So how is your life up to now? You don't have to tell me.

Without going into details, here's a summary of my life up until now.

I was born into a family that had trouble expressing love, which back in the 50's and 60's wasn't that unusual. But I was a quite short male with one tall male brother, and I could tell who was the favored one.

And so gaining favor was a big part of my motivation in my early years since I pretty well never received a compliment from my parents. They are both long gone, but I totally forgive them and love them.

And then I drifted on the seas of desire, making many mistakes. Two failed marriages, lots of morally questionably decisions made by me in those years.

And finally I woke up, and in my early 40's. I looked hard at reality, and decided that I was going to always chose to "do the right thing" when it comes to how to behave. And that is what I have done for over 20 years.

I screwed up for the first half of my life, but I'm glad I finally became the person that is the real me.

A great idea for a thread. This might just be some great therapy for people to discuss what is going on in their lives. When I summon up some courage I might discuss my life. Some bad things have happened which I have not got over yet completely but I am holding my ground I think. Some people you become involved with can be quite toxic and destructive to others around them and it is hard sometimes to deal with this. Oh well.

cheers

two failed marriages is rough friend. I am guessing you never had kids. dont be to hard on yourself. I have found the majority (not all) women to be very disturbed psychologically and chose to self medicate with massive doses of denial and self indulgence leading to lack of self respect and identity. they then lash out at the world around them in different ways as a form of ventilation for temporary relief. This goes on for years until they realize they are insignificant and nobody really cares about how they feel or how unhappy they are. unfortunately for many women by the time they realize this they have destroyed relationships with the only people that cared about them in the first place.

men can go through this too but they usually come to the realization that they are irrelevant much earlier leading to a more stable form of inner peace and happiness with who they are and what they stand for. I think its a big reason why most men can embrace the process of aging more than women.

In the end think about it this way..

Life is hard. it was never meant to be easy. Embrace the misery. Embrace the process instead of obsessing over the outcome. Focus on peace form the inside out. True happiness is in the mind. Is all about perspective. If you find yourself in self loathing remind yourself not to take things so seriously. In 100 years people will think about you and what you went through as much as the last ant you stepped on and never even noticed.

try to laugh a little more. there are people out there who have cancer, are dying, in a wheelchair etc. etc and don't sit around feeling sorry for themselves. They are the true inspirations people should follow. not celebrities...not politicians.

How is life? Hehe...four failed marriages. The good news is it could have been five but i wouldnt marry the last one. She, like the others, tried to ruin me anyway. I have retired from "the game" because, i obviously have poor judgement. I have custody of my two children which is a great thing. It breaks my heart that they dont have a good female role model which will no doubt cause them issues later in life. I had to declare bankruptcy once and may have to again. I am trying to avoid it at all costs as i was raised to NOT rely on handouts and so forth. I've battled addiction all of my life to one substance or another. Ironic because I an a Healthcare professional. I DO have a good job but it's a volatile profession since I do not embrace the fraudulent nature of my colleagues. This puts me on the chopping block and next thing I know, I am encouraged out the door. Ironic again, because I'm the one doing the the right thing and have to leave. It's not worth it to fight them (proof is difficult). I am about 60 lbs overweight, bald, a single dad, and broke, somewhat-functional drug user in his 40's. My past resilience, desire to learn from past mistakes, and a shred of hope keep me going as I want my kids to have a good life. They can too, if my life turns for the better- it's on me to make it happen. They certainly deserve the best father as well.

reply to: droid56

a reply to: agenda51

I have found the majority (not all) women to be very disturbed psychologically and chose to self medicate with massive doses of denial and self indulgence leading to lack of self respect and identity...men can go through this too but they usually come to the realization that they are irrelevant much earlier leading to a more stable form of inner peace and happiness with who they are and what they stand for

Wow...

I guess I might have the same perception if I grew up in West Virginia myself.

The company of Sheep must be highly underated. You're using protection, right?



OP:

Glad you came to your senses...enjoy the rest of it.

I decided to withdraw from the world of marriage because I figured out that Others were leading me to enter relationships that were for their benefit. Don't ask.