ATS Confession

i don't know if this was ever a thing in other countries but there was this fad in italy for a while of collecting these prepayed cards for public phones. at the time when cellphones were not a thing.
It was a big deal and a bunch of kids used to collect them, the cards had pictures of famous monuments or cartoon character and stuff on them.
So me and my very best friend would steal some of them from the backpacks of our classmates...and sell them back to them, they had so many they could not even remember missing them. And we used the money to go play house of the dead at the local arcade.
I'm not proud of it, but i could finish The House Of The Dead 2 in one go and with my eyes closed.
Ladies.

Then i used to steal little peluche keychain thingies from a toy shop and give them to the girls in my class for their birthdays, hoping to get lucky...
it never worked.
Now i'm 31 and some of my ex classmates still have the freakin thing with them.
"Hey remember when we were 15 and you got me this stuffed giraffe? soooo cuuuuttte"
"Oh yeah, i thought it would be a nice thing to do!" (B#!ch)

Besides typical teenage binge drinking, and drinking in clubs in Tokyo while I was stationed there in the Army (83-86), I have nothing to tell. I'm exceptionally boring.

a reply to: IShotMyLastMuse

"Hey remember when we were 15 and you got me this stuffed giraffe? soooo cuuuuttte"

Tell them the truth, "i wanted to get inside your pants but that was the best i could think at the moment, oh the inexperience", maybe it works now.

reap the seeds you sow so many years ago...

a reply to: Indigent

ahahah!
"15 years later, my plan comes to fruition!"
to be honest, back then i was so naive that a kiss on the cheek would have made my day, hell probably my week, at that age it was the time of the bad boys, and i was anything but.
I still avoid the shop every time i go back home because at some level i still fear getting caught eheheh

When I was in my early 20's I shared a flat with a friend on the 5th floor of a large building, It had one of those complicated rubbish chute sytems that all linked together.

We had a new sofa delivered but when it came to taking the old one down 5 flights of stairs we decided it would be easier to smash the old one into bits and simply drop it down the chute.

As you can guess we must have not smashed it up small enough because after a few weeks the smell started and after the maintenance company investigated they were unable to free the blockage.

They had to bring in a firm who ripped the thing to bits and rebuilt it costing the flat owners association(not us we were renting) over £10,000.

I am pretty sure that they suspected us but we never admitted anything.

In 98 my dad was broke as hell but got me an English translator so i could be someone in life, like this one



I tread on it the next month and broke the lcd screen, for fear and shame i hide it for 5 years till i move from home to college and then i said it got damaged on the move. I got broken English ever since.

Ok here goes.

Pushed my baby brother diwn the stairs Said he tripped.
Draw my brothers name in crayon everywhere in the front room to get him into trouble (didn't work he couldn't spell his name at the time).
Smashed a churches windows testing out a new catapult.
Shot jfk lol
Weed in a pals cup of tea.
Stole and burnt a picnic table in an ill fated camping trip in wales.
Sold all my dads nuddy books at school.
Was an illegal booky at school I even paid others to lose so I would make more.
Poured salt on a slug..still haunts me that one.

a reply to: boymonkey74

Pretended to be swedish to get into a girls pants.
Pretended to ve irish to get in a girls pants.

a reply to: boymonkey74

Put on a barrel of cider I found in a pub I ran...was two years out of date.
Slept with my stalker.
Spat in a guys pie.
Barred a love rival from my pub just cos.

a reply to: eisegesis

Got wasted on a cruise with my father and sister - it was an "old people" cruise for Turner Classic Movies (if anyone even knows what that is).

Anyway, my sister and I were enjoying drinks and jazz music etc. in the late evenings and on one of the last nights I got super drunk - I may have finished off close to an entire bottle of cognac.

Anyway I guess in the middle of the night, in our room (my dad, my sister, and I), I got up, stumbled around for a minute - and my dad even asked if I needed help but I didn't respond. Then 30 seconds later I started pissing right in the middle of our bunk and my dad was like "_____, YOU'RE PEEING ON THE CARPET", and my response: "But Dad, you said!" and then I passed out and went back to sleep, leaving the mess in my wake. How's that for "letting it all out"?

whoops

originally posted by: beezzer
I grabbed a pack of nude paying cards from a trash can near an escalator once.

