two types of people:
The Survivor: The smart, mentally strong individual who takes the bull by the horns. This person may not be strong physically; physicality seems to have less to do with survival than people think. It is the person who can keep his emotions in check, assess the situation, think outside the box, and take a lead in making their current state better than it was just a few minutes ago. This person’s forte is solutions.

The Victim: This person blames everyone but themselves for their situation in life, they have either had a bad upbringing, been a victim of the system, and they are always looking to “others” as a solution to their current state. This person could conceivable bench press 400lbs, but it makes no difference because their state of mind will lead to their downfall. This person’s forte is making excuses.

What separates these two groups is not training, strength, ability, intelligence or any of those obvious things we look for…it is initiative and common sense.

beasurvivor.blogspot.co.uk...
There is lots of advice online on how to deal with 'toxic people' or 'crazy makers' - how to spot them and how to deal with them.
There are books out there which will help as well - I just went to Amazon and found a book called 'Toxic People: Decontaminate Difficult People at Work Without Using Weapons Or Duct Tape'. www.amazon.co.uk...

a reply to: Revolution9

Our little conversation has helped me very much.

Through 'talking things over' I just made a link that I hadn't made before. I'm incredibly happy about that

Thank you for the song.

a reply to: Itisnowagain yes my boss took me aside and started being weird and I knew they had been doing coke at lunch, he was acting erratic showing me plans of where he wanted the company to go, but he was basically just jabbering away at me. It was weird and made me feel uncomfortable. I also knew he had made a pass at one of my female colleagues. This was my boss and not the sort of behaviour you expect from someone quite senior.

a reply to: woodwardjnr
You said that you told HR (when you were leaving) - what reaction did you receive from them about this matter?

a reply to: Itisnowagain
They knew there was a problem with this boss. I think they wanted me to inform them of what I knew, they kept asking, if he was the reason I was leaving. I said it was one of the reasons.

a reply to: Look2theSacredHeart

Find somewhere else to work...that's all I can say, because there are just toxic places to work, and no amount of effort will change it until there is someone in a position who actually cares who starts ridding the workplace of those people. If you don't have someone like that, then it's best if you leave.

originally posted by: woodwardjnr
a reply to: Itisnowagain
They knew there was a problem with this boss. I think they wanted me to inform them of what I knew, they kept asking, if he was the reason I was leaving. I said it was one of the reasons.

Did you go and complain to HR or did they contact you to find out why you were leaving?
By your answer it sounds as if you did not tell them what you have told me.

originally posted by: SlapMonkey
a reply to: Look2theSacredHeart

Find somewhere else to work...that's all I can say, because there are just toxic places to work, and no amount of effort will change it until there is someone in a position who actually cares who starts ridding the workplace of those people. If you don't have someone like that, then it's best if you leave.

Why not be the one that cares? Is it not the person who is being affected by this, that is the 'someone' who is in the position who actually cares and can start ridding the workplace of those people? Why not speak out and start the ball rolling?
If you do not stand up and speak out you will be running forever.
'Find somewhere else to work' will be your mantra.

a reply to: Lazarusman04
I was asleep! Still reading through comments. I will have time to engage with this thread this afternoon.

Actions speak louder than words.

Like others have said, outperform them and make sure the appropriate people in the company take notice.

This is pretty common among workplaces.

originally posted by: charolais
Actions speak louder than words.

Like others have said, outperform them and make sure the appropriate people in the company take notice.

This is pretty common among workplaces.

This makes the work place a competition, a battle ground - it does not solve the problem - it makes it worse.
Has anyone heard the term 'equal opportunities'?

a reply to: Lazarusman04

Three coworkers in a different department are a triad of chicken little sky is falling gossip fests. One likes to take things out of my job description, one dumps stuff on me at the last moment, and the last one makes up stuff. She withheld payroll and budget info from me, then when I called HR to get said info, told me to stop because HR was complaining about my many questions. (I finally called HR and asked them point blank about it, and they denied it.)
It's daily little manipulative things that make my work look bad- refusing to answer my emails on projects I'm responsible for, suddenly changing policy when I notice a discrepancy, and odd, patronizing emails and speeches when I ask a question.

I love my boss, I love my job, and I wish working with these weirdos would, well, work. It takes so much more effort to complicate things like they do. I want to just get things done.

a reply to: Itisnowagain I was asked to go to speak with them the day before I left to find out why I was leaving. I think they knew I wasn't happy with the boss and wanted me to tell them. I think they knew they had a problem with my boss and we're trying to build up some evidence against him, to get rid of him. It wasn't just me who had a problem with him.

