To Write About Not Writing At All - My Paradox

Hey ATS!

Here I am to totally glitch the Matrix by writing a thread about the specific subject of having writers block ( or disinterest maybe ) to the degree of not being able to write a thread.

That's right. I'm writing about not being able to write.

My left eye just twitched a bit. So if yours did as well, it's totally understandable. Then again it could also mean that we're all having synchronized strokes, which would fit the thematics of this thread anyway. Whatever the case, don't call for help until you finish reading this because my ego matters!

I am assuming that many of you know who I am, and that at least some of you are aware that, for a very long time ( apart from a years absence ) it was my habit to write threads fairly prodigiously. Don't pay attention to the numbers on my profile - I wasn't that prodigious. Being a mod means creating a lot of alerts and alerts show as created threads - as they do create an alert thread in the secret place known as modland. The real number of threads I've created is something closer to 180-200 - a click on my profile will bring up a list. I put a LOT of work into many of those threads. Others, not so much. But mostly I did seek to add to the conversation and to be as accurate as possible with facts.

Writing has always been my passion - the thing that I do simply because I have a very deep and inexplicable need to do so. Even when I don't post things I write to message boards or publicly, I still write just for my own benefit. Things that will never see the light of day. Diaries and short stories meant for nobody. Just a way to sate the urge for creation with words.

That is until about a month ago.

What happened, I do not know. What i do know is that the words that have always filled my mind, day and night, went silent without any warning. The desire to write just evaporated like dew on a late spring morning and I have been sitting here, patiently, since - waiting for it to return. Waiting for my mind to explode, once again, back into 20 different levels of thought - leaving me nearly unable to record it all.

Yet here I am, internally as still as a small pond in the mountains. A few tiny ripples, but no waterfalls or waves.

Is this writers block? I cannot say.

Have I reached some sort of spiritual peace that has quelled the racing mind? Again, I just don't know.

What I do know is that I desperately want the inspiration to write to return. That is the entire reason I find myself sitting here writing about being unable to write! No divine spark? Fine. I'll use my keyboard like a flint and keep striking this som'bitch until something catches fire! I am determined to keep at it until the moment arrives when inspiration, once again, floods my thoughts and I find myself thinking "Oh, damn, I have to write a thread about that RIGHT NOW!"

ATS has a LOT of people who have the same connection to the written medium as I have. People who write because they are driven to do so. I am left to ask - is this a common thing that others have lived through? This total silence from the normal internal cacauphony of ideas? Is this some right of passage that writers endure? Is this normal?

Please talk to me those who love the written word - let me know how this ordeal ends and where it heads because the idea of never wanting to write again is equal, in my eyes, to the idea of never breathing again. I cannot abet either notion.

Thanks in advance for any replies and, as always, thanks for reading!

Keep your head up Heff itll come back you just need some Motivation!!!

originally posted by: Hefficide

My left eye just twitched a bit. So if yours did as well, it's totally understandable. Then again it could also mean that we're all having synchronized strokes, which would fit the thematics of this thread anyway.

It's still too early for twitching here, should I come back in a few hours?

originally posted by: Hefficide

Is this writers block?

Have I reached some sort of spiritual peace that has quelled the racing mind?

ATS has a LOT of people who have the same connection to the written medium as I have. People who write because they are driven to do so. I am left to ask - is this a common thing that others have lived through? This total silence from the normal internal cacauphony of ideas? Is this some right of passage that writers endure? Is this normal?

Please talk to me those who love the written word - let me know how this ordeal ends and where it heads because the idea of never wanting to write again is equal, in my eyes, to the idea of never breathing again. I cannot abet either notion.

Thanks in advance for any replies and, as always, thanks for reading!

Certainly sounds like writer's block to me, and yes, it's completely normal. I wouldn't really call it a rite of passage though, it's just par for the course. We write to express ourselves, to clear out the thoughts swirling around in our head, and once the tank is empty there isn't much you can do except wait for it to fill again. That's the frustrating part of writer's block, because you can't force it. You can try to force it but that just leads to more frustration and, in my experience, bad poetry. Inspiration can come from just about anywhere, but for some reason it's a lot easier to find when you're not looking for it.

a reply to: Hefficide

Heff - I think you are in my mind! Yes, it's an obsession, a compulsion - I think too it's a way to let all the thoughts free and not torment you any more. Not bad thoughts - just the fact of thinking and overthinking and pondering EVERYTHING.

