ATS Confession

What's up all you sinners? Got something on your mind that's been eating away at you? Were you a little heathen when growing up? Was your parents hair turning gray before age forty?

LET IT OUT!!!

The first point of this thread is to have fun and most importantly, DO NOT criticize other members for what happened in the past. I had a terrible day at work at thought this would make everybody laugh.

The members here are nothing short of hilarious and I can only imagine what their childhoods were like. I'm not here to incriminate anybody and only wish that you'd share what you feel comfortable with.

With that said, I'll be the first to share.

I once stole a pack of nude playing cards from Spencer's when I was little. I swear no one saw me do it. I was so excited to see my first boob other than reversing the cable wires on the back of the TV and getting a jarbled version of Red Shoe Diaries.

While riding the escalator up from the bottom floor, some guy riding on the escalator going down next to me looked over and said, "I know what you did".

Scared out of my mind, I immediately took those cards out of my pocket and threw them away in the trash at the top of the escalator.

I had a hard time stealing anything after that incident.

See, I feel better already!

Now it's your turn!

I grabbed a pack of nude paying cards from a trash can near an escalator once.

I've never done anything bad, so just in case the nsa are watching, you cant put zilch on my record

I pasted gay porn in my brothers school diary in the 10th grade.

a reply to: eisegesis

I can remember being about 18 and thinking (and acting) like I was entitled to just about anything and everyone else was an idiot. I think it was my 19 year old that reminded me of that. And to think some folks say silly things like "you reap what you sow".
Cheer up, we avoided Thermo Nuclear war another day. And there is still cold beer in the fridge.

a reply to: weirdguy

Are you ashamed of that, or are you looking for a high five?

(I'd high five you)

LOL!!!

I'm already cheered up!

Seriously though, this isn't meant to incriminate anybody. Choose what you say wisely.

Oh, and I'm happy to have drawn a rabbit out of his cave. Now where's the other one?

I remember the time when my friend from across the street and I were playing outside in the snow. For fun, we shoveled the sidewalks including the ones of the older lady next door. She noticed and gave us a double handful of fun-size candy bars. Well, that summer, a random stranger passing by had given me some M&Ms and my mother had made me dump them all out in sink and run them in the garbage disposal to drive home the "don't take candy from strangers" thing ... so, after a long, whispered conference, my friend and I dumped those candy bars in a random trash can in the neighborhood and never told anyone about it.

For some reason, I've always felt guilty about that.

I ride escalators all day, look at people and say, " I know what you did." Sometimes it works.

I tied a very large sex toy that resembles a part of a man to my co-workers bumper with mechanics wire and he drove down the highway with people laughing at him he did not see it till the next morning, he was extremely mad and he still doesn't know who did it.






For anyone who is planning this great prank make sure that you tie it good and make sure you tuck it in the bumper just right so this way when they tap the breaks it falls.

a reply to: eisegesis

I ran a porn distribution/sales ring (note, distribution, not creation) in junior high school....

Ok it was me that got up in the middle of the night still drunk and pissed on the toilet seat. Who puts a fur cover on the lid anyway. The seat never stays up.

I once tried to con the tooth fairy.

It was like this.
My brother and I lost a tooth at the same time, and placed them under our respective pillows.
But I thought I could see a way to get two sixpences.
I removed the tooth from my brother's bed, and placed it under my own pillow.
Would he not notice when he did not get the expected coin? I got round that problem by substituting a sixpence of my own. (Acute mathematicians will realise that I had not fully thought this through).

The next day, I could hear my mother in the next room, congratulating my brother on the sixpence he had received.
So I looked under my own pillow.
Two teeth.

This led to the conclusion that the tooth fairy did not exist; on the grounds that a genuine tooth fairy would have taken the two teeth at face value and paid up accordingly.
It would take someone with local knowledge, like a mother, to realise that something was wrong.
Also she tactfully avoided making any enquiry about my own tooth, which gave away the fact that she knew the answer already.

Oh, boy this looks like a fun thread. I've done so much stuff that I really don't know where to start. My brother and I were telling my mom some stuff we did when we were younger and she kept saying, "You did what?" I could see her going gray lol.
I used to sneak out and get drunk or otherwise "not sober" with my friends. I used to sneak my friends in so we could get drunk or otherwise "not sober" when I wasn't supposed to have anyone over.
We would "borrow" a buddy's dad's pickup when his parents went on vacation. We took it down this bumpy road going over 70 and jumped it a few times. It was fun riding in the back. We also used to go mooning. It was stupid and wrong but funny too. I did that once riding on the hood of a car going about 75 in freezing rain. That one hurt lol.
Mind you, all this stuff was when I was drunk. There are more things but I don't know if they'd violate t&cs so I won't tell. It would be a whole thread's worth, anyway. I was a wild child.

Just a reminder...

T&C's

I 'd like this thread to stay open.

Here's my gift back to everybody. Thanks for cheering me up!

originally posted by: Skid Mark
We also used to go mooning. It was stupid and wrong but funny too.

Have you ever pressed a ham? (that's mooning, but against the car window)

I still like to indiscriminately tag public restrooms with "Bango Skank wuz here".

Boba

When I was like 5 I pressed the emergency stop button on a escalator, it was red and shinny, altmost killed a bunch of people, it was a fun moment in the dull mall

I used to change the price tags on WWF Action Figures in Hamley's Toy Store.

Still got all of them in a box.

My best friend and myself took his mothers station wagon out for a joy ride at the age of 14 years old. Drove it onto the beach and it took an hour to get unstuck and back on the road then he promptly backed it into an Oak tree at about 20 miles per hour or thereabouts.

Took the car back to his house just down the road and we rolled used tires down the driveway directly into the back of the car so we left imprints in the sand. We also took the time to collect all the debris from the car and spread it around the back so we were good to go.

Next my friend goes into the house (4 siblings) he is supposed to be baby sitting at the time. He then screams his head off about this big crash out front and convinces them quite easily to buy the story that they just heard a big wreck out front.

Drags them all out to show them the damage to mom's car and then runs into the house to call the police and his mother who is running her antique shop about two blocks away.

Comes back out and says to me the cop's are on the way and my Mom wants you to watch the store while she deals with this. I turned 5 shades of pale because his mom was and still is a very large and not to be screwed with women.

It took me at least ten minutes to walk to the shop and it should have been a 2 minute jog easy. I walk in and she looks at me with piercing eyes and I mean piercing with a scowl and the fist thing she asked me was "Were you two Joy riding?"

No Maam we were not I say, then she shows me where the cash box is and if there are any big sales to call her at home and I say no problem. So as I sit there in a antique shop at the ripe old age of fourteen I watch not one but two police cars go by and then I know the game is up.

About 2 hours later his mom comes back in the shop and says to me thank you for watching my shop, you can go home now and she had the most suspicious look on her face when she dismissed me. All said and done the insurance replaced the car (yep we totaled it) but I always felt bad about not telling her the truth to her face and to this day it still bugs me.
The cops bought the tire track thing and they never even noticed bits of wood stuck in the remains of the back bumper and neither did we:-)

Funny thing I feel better after dumping a 40 year old guilt trip for the first time besides my wife this was never discussed.
S&F
Regards, Iwinder