"50 Shades of Grey" and it's Effects on Women.

a reply to: MystikMushroom

Well, for one thing it's not exactly porn. For another it's between consenting adults and in private. For a third, where is the 13 year old seeing this? And finally, I dont get that either. In fact, I had to leave when people started discussing it, but not because it was so shocking...because it was so funny and I didn't want to be rude.

Just like the story of O, I'm not surprised this movie has touched a nerve in a sexually repressed society that still thinks sex is dirty, and something to be ashamed of. Especially for women. How dare they enjoy their sexuality. Let the fire and brimstoning begin.

The true perverts in our society are those who want to use their own version of BDSM on the rest of us, to suppress and oppress a natural part of who we are as a species. The true perverts are those who do things to others without their consent, or to those who aren't old enough to give mature consent. It is these two kinds of people who have made sex a dirty word, and a dirty act. It's time to grow up and act like adults.

originally posted by: ~Lucidity
Well, for one thing it's not exactly porn.

It was designed in a manner to provide sexual arousal.

That makes it porn by both the legal and literary definitions.

a reply to: MystikMushroom

What gets me as a male are the mixed messages us guys are getting from the opposite sex.

We're told that "skimpy outfits do not imply consent", and we see women going nuts over a movie that glorifies domination and date rape.

To a 13 year old boy, what kind of message is he getting?

And there it is. Nail on the head. So let me be clear to all men out there... I do not want you to kidnap me if I pass out drunk, and take my pants off and place me in your bed. If I email you "forget it" about your creepy contract, I do not want you to break into my apartment, hold me down and have your way. And I do not want you to repeatedly slap my A** after I rolled my eyes at you, and have NOT SIGNED YOUR CREEPY CONTRACT.

Seriously, no hidden fantasy there!!!

a reply to: new_here

That is hardly an inconsistency limited to 50 Shades of Grey.

I thought it was common knowledge, that if you have billions, you do what you want, when you want, how you want.

If the whole thing was written in Rolling Stone magazine as a 'diary' or an exclusive interview there would be outrage and a Kickstarter appeal for the poor girl.
The Twitter feminists would be going mental and every man alive would be fearing for their safety as they're accused of being 'a rape waiting to happen'.

So why is it so cool to glamorise a fictional account of something that few would find acceptable if it was presented as reality?

originally posted by: peck420

originally posted by: ~Lucidity
Well, for one thing it's not exactly porn.

It was designed in a manner to provide sexual arousal.

That makes it porn by both the legal and literary definitions.

Not even close. If you're calling this book/movie porn, you've probably lead a very sheltered life.

There's substantially more overlap between the aesthetic and the erotic than the erotic and the pornographic. Unquestionably, erotica and pornography both present the human organism in a manner that's sexually compelling. But the aim of the pornographer is hardly to help his or her (most likely his) audience rejoice in the human form--or in some way honor physical intimacy, or the joys of the flesh.

Rather, the objective (typically leaving little or nothing to the imagination) is to "turn on" the viewer. It's less evocative or suggestive than exhibitionist. The unabashed goal is simple and straightforward: titillation and immediate, intense arousal (skip the foreplay, please!). Or, to put it even more bluntly, an instantaneous stirring of the genitals. [Source]

originally posted by: AgentSmith
So why is it so cool to glamorise a fictional account of something that few would find acceptable if it was presented as reality?

a reply to: new_here

Glad you clarified I wouldn't of been able to control myself otherwise.

a reply to: yeahright

Or Spartacus (the TV show). Now that was something to get worked up about. Blood AND sex. Sometimes at the same time.

Makes this movie look like a fairy tale.

being owned by a dom or a dome can be really disappointing to a persons parents and other family. the funny thing is a lot of the women going to see the movie weren't really BDSM officianados before the movie came out.

Bleh.......I thought it was interesting to look into the books, and discover what the draw is (I don't think it only the sex, I think there are deeper issues being touched on). I haven't seen the movie and probably won't as from what I have heard, it basically made it all about sex, and left out the more subtle psychological aspects of the relationship- which I think really attracted women in the first place.

It is not super well written, and erotic literature with lots of sado-maso action exists out there already ( including insanely rich leading male characters)... so obviously these books had something else to it.

But I consider that the people who fell for the focus on sex as the only interest here, are being manipulated by the popular press and media. That seems clear to me when I see the most extreme opinions coming from people who never read the books!

The books became popular in Europe too, but none of the reported insanity in theaters happened.
Why do Americans always have to take everything to insane levels?? Must be the repulsion to moderation.

a reply to: AgentSmith

So why is it so cool to glamorise a fictional account of something that few would find acceptable if it was presented as reality?

Hey, at least it is R-rated and can only be viewed in movie theaters. Whereas we see fictionalized violence of every sort being glamorized on nationally broadcast network television daily, hourly, minute by minute. Furthermore, this book/movie is intended as fantasy, fantasies that many consenting adults find interest in and desire to fulfill in the privacy of their bedroom. No harm in that, right? Where as violence on TV, when acted out in reality, would be felonious, murderous, etc. Point being, folks need to stop being so concerned with human sexual behavior between consenting adults and start concerning themselves with the violence that is pushed on us all.

originally posted by: MystikMushroom
What gets me as a male are the mixed messages us guys are getting from the opposite sex.

We're told that "skimpy outfits do not imply consent", and we see women going nuts over a movie that glorifies domination and date rape.

To a 13 year old boy, what kind of message is he getting?

And once again, going with friends to watch porn is really strange to me. Perhaps I'm sheltered...do a lot of people sit around and watch porn movies/videos with their friends "just because"?

I don't feel like I've gotten mixed messages from women at all. At least, no more than the mixed messages we've been sending to them for centuries. And that 13 year old boy will be just fine if he has parents who will teach him respect and consideration for women.

Just my opinion, though.

I understand that there are a lot of activist groups around who are alarmed that the graveyards are full of women who met their own Christian Gray. But I believe that's a rather dramatic overstatement. What they're talking about is abuse and rape. What this book/movie is about is something far different. A lifestyle with rules and total consent, which rarely if ever even touches on what they fear. They misunderstand and misinterpret and fear others will too, but then it's just business as usual, isn't it?

Anyway, here's a British take on all this...enjoy.

a reply to: ghostrager

Does a womans sexuality scare you?

Just wondering.

Women get horny too you know.

originally posted by: TechniXcality
a reply to: new_here

Glad you clarified I wouldn't of been able to control myself otherwise.

Good 'cause I can't control my 'firestarter' abilities...

MuHahahaha....

a reply to: ghostrager

I'm a bloke. I have read 50 Shades. The author isn't great but anything to do with lust, attraction, seduction, sex and love, interests me.

a reply to: Klassified

Exactly. What's the mixed message about a woman's personal taste in books and movies?

I like movies and TV shows about pirates and Vikings. Does that mean I suddenly want to be treated like one? Or is it possible that maybe, just maybe, it entertains me.

If a woman says she likes "Black Hawk Down" should we automatically assume she wishes she was an army ranger in Somalia? Apparently yes, since if a woman likes 50 shades that means she automatically wants to get all of "that" done to her.