This Atheist at a Christian Wedding

originally posted by: ketsuko
And really. What is laying on of hands? As a Christian, I've never heard of that one, and it would have made me feel weird too, but I would have gone along with it.

In the context they used it, it was just for spiritual empowerment. A football huddle for god, if you will.

originally posted by: CharlieSpeirs
You should have gone to the pulpit and said "I'd like to read a passage from the good book..."

& then proceeded to whip out The God Delusion...

LOL. That would be hilariously inappropriate.

"I object on the grounds I do not see this god you claim has blessed this wedding and is witness!"

a reply to: Klassified

Well, while I participated, I was not actually called on to pray. If words had passed my lips I would def have felt like a hypocrite. In fact, if I had been called on directly I would have spoken up about my feelings. It does however, as you can imagine, feel extremely silly standing there listening to people pray in earnest.

I'm also not shy about my atheism when it comes to people who I think will give a damn (as opposed to a damning).

I see where you're coming from too. To the extent I did participate I don't feel hypocritical about anything.

Just in case, I will ask science to formulate some forgiveness.

I want to commend you for your actions. You made this day about the people getting married and not about you. It was a selfless, mature action of an evolved human being.

a reply to: Klassified

I know what it is from the Bible, but I've never run into the practice myself except for seeing it in televangelist shows where the guy makes a big show of "healing" and then begs the audience for money.

I didn't know they did it at weddings, but I was having a tough time reconciling my televangelist associations with a very real wedding.

But it wouldn't surprise me to find some who did out there. I know of three different Baptist churches in my hometown who all had different ideas on singing and dancing that ranged from one where the service was often 90% music to one where music was considered more or less sinful and dancing was right out (we're talking near Footloose levels).

a reply to: WakeUpBeer

Just in case, I will ask science to formulate some forgiveness.

Hold your lightsaber(or facsimile) in right hand. Clear your mind, and say "May the force be with me" 3 times. Penance made.

a reply to: WakeUpBeer

LOL,

Your story made me think of about 1/2 the people in a Church I once went to long ago.

They were there for the social aspect and just played along.

a reply to: gottaknow

I really just hope I die with no body to recover, no one to attend anything, and no event to take place. I so don't want to be amongst these people that consider themselves close to me, when in reality, they've never really been.

I was talking to my daughter recently. She asked me what I wanted done for my funeral and whatnot.

"Nothing. Just do the necessary like report my death to Social Security, get me cremated. You don't even have to collect the ashes in an urn if you don't feel like it. They'll just toss them on the pile somewhere. And all those relatives of mine who think they know me? Five or six years down the road when one of them asks how I'm doing, you can say, 'Oh, he's been dead these five years, no need to start acting like it makes a difference to your life now.'

Sounds like a funny plan but my ex-wife would probably blow the whole plan, want to tell everyone what a great guy I was and ... well, I really don't want to think about that since I was there at her 2nd and 3rd husbands' funerals. I secretly paid for her third husband's cremation. No one ever even asked how it was paid for.

a reply to: WakeUpBeer

So, I'm curious what do others think about an atheist in the midst of Christians, playing along?

My daughter who is atheist used to accept her mother's invitations to go to church with her. She(my daughter) said it was no big deal, she could even sing along and go through all the motions, no problems.

That all changed once she told her mother that she was atheist. The making it public orally really makes it hard then to participate. It's like it isn't hypocrisy unless you are "out of the closet."

a reply to: WakeUpBeer

I'm also not shy about my atheism when it comes to people who I think will give a damn (as opposed to a damning).

I tend to get rather morose of an evening. Sometimes I think I should just stop posting at 5:00 PM. Oh well, here goes.

I'm not atheist. For this evening's performance I'll be of a pre-Christianity Gentile disposition.

In late 2008 I was visiting an acquaintance in hospice care. His minister happened to be there too. He started talking crazy like a miracle was going to heal the guy or something, what with all the people praying for him and all. When he came towards me for a hugging, I stepped back with my hands raised protectively, basic "stay back" gesture.

A couple weeks later, I was sitting in the back of the church during the funeral. After his brother and old high school friends gave their eulogies, the minister got up and said. "Very many people were praying for ----'s healing. I can't help but think"

Then he looked right at me and continued, "that if just one more person had prayed for him, then he'd be alive and with us today."