No I didn't tell them about the coke thing or the pass he made at a female colleague, I had a new job and was just happy to get out of this one.

a reply to: smirkley I do that every day. I'm excellent at my job, and my three weirdos take credit for my accomplishments.

a reply to: Itisnowagain

I disagree, but to each their own. In general, I don't owe it to a company to fix their personnel issues. I have been through three different jobs since I got my degree in 2005--I liked where I worked and the people with whom I worked during my first job, but the pay sucked. My second job was okay for my creative skills (I'm a graphic designer), but for the skills I had and what I contributed, the pay was too small and I didn't like a few of the coworkers (high on gossip, low on likability) and one of the partners of the marketing firm was a real douche. I left that place and found where I work now, and while there are a couple of people who suck (I only work directly with 7 people), most are great, and my boss is quick to nip any stupidity in the bud before it affects the overall morale of the office. Plus, where I work now pays twice what my previous job did, so there's that.

Moving on and finding something different isn't necessarily adhering to a mantra of "Find somewhere else to work" as much as it's taking control of your own life if you realize that 'being the one that cares' gets nothing done when managers and partners and bosses don't share your concerns. Life is too short to always be the one who cares when caring often achieves zero results...why continue to waste your time after you've tried enough times to satisfy yourself?

a reply to: woodwardjnr
So your solution was to just leave and not help the company. I would agree that a company that supports a bad work environment does not deserve me but I believe that a good company will not support bad bosses.

It is amazing that there are people on here complaining about workplaces but no one on here has tried to make it better by finding ways to solve the issue.
I took my boss all the way - I had him moved away from me by going to HR and telling them what was happening and they investigated. If they don't know what is going on then they cannot improve the work environment.
It is all good and well to tell everyone how bad things are but unless you tell the right people the truth - nothing will change.

originally posted by: Itisnowagain
This makes the work place a competition, a battle ground - it does not solve the problem - it makes it worse.
Has anyone heard the term 'equal opportunities'?

Healthy competition always makes for better employees and a better product, as well as it "outs" those who don't possess the drive or skills to do the caliber of work most employees can do. Healthy competition does nothing to make anything worse, unless you are an under-driven, under-skilled employee who may get fired.

"Equal Opportunities" means that all have the opportunity to do their best work, or the opportunity to get the job based on experience and a resume, but what it doesn't mean is that there should be no competition in the workplace so that the least-common-denominator of an employee can have the opportunity not to look inept.

I wish to make a post generically.

I think after reading all of this one can see that there is in fact an obvious unaddressed problem. What I have myself experienced as well as what has been expressed here is indicative of a problem that is widespread, albiet not necessarily everywhere.

I dont know how to describe it and I will try without hopefully coming across wrong. It is like being gay in the 50's. Everyone knows it. Nobody wants to talk about it around such person. Even family dismiss it as a phase or something.

But it is wrong on every level to treat a person like this. It isnt right or fair or moral.

Flash forward to modern times. Companies have to hire. And more and more the "everyone gets a trophy" age group must be patronised in order to put capable warm bodies behind vacant desks or operating machines.

At the same time you have also fully capable people who are trying to maintain their positions.

And further you have your textbook bullies that will do anything to make someone look bad in order to make themselves look better.

I think the one obvious thing is is that companies have become ill prepared to handle the varieties of personalities and human needs that are working in the workforce.

And the companies and their HR contingency end up just focusing on hiring firing and benefit management, and keep all other issues at arms length as they do not know how to legally address such concerns.

The employees recognise this, and the bullies gain traction, the victims end up with no recorse or resolution, and the ones that survive the bullies are the ones that are able to patronize them without having to address HR or the issue out of fear.


It is nothing to do with being a so called princess. THAT is how bullies act in the workforce. Deminishing and demeaning while trying to appear a good worker.

This thread has effectively demonstrated the skeleton in the corporate closet that nobody wants to see or touch.

a reply to: SlapMonkey
What is healthy competition?
Does it mean having the capacity to make a graph which portrays that you did better than you really did?

Competition makes for corruption because no one wants to appear not good enough - so lying happens. No one is honest about anything.

a reply to: Itisnowagain not my job to improve a massive international media organisation, way beyond my pay grade, just move on to greener pastures. I did my bit