I have vivid dreams and that's what I do - create stories out of them. It's such a release.

I also find if I go into nature it settles my brain and calms me so that I am focused and feel that I am me again. Not explaining this very well - basically I mean all the chaos in my mind have fallen into place and now I can make sense of it and proceed clearly.

No, I'm not hearing voices or have any mental challenges (and I'm not being judgeful or insinuating anything at all to any members who may struggle with such) but the need to express my deepest innermost thoughts just must be shared. Even if it's just shared between me and a piece of paper.

My favourite time to write is on the back deck with a hot cup of coffee and listen to the birds and wind and feel the sun - and just shut myself off from the rest of the world.

Hang on... okay sending you a big cloud of inspiration. Feel it sparkling around you?

Eh I have a grand story all more or less mapped out ... and I'm stuck on chapter two ...

I feel the pressure to write, but I just. can't. motivate.

The only thing that I have ever found that will dependably break up writer's block is a stiff jolt of math. In fact, enough of a jolt of the strong stuff we'll send me scurrying for a creative project. Once, it was stamping; you know? Stamps and ink; I went nuts for 2 or 3 hours before I realized what I was doing.

What I would do, if I were you, and I am, is I would go over to Khan academy and find the basic Plane Geometry course and do that. Not only will you get the jolt of math, it will tighten up your writing.

www.khanacademy.org...



Oops, sorry Dude, I sent you to the second link that you'll want. Here is where to start:

Introduction to Euclidean geometry



P.S. Yeah, that second link is the portal for the whole series. If you get in to it hit me up for other resources.

I'm violently close to finishing my first book. Last month I discovered the cure for this, seriously. First for godsakes if you find yourself staring and thinking you're a total failure, quit. Throw your notebook or burn it and start again tomorrow, seriously. Second, quit thinking so much. Nothing will destroy your talent more than thinking about what you're about to write, slap that pen in your hand and start scribbling. Seriously, my man, be dumb, lose your smarts and just let it flow. Some of the best crap you've read from the Greats was probably closer to first draft than they'd like to admit. Always, always, allow yourself to write total # that makes no sense. The goal is just to write, every thing can be fixed tomorrow.

And tomorrow, my man or woman, if you find yourself doing the same # you're doing today, write one sentence or one paragraph, tell the Muse to go # himself and come back, again, tomorrow....every thing can be fixed next week.

a reply to: Hefficide

Hefficide,

I have always enjoyed reading your posts, because as you alluded to in your OP, you love to write, and it shows in everything you produce. I also love to write, although I do not create threads very often. I prefer to respond to threads, and occasionally chuck a poem out when the mood takes me.

What I would say about the block you are currently experiencing is this. Your mind is unique, as are all minds. Though they share like features in common, they are all very different from one another in some pretty important respects, largely owing to the fact that each of us has had different experiences in life, and our experiences shape our neural network infrastructure to a degree, as well as dictating which parts of our minds are active at any one moment, which neurochemicals are more or less prevalent throughout the system, and how fast one transfers data from one part of the brain to another, or for that matter from the brain to the finger, to the keyboard and then to the net.

Your mind has been tuned to the written word, to the task of constructing and arranging written data in vast volume and, it must be said, with flair and aplomb. Your creative and logical capacity has been thoroughly exercised. Perhaps your brain merely requires rest after such a prolonged period of intense, and specific activity? Divert yourself with something a little more visual, draw a picture, make a small piece of furniture with hand tools maybe. It is possible that you may need to spend a little time disconnected from the apparatus with which you ordinarily channel your energies. Perhaps a good idea would be to go outdoors, take a walk in whatever passes for fresh air where you are, get some free circulating oxygen into your lungs, into your blood.

Another thing you could try, would be to delve into the threads of others. If you cannot come up with a thread of your own, save to describe the blockage which prevents you from doing so, submerge yourself into the steaming morass of the content provided by the membership here, and just throw out a comment here and there! You will always have the desire to eject information in your own indomitable, and brilliant fashion, and no matter which way you choose to distract yourself in the meantime, I am sure we will see you return to delivering your usual volume and quality of content in not very long.

In my experience, minds such as yours are next to impossible to quiet. Your desire to communicate will over come whatever blockage stands in your way in due course, and when it does, many here, myself included, will celebrate.

originally posted by: TrueBrit
a reply to: Hefficide


Another thing you could try, would be to delve into the threads of others. If you cannot come up with a thread of your own, save to describe the blockage which prevents you from doing so, submerge yourself into the steaming morass of the content provided by the membership here, and just throw out a comment here and there!

