Student Banned from Areas of Campus for Resembling Classmate’s Rapist

This is absurd.

Professor Janet Halley wrote in a piece for Harvard Law Review that she had “recently assisted” a student who had been “ordered to stay away from a fellow student (cutting him off from his housing, his campus job, and educational opportunity) — all because he reminded her of the man who had raped her months before and thousands of miles away.”

Listen, I really feel for rape victims, it's a horrible crime but this is nonsense. You don't have the right to make someone that looks like or reminds you of someone else who has committed no crime stay away from you.

This just seems like a horrible idea all around. If this girl is coddled every time she sees someone that looks like someone else, how is she going to function in the real world? I'm really hoping that she doesn't expect local businesses to usher store clerks into the back, or potential employers to fire people because they remind her of her attacker.

The accused also had to endure a “month-long investigation into all his campus relationships, seeking information about his possible sexual misconduct in them,” which she called an “immense invasion of his and his friends’ privacy.”

WOW.

I see this happening more and more frequently in the future.

So one thing I'm not 100% clear on (it's been a LOOONG day) is if the guy was actually accused of being the rapist, or if all of this was just because he LOOKED like the rapist. Either way, I'm becoming pretty disgusted with the way colleges are dealing with sexual assault. I don't think they should do much more than offer counseling for victims. Let the police sort it out and the courts decide if an accused rapist (and probably only convicted) is going to have their movement restricted.

I'm sorry the woman went through that trauma, and I'm sorry to hear she's still suffering, but it is her who has the problem, not the guy that looks like the rapist.

Awhile back I read something about students complaining that they shouldn't have to read about a rape case in LAW SCHOOL because it might be triggering. Come on.

I really feel like I'm missing something here, so please point it out if I am. Again, long day.

Link

I read the title and thought "did a kid rape another kid?" Now I see it's a college student, that makes a little more sense. My brain didn't recognize "campus" is right there in the title for some reason.

Yeah, pretty ridiculous. Why should a kid who did nothing wrong be banned from parts of a school HE or his parents are paying for? This girl should realize that she is probably in NO danger of being raped by this guy and has NOTHING to be worried about. I know this may sound a bit harsh, but get over it. Not the rape, the guy who looks like the rapist. He's not going to hurt you. Her fear is irrational, and so is the school's decision to ban this guy from certain parts of campus.

I guess the old adage "where one person's rights begin, another's ends" is true after all. Ridiculous.

a reply to: Domo1

It doesn't matter what your actions and intent are, it matters how you are perceived.

It doesn't matter if you never help people as long as you hurt enough of the right people.

It doesn't matter what means are deployed as long as the end is 'socially just'.

Clearly, it doesn't matter what the truth is. It only matters how you feel.

a reply to: 3NL1GHT3N3D1

I guess the old adage "where one person's rights begin, another's ends" is true after all.

That quote popped into my head too.

If I was made aware that someone was uncomfortable with me for the same reasons I certainly wouldn't have a problem trying my best to avoid that person so they could have time to heal, but the fact that this guy can actually be disciplined for accidentally being near the woman is absurd.

This is a where does it end situation too. What if a person is triggered by a certain cologne, or deodorant or pair of shoes? Make the campus an Old Spice free zone?

This reminds me of that time in college when my roommate was attacked by the guy who broke into our scholarship house, and then she got hostile to any and all males who weren't personally approved of by her. So basically I wasn't even allowed to have my own father in the room without making her feel stalked or something.

The room was her "safe" haven, and woe be to anyone else who was supposed to be sharing it with her.

I could understand not wanting a boyfriend in there ... except her own was fine. But my father?!

No, there comes a point in society when you have to face your fears or they own you. It seems to me like this young woman should be learning how to face hers rather than be enabled by everyone around her.

a reply to: Domo1

Your rights end where I perceive them to end.

a reply to: Domo1

It would logically make more sense that she stay away from anywhere he may be, like transfer schools, rather than torment an innocent person for looking a certain way. It would be interesting to see if this is only because she was recently raped and she has issues with a doppleganger rapist, or if it is an everlasting part of her life, thus forcing any other doppleganger to not be allowed in her vicinity for the rest of her life as long as she brings it to some authority's attention.

I should have done this in an advanced algebra class I had trouble with. The teacher was Russian and spoke broken English, I should have said he reminded me of an uncle who used to try to thumb my butt, which is why I had difficulty getting good grades. Every time he would give a thumbs up after an equation "of great success" he would give thumbs up "very nice" and my anus would clench tighter than my teeth from memory pains. It would have worked, if I had a vagina I'm sure.

If things keep heading down this path of absurdity they just need to bring back segregated campuses for males and females, with chaperoned mixer parties and social functions.

But then I'm sure there will be an uproar by the student body over "how their freedoms are being stifled".

Good lord. What hogwash.

Sad days for Harvard indeed.
To think there was a time that Ivy League School was something to be proud of.

Maybe the girl should move on. Sounds like staying there is bad for her at the current time.

I wonder if this would work for psychologically traumatized men.

I doubt it. But there are quite a few women who give me the heebeegeebees because they remind me of craziness past.

Anyway, the state terrorizes and rapes me every day. Can I have them order themselves to stay away from me? That would be fantastic.

"You know, you IRS agents remind me of an oppressive and sinister government, so my doctor says you have to stay away from me."

If only...

This could very easily be true based on a lot of things one reads.

If true, it's terribly wrong.

