Sometimes You Wonder If The Fight Is Worthwhile

If Life were a play, would you audition for it?

My answer would be no. As my adolescence begins to escape me, the more pessimistic about the future and more cynical about the people whom surround me I grow. Who in their right mind would sign up for something as complicated and challenging as Life itself?

I know, don't tell me: I should be eternally grateful with what I do have and not focus on what I don't. There are billions of people worse off than me that would give anything to live how I do. Change my thoughts and change my world, etc., but is that really meant to grant me some kind of comfort?

Maybe I should stop being so egocentric? Life is not all that bad, plus there are people around me whom love and respect me. But if it isn't about me, then whom is it about? As an individual, surely I should be the main focus of my own attention? If I am not dedicating my life to bettering myself in every area I can think of, then why am I here at all?

Competition, envy, injustice, grief, hardship, financial stress, pain and disappointment are some of the challenges most of us will face throughout our lives. Yet, we will also experience unity, admiration, joy, success, abundance, pleasure and excitement too. Although the balance for many of us seems to be unfair at times.

Some would say that Life is all about balance. However, in order to find balance, one needs to know the total sum first - something no living person can claim to comprehend.

There's no reason or purpose to life it just happens, what made you think it's meant to be all good with no bad bits, you wouldn't know the good if you didn't experience the bad. If we didn't have challenges the game would be boring, just don't take them seriously

a reply to: Dark Ghost

This my friend has all the makings of an existential crisis. The realization that no objective meaning exists the free fall into absurdity, the understanding that life is not a choice but a bond a forced upon agreement in which you said yes by merely breathing. So where does meaning come from? What can free you of these feelings? How do I not become apathetic in such an overwhelming cynical and disgusting world? I don't know but the bottle seems to help with such thoughts, if you find the answer let me know I'm all ears. I think it has to do with meaning being subjective and whatever it is you apply yourself towards is therefor meaningful but bobbing in the purgatory of such thought loops doesn't seem to work either. Mind me I've been drinking

a reply to: Dark Ghost

Maybe it's about connection(s)..

Maybe it's about sharing with others, love, laughter, and such.

Maybe it's just all a mistake.

Perhaps it could be simply the experience, and what we can learn, not necessarily from books, and school.. But the lessons life itself has to teach.

For me, life is sharing.. Helping.. showing people kindness and love, when and where I can. Be it the person at the store scanning my groceries, to the older lady walking to the door that I've held open for her.

It is about doing a service for someone, and giving them the surprise that there is no charge for the task, and being gifted with a genuine appreciative smile of gratitude.

It is showing unconditional love to a few people I am very close to, and going well out of my way to provide them with warm fuzzies and my time.

It is... after all.. all about time. It is the one thing you can spend, and never get back, only compensated for. How you choose to receive your compensation tho, is the part of the meat and potatoes of the mystery.

The rest is about your time, my time, and every other individuals time.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

Competition, envy, injustice, grief, hardship, financial stress, pain and disappointment are some of the challenges most of us will face throughout our lives.

I can happily deal with all that. It's just the general boredom and meaninglessness of it all that does my head in. Everyone says to just go do something new, but everything becomes old and boring eventually.

Like you could hook up with the hottest chick out there, but within a year you'd just be bored and want to hook up with her friends or sister or whatever. It's all just a relentless repeating boring occurrence, imo.

But anyway.....

a reply to: Dark Ghost

You are here for a lot of reasons. You have already been, and are yet to be again, all of the following...

A light when all other lights go out
A laugh for someone who needs it at just that moment
A mirror that reflects the good in someone else back into his/her eyes so they can feel their own worth
An escape route
A reminder of what is possible
A reminder of what's really good and right and important
A song in someone's heart
A beer/coffee/soda/cold pizza in the middle of the night for any reason or no reason
A sounding board
An extra hand
An extra heart
An extra brain cell
An extraordinary gift
A barometer that reads "its gonna be ok" for someone whose barometer is broken at the moment


You may not ever know for whom (or exactly when) you are these things, but I guarantee you it's all true.

At the end of the day, "life" is all we have

a reply to: Dark Ghost

I can understand what you're saying. I'm going through very much the same thing but a little more extreme. For the last year and a bit I've been going through this strange thing where I dont feel like I'm me, that the person I look at in the mirror is the person I am, I dont understand why in all the chances that I was the person who should have been born, I dont understand the point of what most people believe to be a chaotic universe where chances are how we get through life. I will admit there was a moment, near the beginning where I was in a very dark place and considered suicide because I had no clue what the point to life was but thankfully before that I found religion (Only joking I didn't find religion) I started to speak to some people and they told me that it was very common to question existence and it was hard to prove why we're here or what we were destined to do because it was unknown.

I'm still stuck in that same place, questioning everything but I'm not in that dark zone where killing myself seems like the only way to get answers (Which was my thought) I'm actually considering trying to go traveling, someone I talked to online said that they went through something similar and decided after actually carrying out a suicide attempt to sell up, buy a motor home and travel, it's something I want to try, I cant afford to at the moment and it'll probably take me about five years maybe more but it has made them so much happier and so it's something I think would help me.

