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Doing the unexpected

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posted on Jun, 12 2015 @ 12:41 PM
I'm trying to practice my writing. I'd like to be critiqued on my story and whether I should continue it or not.

My name is Logan; I’m the youngest of four siblings. My mother is the leader of the clan of tornadoes that exist over North America. My mother is known for some of the most famous tornado strikes to ever occur in the United States. She was the F5 tornado at Andover, Kansas and Moore, Oklahoma in the 90s. Her last hit before retiring was the Joplin tornado of 2011. My mother says it is now time that my siblings learn the destructive ways of the tornado and create the greatest tornado event ever.

“ Jeffrey! Jessica! James! Logan! I need to talk to you.” Shouted Sally. “Yes mother?” we said. “As you guys already know, I have retired from my destructive ways, and it’s time to pass the torch to you elder three.” Sally explained. “ As all of you know, a tornado can only use their power every three years. So this year I want you three to practice your skills this year so we can cause the most destructive event three years from now. Jeffrey I will be sending you first.” Shortly after my mother finished our family meeting and I was devastated. Why didn’t she include me? Why would she even call me in to only mention my brothers and sisters? I decided to go talk with her, as it must have been a mistake. “ Mother, I noticed at the meeting you only mentioned my brothers and sister. Was it a mistake? I asked. “Oh sweetie I forgot to tell you. I don’t think your ready for the life of destruction yet. I would like you to wait a couple of more year before you begin practicing.” She said. “ But mom.” I cried. “I am ready! I can do just as well as my brothers and sister. Let me prove it!” I begged. “Very well.” She said. “I’ll give you 1 chance this year. If you fail it will be your last chance for 3 years.” She told me. “I won’t fail you mother!” I shouted. “Here’s what I will be having you and your siblings doing.” She explained. “I’m going to have you guys target the town of Tulsa, Oklahoma. The two who pleases me the most will get another practice this year and will likely get the two most important roles in our big event 3 years from now.” She said. I was elated. Not only was my mother letting me practice my destruction this year, but she’s also allowing me to hit a town as large at Tulsa! I mustn’t fail her. No, I won’t fail her. I will be the best rookie tornado the world has ever seen. I began prepping my self when my mother called us all in and said it was time to prove ourselves. My mother sent our eldest sibling Jeffrey the first week. Jeffrey missed Tulsa just to the north and hit a town called Skiatook. The Humans rated Jeffrey an EF-4 with winds of around 190 mph. “Very good first impression Jeffrey.” My mother said. “That’s going to be hard to beat.” She pointed out. The 2nd week my mother sent my sister Jessica for her practice. Jessica’s performance would have been real impressive had she hit closer to Tulsa, nonetheless it was still a very impressive first attempt. The humans deemed Jessica a monster EF-5 tornado; with wind speeds clocked at 280 mph she obliterated the town of Muskogee, Oklahoma. “You were quite a bit away from Tulsa Jessica.” Said my mother. “But you did very well for your first outing, debarking those Oak Trees was a very nice touch.” My mother then sent my older brother James. James ended up being a very unimpressive EF-1 tornado. He hit the town of Bixby, Oklahoma doing some minor roof damage with 105 mph winds. My mother being disappointed was an understatement. James was given a very stern lecture when he returned home. At last it was my turn, I left home hoping I could at least do some severe structural damage. I embedded my self within a very well defined super cell. My path took me directly through Tulsa, Oklahoma. I destroyed everything in my path. I launched vehicles hundreds of yards. I swept houses off their foundation. When I passed through the city I was able to convince my super cell to change direction and take me right back through the city. I used all the destruction I already caused as projectiles to destroy more houses and businesses. I twisted cars around trees and shot large oak trees into houses. I even caused a large Apartment complex to collapse. Eventually my super cell began to die and as I made my way back home, I hoped that I had pleased my mother enough.

Thanks for reading my story.
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