But the problem is this is just hearsay at this point.

a reply to: DelMarvel

Based on my own experience, once you've been put in a situation where a man has attacked you, it's very easy for all men to start being suspect in your eyes. It was one of the most painful things in my life to realize that I had a fear of my own father and grandfathers that was completely irrational because of one incident. But I also discovered that the only way to get past that is to confront it and push past it. Your emotional, irrational mind has to be put on a leash by your rational mind or else you risk it taking control to it.

a reply to: DelMarvel

it's from a very respected journal so I tend to believe it.

A law school violating someones rights. Crazy. We know what side of the law they train for. Changing the rules from inside with the young. Won't learn about civil rights or the constitution there i guess. Prosecutors and future politicians.

maybe they should place them together so she gets to know this poor guy and can realise that He has done nothing wrong and won't hurt her.
Might work along the lines of confronting her fear and owning it, rather than being ruled by it, she'd possibly make a good friend from it as well.

a reply to: AkaDeDrow

This was another thing I thought while reading the article. Befriending the guy might be the best thing for her.

a reply to: roth1

Not a law school. Still...

originally posted by: Domo1
This is absurd.

Professor Janet Halley wrote in a piece for Harvard Law Review that she had “recently assisted” a student who had been “ordered to stay away from a fellow student (cutting him off from his housing, his campus job, and educational opportunity) — all because he reminded her of the man who had raped her months before and thousands of miles away.”

Listen, I really feel for rape victims, it's a horrible crime but this is nonsense. You don't have the right to make someone that looks like or reminds you of someone else who has committed no crime stay away from you.

This just seems like a horrible idea all around. If this girl is coddled every time she sees someone that looks like someone else, how is she going to function in the real world? I'm really hoping that she doesn't expect local businesses to usher store clerks into the back, or potential employers to fire people because they remind her of her attacker.

The accused also had to endure a “month-long investigation into all his campus relationships, seeking information about his possible sexual misconduct in them,” which she called an “immense invasion of his and his friends’ privacy.”

WOW.

I see this happening more and more frequently in the future.

So one thing I'm not 100% clear on (it's been a LOOONG day) is if the guy was actually accused of being the rapist, or if all of this was just because he LOOKED like the rapist. Either way, I'm becoming pretty disgusted with the way colleges are dealing with sexual assault. I don't think they should do much more than offer counseling for victims. Let the police sort it out and the courts decide if an accused rapist (and probably only convicted) is going to have their movement restricted.

I'm sorry the woman went through that trauma, and I'm sorry to hear she's still suffering, but it is her who has the problem, not the guy that looks like the rapist.

Awhile back I read something about students complaining that they shouldn't have to read about a rape case in LAW SCHOOL because it might be triggering. Come on.

I really feel like I'm missing something here, so please point it out if I am. Again, long day.

Link

I'm going to give you a rap survivor's perspective. Ready to hear it? Make sure you're sitting down because it might be shocking.

It's absurd!

I was raped when I was 7 for about a year. He lived next door to me and was my babysitter. His sister would molest me as well. Awesome family, wasn't it? While going to trial, I had to deal with him stalking me by staring into my window at night every. single. night. for roughly 9 months or so. And every single dang time I told my dad he was out there, he would be back in his house until he looked out his window and saw my dad was back in bed. At which point, he would be holding sentry right outside my blasted window again. Is it any wonder since I was 7 I get very little sleep at night? Crazier? I married a man who looked just like him, only I didn't notice it until I had a flashback on Ambien. Ahhhh, Ambien, the stuff of '___' hallucinogenic nightmares. I stayed married to him because it wasn't his fault. I only divorced the creep after he raped me twice because he thought it was his right to take what he wanted, when he wanted, because marriage meant YES, whenever a man wanted it. Not to mention his cheating on me.


I've been there! I get what happened to her and I truly feel for her! I HAVE severe PTSD because of it. Thanks to living on the 4th floor, this is the first time, in 37 years I have not had to be obsessive about checking my windows to make sure someone is not looking in them. Guys, you truly do not understand the freedom in that. I have a severe OCD routine that I MUST abide by every night.

Check locks.
Check windows
Check window locks
Check behind doors
Turn on lights
Make sure cell phone is charged
Grab Butcher knife
Put TV and lights in house on
Put knife under pillow
heard a noise, repeat process
redo list until 6am then fall into exhaustive slumber.

I live in a secure, must be buzzed in building now, 4 stories up. My apartment door locks automatically. They were going to fix it for me, I told them please leave it, I love it like that. My door is locked 24/7, no one can look in my window, I feel so safe, I can go to sleep in the dark, it's weird, but so freeing! No knives, no lights, no OCD obsessiveness! It's odd, but so wonderful.

In this case, I feel bad for this boy, she's made HIM to be the victim now. Which is sad. To have his sexuallife torn open because he looks like a rapist from 1000 miles away.... Just horrendous!


(Sorry for the rambling Domo)

Assuming that this is true, this is a horrendous violation of the young man's civil liberties and I wish that he would go public and sue the school. I think it's a good thing that schools are feeling the pressure to address sexual assaults but unfortunately, as with reactions to other issues (bullying for instance), there are instances like this where the schools have gone to such extremes that they're now victimizing students.

There's a balance, this isn't it.

originally posted by: roadgravel
Maybe the girl should move on. Sounds like staying there is bad for her at the current time.

It sounds like she's trying to work through her trauma by being at school, or thinks she's healed "enough" and has moved on. Sadly I think she is far from moved on. I think a smart thing for her to do would be to work it out with the college to take a year off to heal, hold her credits, hold her loans, no punishments monetarily or scholarly, (Or even see if she can take online classes at home). Come back next year and see if she's any better emotionally. I think this would be best for both parties. The young man can do his work and return to school, and she can do her work, albeit from home, and heal, get therapy to deal with her trauma. I can say with no shame, it has helped me tremendously.