The only thing I will say is that I was given something to say to myself every morning, I have to stand at the mirror and repeat these words every single day: "On it's own life is meaningless. It's me who puts the meaning in life. Whether it's saying hello to someone as I walk down the street or wining on a lottery ticket, I have to give each day that special meaning that makes me remember that day"

It was given to me by a therapist who said to say it every day. It doesn't sound catchy or anything but it does help a little. I know there isn't much in life when you have very little and then again when you have a lot life can be even worse but if I take one day at a time, I can get through it.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

Going through the bad times in life can help us become better people. Im sure you've heard the saying 'every cloud has a silver lining' , somethimes that silver lining isn't obvious straight away or even acknowledged by the self because you have moved on or just don't see it. Yet it manifests itself through your future thoughts and actions allowing you to make decisions with more clarity of consequence.

How can someone who has never lost someone they loved truely understand what love is? Or the rich kid who has little true empathy for the poor when he ornshe hasn't experienced it themself?

To me, people that have hard lives and still care for those around them are the salt of the earth.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

I used to feel like this myself and I think it is part of self realisation.

Best advice I would offer is to live in the moment.
Pause every now and then briefly to learn from past mistakes.
If you find something that makes you fear, no matter how hard it seems, just get it done.
As long as you are not hurting anyone else but yourself and as long as you do not make a fatal mistake you can repeat the above and become the best person you can be.

Oh and life is a play, the best actors feel the emotions and turmoil of their parts more than the crap actors but it works the other way too, not all bad

What's the life purpose of a tree, or a cat ? Imagine if you gave consciousness to a tree, what would he say ? We are no different than trees or cats, the only difference is that we are able to ask the question, and it doesn't mean there is an answer to every question, imagination is unlimited. What's the purpose of 5 millions of galaxies ? 20 millions ? 50 BILLIONS ?

Even if god himself appeared in front of us and said "I created you, for this or that purpose", we would still have the choice to deny his purpose.

Would you prefer to be a key on a keyboard, or a pixel ?

Man I love being an old bag and have already worked through this stuff, for the most part. Hey well I'm still around sucking air!

There is no rhyme or reason, life just is. And as soon as you quit trying to figure things out, the better off you will be.

Some words of wisdom that have great meaning to me and I hope it helps.

" I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.”

Yes I say this a lot, not a day goes by that I don't appreciate something, usually starting with the sunrise. Well that and still being able to get out of bed in the morning!

It's all attitude and you can only change that yourself.

I see most of us have the same advice.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

I humbly suggest a more traditional route.

Your mental motor has been running too long....to find balance one needs the sum total first?? Bullcrap!

Go get a bottle of Jack-that'll shut the mental crap down for a spell- then find a broad who has a body that won't quit and screw yourself into exhaustion....

All will look better the next day....

Now for a brief musical interlude...I mean come on, how can we not have this.

Is that all there is

youtu.be...

a reply to: Dark Ghost

I think that if you were to go spend a few months talking to Buddhist monks you would see that your view point is decidedly too human and requires expansion to reside in another place in your head. Barring the discomfort of traveling halfway around the world, you could try another type of meditative practice such as TM. It does not necessary entail all of the supplemental aspects of a religion based system, but it still can show you a direction in life that you cannot see at present.

Or follow the advice of Hunter S Thompson

Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether.

Appreciate your honesty, Op, as well as the replies in this thread.

For myself - I've come to realize recently that my experience is multi-faceted. I have a body in the flesh, I have a brain housing my consciousness, and I have a spiritual form - the trifecta.

I feel like my life experience kind of squashed me spiritually for years and years. The longing I felt was deeper than the flesh, so I had to begin to seek out ways to charge up spiritually (something that had to be pointed out to me). I find this in experiences in nature (simple/accessible ones), ethereal music, connecting with other people. Helping other people - there is true "magic" there.

My 20s were rough on me, because I was so idealistic as a child, quite the dreamer. Things seemed either unattainable or not enough. I spent years bouncing from one thing to another, just trying to find peace. Instead I found acceptance and appreciation for my life, my self, and that is when I began to experience peace.

As humans, it's proven that we need other humans. Letting others in and being open with them, being helpful to others, unconditional love - fills me up.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

I am not quite ready to properly respond to you just yet. It is going to take a little more time than I have right now, but you have some really good responses to chew on already.

I just need to know which fight you are speaking of exactly.

I fight a multitude of battles each day. Mostly against myself, but there are those odd occasions when I have to put on my breastplate before taking up my arms.

Imagine this. I have seem more in the last fifty years than anyone that has lived 100 years before me. You are young still. You have a ways to go still. Imagine what is still to come.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

Sometimes You Wonder If The Fight Is Worthwhile - Everyone of us has to live with our concinse and we owe it to ourselves and the future generations.

What we permit we approve of.