Is the American way of friendships superficial?

a reply to: GENERAL EYES

I get what your saying. It's sad that people will stay in a superficial friendship even after it turns out that their "friends" are abusing them

what do you consider abuse? I consider beatings abuse, but your mileage may vary. The only way any true friend of mine would ever 'abuse' me is if they just weren't there. But I'm strange like that..I consider abandoning a friend abuse too.

originally posted by: starwarsisreal


Plus I live LA and believe it or not it's VERY VERY hard to find real friends.

So you live in a glass house too, like the rest of us? Yeah. Thought so. Just wanted to establish that.

a reply to: TwoRavens

You know what? On days you need to connect, go to Off-topic, click on the chit-chat forum, and title it you need to connect with a friendly face today, or some such. I have no doubt you'll receive support! People on ATS can be such asses, but I've also noticed there are a bunch of really good caring folks on here too.

eta: In fact, I'm going to 'friend' you, so it will show up on my profile page so I won't miss it in case you do.

a reply to: TwoRavens

I had one friend who would get me to clean her house, her car (she was a bit of a trash hoarder) then take me out and buy an article of clothing as thanks, then a few weeks later ask me to pay her back for the shirt. She was constantly trying to get her hands on my prescription drugs and always talked endlessly about her woes but never reciprocated in kind.

I cut the relationship off when she outright threatened me one day in a drug/alcohol stupor.

Patience and charity is one thing, but enabling is another.

I won't get into the one guy who psychologically abused me for several months, because I won't speak ill of the dead.

a reply to: TwoRavens

Well if they exploited you then that's abuse.

Personally speaking, yes, I do believe most American "friendships" are superficial and are at best, treated as a mere status symbol ("I have many friends, but you don't!") In my experience, a true friendship shouldn't have to be salvaged or maintained, it simply IS. A colossal amount of people simply don't bother to try to initiate that kind of connection here anymore, Americans just collect "friends" as an alternate to the "look at the size of my paycheck" braggart method.

I find it easier to become & remain friends with foreigners, they get it better than Americans do. Being a friend isn't just a phone number entry or an FB list membership, it's a meaningful connection that means something more profound to them.

a reply to: starwarsisreal

Some people in America have superficial friendships...many don't...just like everyone else on planet Earth.

There is certainly a case for a group hug here, but seriously, I dumped my Facebook account on the, often, bizarre nature of many so-called friendships on there. However, by VK experience is quite different, and much more representative of the relationships that I have with the people in real life.