Hey Heff!

Aww, TrueBrit....that is such excellent advice! All of it!! Brilliant.

The quote above...? I'm doing that myself right now.
I can't write for the life of me, but also I am kinda hiding. Too many stressful things going on in real life and I've lost my words.

I am doing exactly what you suggested True....reading other threads, throwing out the odd comment and not getting into personal conversation. It's a distraction until I feel ready and able to commit to something again.

It will come back Heff, don't worry. We will be here when it does.

jacygirl

a reply to: jacygirl

Greetings Jacygirl!

It is necessary every now and again, to decompress before entering into taxing endeavours! But having a rest from a thing, does not mean giving up entirely!

Heff, it is sort of like having a problem with an erection prior to the little pills.

The more you worry, the worse it will get. The more you try, the more you can't write.

I suggest you go do something else or try doing something that is related to writing.

Try playing with lego or meccanno or whatever you have. Plant some veggies. DO some wood work.

Get a copy of Dragon Dictate (v13) and train it well.

DO some artwork here, no experience required. nathanfriend.io...

Trust me .... it will come back and that will happen when you stop worrying about it.

When I have a problem with one of my books, I switch to writing a short story or two or I go and build a new Lego Star Ship.

When all else fails, read! Go and read all of my short stories. Re-read your favorite book. Reading and writing must co-exist.

Hope this advice helps.

P

I doubt there is a single writer in the world who doesn't experience writers block at one time or another. Listen to some inspiring music. Music can be soft and wistful or loud and angry...filled with emotion of one kind or another. Get out in nature and let it speak to you. Or just take a break and eventually things will once again fall into place and the words will flow freely.

Heff, you write so beautifully about not being able to write. You wrote! So there!

I write a ton in my career/job, but it's stuff I have to write. I do it every day, with flair when time permits. But it does not quell the inner voice or express my creative drive.

Those writing muses come to me at their bidding, not mine. I will get a feeling, an itch, a thought at the edges of my observation. I know it is there, just out of my mind's eye, my being's senses. I feel antsy. Witchy. Mysterious. Full of potential and divine creativity. It's calling to me. It's dancing, in the shadows. I want to see it, feel it, hear it -- but no, not until it's ready to come to me. When it does, it is all powerful. I HAVE TO WRITE. But not what I may want to write, or be thinking would be nice to write, or lucrative to write. No, it's what the muse wants. And funny, when I start to pour it out, it is what I want too, just didn't know it. It comes out, fully formed. Beautiful. Enough and perfect. I don't edit my creative work. My poetry, well, I've come to realize it isn't really mine. It just IS. And I birth it into this 3D world. And it is perfect as is. What could I add to it? Spit and polish? Grammar rules to show how educated I am?

No. Poetry is Beauty.

With my fiction works, while I do some editing, it still flows out of me. Sometimes I can't keep up with what pours out. Even my personal projects -- like web copy or planning for my own business -- flows out of me easily and effortlessly.

Yet, my work writing at my day job never comes close to that. It is always "work" and I have to work at it.

The stillness you speak of...it can be depth that you are navigating. Like diving deep into the subconscious ocean of potentiality. Embrace it. Dance with it. Laugh with it. Cry with it.

You are poetry in motion.

No worries.

your past endeavours no longer bring you contentment? Hmm, sounds familiar......( like me!

Time to move ahead.
Do some soul searching and you will find what the next phase in your progression through this life holds in store (like the Moderator assignment) .

It's all about progression and experiences.
Learning, growing.

You may write again...........you may find it no longer serves the purpose it once did.

PROGESSION

a reply to: Hefficide

I haven't written my worth in a long time.

I know it's still in here some where though...I do know that much.

It will rear it's weary head eventually.

Same for you.

It will come back.

I play around with writing. I write short stories and poetry. I don't know if you know who Ray Bradbury is, he is a science fiction writer. His technique to write was to lie in bed just after he woke up and think about the next chapters. You are still in an alpha state or mild day dream state. I have tried it and it works. My imagination seems to flow better and ideas just come easy. I write the ideas down or remember them for when I get back to the computer. Forcing it doesn't work it either flows or it doesn't. Try it out and see if it works for you.

I've written quite a few personal level threads and I honestly must say that the replies to this one have left me feeling more positive than any of the others.

Thank you so much to all of you who replied with such kind and wise words! I am in your debt.