at a cross roads

For a while now I have had this feeling of longing. Longing to research something. The problem is I'm not sure what I even want to delve into and its causing me to feel as if I'm just stuck. I don't know how else to explain the feeling other than that.

I guess it all started after I read The Book Of Counted Sorrows by Dean Koontz. I've been a Koontz fan since I was younger and read the majority of Stephen King's works. I was looking for a somewhat similar author and luckily I found Mr. Koontz. For those that don't know, throughout his books he leaves excerpts from a book by the above title. Most of it is darker more esoteric poetry such as:

Under the winter moon's pale light, across the cold and starry night, from snowy mountains soaring high to ocean shores echoes the cry. From barren sands to verdant fields, from city streets to lonely wealds, cries the tortured human heart, seeking solace, wisdom, a chart by which to understand its plight under the winter moon's pale light. Dawn is unable to fade the night. Must we live 'ever in the blight under the winter moon's cold light, lost in loneliness, hate, and fright, last night, tonight, tomorrow night under the winter moon's bleak light?

And

The sky is deep, the sky is dark, The light of stars is so damn stark. When I look up, I fill with fear. If all we have is what lies here, this lonely world, this troubled place, then cold dead stars and empty space... Well, I see no reason to persevere, no reason to laugh or shed a tear, no reason to sleep or ever to wake, no promises to keep, and none to make. And so at night I still raise my eyes to study the clear but mysterious skies-- that arch above us, as cold as stone. Are you there, God? Are we alone?

I guess its just the way the book was written (it has a whole preface before the poems describing how Mr. Koontz acquired the book of poetry, which is claimed as being cursed)(all fictitious, but still leaves a mysterious feeling while reading).

Ive always been interested in rare books so I guess that's a place I could start but when I think about it there's a lot of different topics I feel drawn to:
Secret societies
Ancient and Lost civilizations
The esoteric and occult

Anyone have any suggestions on what or where to start?

a reply to: Banquo

Sounds like you really don't know what to do with yourself.

Attracted to so many mysterious subjects.

You need a reality check.

Enlist.

a reply to: Psynic

Thanks for the reply
My interest are purely for hobby I don't plan to make a career out of any of it. I'm a project manager with a decent sub contractor so I'm just looking for something to do during down time haha

a reply to: Banquo

I would start with esoteric and occult (just my preference of those listed).

Have you read Ishmael or the Way of the Peaceful Warrior? Those are two of my all-time favorite books. The Road Less Traveled is good, too. They're all kind of mysticism/spiritual...

I've been a Koontz fan for YEARS!

a reply to: Benevolent Heretic

Thank you I'll take a look at those

At least 'Ancient Civilizations' would be reality based.

Without a thorough grounding in history there is little benefit in the ethereal.

Sounds like you would enjoy Secret Teachings of all Ages by Manly P Hall.

👣

I suggest avoiding the dark stuff and find something enlightening instead, that is probably the thing you are searching for.

Why not take a walk on the wild side and read James Joyce.

originally posted by: theabsolutetruth
I suggest avoiding the dark stuff and find something enlightening instead, that is probably the thing you are searching for.

I would go the other way and go for some dark occult reading but I live in the UK and medication is pretty much free here.

Try some Aliester Crowley OTO golden dawn stuff as a starting point and take it from there.

a reply to: Banquo

Do absolutely nothing.

Do nothing for a while and realise that you will not be doing anything.

When you have done enough "nothing" you will be visited by the "something" fairy and everything will continue to unfold naturally.

Brick walls in the mind are a pain, in time they crumble if you don't focus on them because they are not real.

a reply to: Banquo

I know a topic I've found fascinating, the History of the Byzantine Empire from its founding by the Roman Emperor Constantine, to it's ultimate collapse in 1453. One great resource for information is at: www.doaks.org...

I think you'll find some free publications at: www.doaks.org...

If you need incentive background information to get a handle on what makes this area of research so interesting, drop me a note and I'll "fill you in" on highlights of the topic.

originally posted by: nerbot
a reply to: Banquo

Do absolutely nothing.

Do nothing for a while and realise that you will not be doing anything.

When you have done enough "nothing" you will be visited by the "something" fairy and everything will continue to unfold naturally.

Brick walls in the mind are a pain, in time they crumble if you don't focus on them because they are not real.

I did nothing once and it was possibly the most productive and ininsiring time I have ever spent.

There is not much better than taking a step back and see what happens next. If you are so intent on finding something then you invairably find nothing, flip that around and the results can be astounding.