That's one whole lot of responsibility to lay on one person.

a reply to: WakeUpBeer

My post was harsh.

If you are atheist, be honest about it and don't play along, it doesn't serve you or them.

a reply to: borntowatch

Probably one of the few times that I'll completely agree with borntowatch. You were respecting the customs, helping to celebrate your cousin's joyous occasion, and giving support to a family member. There's absolutely nothing wrong with what you did. Kudos!

originally posted by: iterationzero
a reply to: borntowatch

Probably one of the few times that I'll completely agree with borntowatch. You were respecting the customs, helping to celebrate your cousin's joyous occasion, and giving support to a family member. There's absolutely nothing wrong with what you did. Kudos!

Except the "customs" are a matter of faith for them and not just mere ritualistic actions. If they didn't have faith, then that would be a different paradigm.

There is a verse in the Bible "My name is on their lips but their hearts are far from me". I don't think now the OP is actually really an atheist, because if you say you are something and then you do things that are contrary to what you say you believe, then you don't really believe in what you say.

I'm not Catholic but have been in a Catholic church with friends, I never did genuflect and wasn't expected to either. Also, I have been at many Shabbos dinners with friends and not one time did I go through the whole candle ritual like all the other women and neither was I expected to.

The OP's mind might be far from it, but his heart isn't. If he had respect toward their faith to pretend to do it, who was he really showing that he was an atheist? I would say that every Christian there who saw him pretend, but knew he was an atheist were really thinking that he was not really an atheist. They probably thought he is just going through a phase in his life.

a reply to: WarminIndy

Interesting theory and I can understand how one could come to that conclusion based off what they know about me. However, I can assure you that I am an atheist. There are absolutely no doubts in my mind about that one! As I said to Klass too, I didn't do any actual praying myself. I only bowed my head in silence with a hand on my cousin's back.

Besides, I've already planted the seeds of doubt into another cousin's head.

a reply to: pthena

Oh man, that is really unfair for him to gaze at you like that.

Still, I can't help but find that to be an amusing story.

Thanks for sharing, brought a smile to my face.

a reply to: Sinfulknowledge

Not judging someone is not judging their soul, or their eternal damnation, that is up to God. People are called on to judge "people" for their actions and choices all the time.

If you openly claim to be an atheist, of course, they are going to judge that action. I would suggest that if you don't want to be hassled, to just keep it to yourself.

Jaden

a reply to: WarminIndy

I would agree too.

I guess the main thing was not wanting to reveal my atheism to most of the family as to maintain some sort of "balance" or what-have-you.

a reply to: WakeUpBeer

I've gone to two weddings and a Christening where I became the Godfather of one of my younger cousins since I've become an atheist.

Though outside of ATS, I'm not as confrontational about Christianity as I am here. One Christmas I sat and listened to my aunt (the mother of the cousin whose Godfather I am) was talking about how her preacher used the classic "you should believe in Christianity just in case" defense. You know the one. You should believe in Christianity just in CASE it is real and so you don't end up going to hell. Besides this being an end around scare tactic to get you to believe in Christianity using hell as a consequence, it also completely neglects the fact that there are TONS of other religions out there besides Christianity and Atheism. Of course, the entire time I listened to her, I didn't say a word of this and just let the conversation continue while I didn't say anything.

ATS is my outlet to vent about my frustrations with Christianity. In public I keep it to myself.

a reply to: Krazysh0t

I find myself in a position where on one hand I respect their beliefs. In the sense where I can find some things about their belief I can respect, but mostly I just respect their choices to believe whatever they want. On the other hand, I can't help but think of them all as delusional at some level. I do feel they would respect my choice of rejecting their beliefs too. I've told a few. Others may have formed opinions. My family is pretty relaxed, for the most part. I wonder what they'd think the reasons for my atheism are, or assume some cliche thing about me being angry at god or something. It's telling them the reasons, I'd rather avoid with some of them.

a reply to: WakeUpBeer

I'd rather just not create friction within my family. There are better things to talk about. They usually don't bring the conversation up to me, so I don't bring it up to them.