I knew my mother threw those cards out. Dammit!

When I was about four or five there was a big dog(well, big to me at that age) that kept jumping on me and wouldn't leave me alone. It would knock me down and in general it's "affection" ended in quite a few bruises.

I remember it did it again one time and I kicked it and broke it's leg.

I still feel guilty about that dog and it's leg to this day.

I have a good one.

When I was around 12 I remember using a page from the New Testament because I had run out of Rizla(cigarette papers).
Yes I was smoking at 12, and yes I feel I have been paying for that "blasphemy" ever since.

originally posted by: OneManArmy
I have a good one.

When I was around 12 I remember using a page from the New Testament because I had run out of Rizla(cigarette papers).
Yes I was smoking at 12, and yes I feel I have been paying for that "blasphemy" ever since.

When I was at school the Gideons came in one day, gave a talk and gave us all a little bible.

One kid in my class ate his, it took him a while but he would sit there in the classroom eating it page by page.

originally posted by: nonspecific

originally posted by: OneManArmy
I have a good one.

When I was around 12 I remember using a page from the New Testament because I had run out of Rizla(cigarette papers).
Yes I was smoking at 12, and yes I feel I have been paying for that "blasphemy" ever since.

When I was at school the Gideons came in one day, gave a talk and gave us all a little bible.

One kid in my class ate his, it took him a while but he would sit there in the classroom eating it page by page.

LMAO, I bet he was sh*tting scripture for weeks.
He literally had religion coming out of his ass.

Another time I went into a shop with a rave flyer that looked like a £5 note, I scrunched it all up and bought 10 cigarettes and got back change.
The next day I was banned from the shop. 2 weeks later the shop owners sold up and left. RESULT!!!

I used to run over cars when I was really drunk.
I did it a few times - there would be a row of them and I would run up the trunk or hood and over the roof and down the other side.
Friends would laugh and run away and say I was crazy but it was fun at the time in my drunk, stupid mind.

I must have damaged some.
This is going back about 17 or so years now but still, it wasn't cool.

a reply to: FamCore

I have a similar one. When I first got married, I enjoyed bourbon and coke. One night, I had had perhaps two more than I needed and went to bed. I got up an hour later and wandered around the apartment looking for the bathroom. Or as it turns out, anything remotely white. My wife had put a white blanket on her cedar chest. Needless to say, she nicely requested that I refrain from drinking bourbon like that ever again. It's been 24 years and amazingly enough, she still remembers that and brings it up from time to time.

I now just sip the good stuff all by itself. And in small quantities. And I asked that nothing white be left lying around haphazardly.

originally posted by: stargatetravels
I used to run over cars when I was really drunk.
I did it a few times - there would be a row of them and I would run up the trunk or hood and over the roof and down the other side.

I must have damaged some.
This is going back about 17 or so years now but still, it wasn't cool.

Some kids did that when my mate was asleep in his car years ago, he's 6 foot 6 and was at the time a builders labourer. They got the shock of there lives as he bounded down the road after them.

Also a few years ago we were at a cross roads with trafic lights and whilst waiting a bunch of drunken students came along the other side and one of them decided to stand on this blokes bonnet and cheer his awsomeness.

The lights went green and the guy in the car just floored it with the kid still on the bonnet, I we had to give the kid respect because he surfed it untill the guy hit 3rd gear at about 40 miles an hour and got straight back up and walked into the pub.

a reply to: network dude

Lol I thought you were going to say her Wedding Dress was out and That was the white thing you relieved yourself on, thank Goodness it wasn't! haha, my family will be apprehensive about me drinking cognac from now on I'm sure. Giving me those "looks" whenever I have a glass of it in hand hahaha oh well, what's family for if not to embarrass/pee on your stuff from time to time

a reply to: OneManArmy

I must have smoked half of the bible.

It's hard to tell which gave me a bigger headache-smoking it-or hearing the preachers read it.