Wish me luck !!!!!!

I'm going camping with the grandkids. And after reading repeated threads on this site I realize my life is in danger by stepping outside the door . I'm going camping in a state park for instance and almost paralyzed with fear because of all the missing people in the parks annually . But fear not ATS, I will keep my eyes open for Bigfoot, aliens abducting campers, dimensional riffs into which I can disappear into, PETA activists in suicide vest out to kill people bothering animals , sunspots, earthquakes, overexposure to the deadly thermal radiation released by the sun, mosquito transmitted illnesses like aids, West Nile virus, . We will be far too well armed in the event of a Isis attack . We are taking the dogs with us out of fear of a racially motivated beat down for telling someone to pull up their pants .

And I've instructed my family that if we are approached by police or game wardens to drop to the ground in a spreadeagled position And only reply with yes sir no sir .


All of our toxic tents made of plastic and nylon have been traded in for regular old canvas it's heavier but I don't want to die from toxic poisoning before I get out of the woods . Because children are involved I've elected to take nothing but tofu and rice because God knows I don't want anyone eating other stuff and being happy .


I hope I've got everything covered but before I leave I ask my friends on ATS . Have I forgotten any of the life threatening dangers from stepping outside the door ?

You should be taking about 10 guns with you for protection.

originally posted by: EnigmaAgent
You should be taking about 10 guns with you for protection.

Per person I agree !!!!!

originally posted by: EnigmaAgent
You should be taking about 10 guns with you for protection.

lol, with at least 150 rounds per gun..... You know, safety and all that.

a reply to: Greathouse

Full length fishing waders worn at all times to avoid ticks and Lyme disease?

a reply to: Greathouse

Have I forgotten any of the life threatening dangers from stepping outside the door ?

Packed the toilet paper ?

Enjoy your camping trip

...oh and don't forget to take your cane to wave at the pesky kids
Or a decent knife to fashion a nice new 'camp cane' out of a tree branch maybe?

There must be some unecessary permits that you've failed to purchase. Other than that, sounds like you're covered. Camping anywhere near the New Madrid? Oh, well, try and have fun y'all!!

originally posted by: TheGreazel
a reply to: Greathouse

Have I forgotten any of the life threatening dangers from stepping outside the door ?

Packed the toilet paper ?

Enjoy your camping trip

My God thank you. With all my fear preparations we almost had to resort to leaves.

Good job yopu don't have drop bears there you would need more then 150 rounds and maybe an elephant gun.
Have a great trip wee in the woods and leave your dna everywhere!!.

a reply to: Greathouse

Be sure to put bright yellow vests on the kiddies, helmet, knee and elbow pads.

Remember: safety safety safety !

You've missed the most important part. GLOBAL WARMING or is it GLOBAL COOLING or some such thing.
So in consequence if the SHTF do not forget to take your bug out bag, 1 each. Or half of one for the kids.
Do not forget to take food otherwise you'll have to eat the-------------wait for it, no,no I can't say it but just let me say their bark is worse than their bite.

Have a great time! Careful of big Foot, UFO's, wild animals and what-not.

Don't forget your compasses and whistles. I got lost in the woods on a camping trip when I was a kid and had neither of these things. It happens!

Sal

a reply to: Greathouse

Be sure to take your video camera to film the police beating the forest animals senseless, and God forbid you see anyone wearing confederate flag shorts or cap. If you do, prepare to make a citizens arrest.

Seriously -- camping -ewe. *Deep Woods Off*. Never leave home without it. And Smores stuff. Have fun and prepare not to sleep.

electric curling iron?(not sure why I had the need to add electric )

I just watched family feud that is what came up

ah and iPhone charger and make up

I guess don't ask chicks

happy happy holidays

a reply to: Greathouse

And I've instructed my family that if we are approached by police or game wardens to drop to the ground in a spreadeagled position And only reply with yes sir no sir .

LOL this brought back a memory. Years ago we were camping along a river in a remote state park here in CO.

Our 3 year old wouldn't use pit toilets, they terrified him. I took him into some bushes/high grass near the river to use the camping pot. Rangers moseyed into our campsite, asked if we were fishing. My hubby said no but they saw me crouched down in the grass and thought for sure I was fishing illegally.

They came charging over, surprised the hell out of me/my boy, only to find him pooping in the woods. I could tell they felt stupid, they apologized and slinked off. We laughed, said all we caught was a little stinky "brown" trout.

originally posted by: CranialSponge
a reply to: Greathouse

Be sure to put bright yellow vests on the kiddies, helmet, knee and elbow pads.

Remember: safety safety safety !

I almost forgot Day-Glo orange hunting vest all the way around. I guess I'll have to stop and pick them up ?

originally posted by: crayzeed
You've missed the most important part. GLOBAL WARMING or is it GLOBAL COOLING or some such thing.
So in consequence if the SHTF do not forget to take your bug out bag, 1 each. Or half of one for the kids.
Do not forget to take food otherwise you'll have to eat the-------------wait for it, no,no I can't say it but just let me say their bark is worse than their bite.

Actually I subscribe to the global cooling theory. And we prepared for that. Instead of one fire I'm going to burn seven to contribute CO2 to the atmosphere to try and stay off the ice age .


Edit;

We're on the road so I can only reply when I stop. This was for ice gas and cigarettes. See you guys when I hit the bait shop !!!!

a reply to: Greathouse

The park you are going to...is there a Confederate Flag there? If so, you will have to choose a different park or risk having those poor children labelled as racist.