"Friends"

I think people can forget how to be a good friend. MOST are fine at it when they're younger and then life starts dealing its cards and everyone gets encased in their lives. Being a good friend maybe takes practice for some and maybe internal reminders in others.

a reply to: chelsdh

Find people with the same interests you have.

One click away. This is not a dating site, it's to meet people or groups of people in your area with the same interests.

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Let me introduce you to the solution to all your problems. World of Warcraft

a reply to: chelsdh

Yep, time to drop those 'friends'. It will be like a breath of fresh air for you. Find a friend who can actually be a friend. You won't regret it for a minute.

Yes I agree 100%, drop them, one good friend is better than the ten vampires. they don't even know they are "bleeding" you.
You can talk to them on and off, but be selective.
Fifteen years ago I did that, and it was a fabulouse liberation.
It gets lonely, but....
Do you feel really tired after talking to them?
Do you get odd physical pain?
They just need a place to dump their ailments,(whisper, i wish i could say .... here) but I can't.
You want to be nice. Understandable, so do I. ( I hate nice,nice is a cultural adaptation, that has displaced genuine communication),
so you say something like" OH, what time is it?"
If you are in a hurry it is OK to run away from these people.
I try to train them, no "Sit" "Heal" or any thing, just "You know could I think about this, I would really like to respond properly"
Or flat " I don't agree with you but I will consider what you said'
They hate me for it but I HAVE MY INTEGRITY.
I had some one once who asked: " Don't you need people to like you?" (because I wasn't submissive and complaisant)
Me " No, I want people to respect me as I respect them. If I NEED appreciation from others I will constantly ignore my self"
I will be prostitute. I didn't say that
Thank you for bringing up this subject.
WIS

a reply to: spacemanjupiter

You literally made me laugh out loud! While in some ways I think I could assimilate well into the gaming, I just never got into it at all. Granted, I'm talking starting out on Super Mario Brothers when I was like 8. But I always much preferred to watch my siblings play!

Also, with three small children and a house I should be better at keeping up, if I were to get sucked in.... My house would look like a world of Warcraft had taken root there!

a reply to: kosmicjack


You really summer up what I was trying to say.... The authentic selves that are so often ignored.

After not speaking with my fathers family for close to 15 years (no falling out, just an odd family) I found them via social media. One aunt first berated my parents style of raising us (I can only guess she means not raised in a church, because my siblings and I are pretty well adjusted) she ignores everything I told her about my life, my husband, three daughters.... All she wants to tell me is how WONDERFUL her son is. After a couple of those conversations I decided to go back to not talking to her. It really hurt my feelings,but I got over it.

Point is, she didn't really care about me or mine, just the crap she had been stewing on for years and how "great" her life is.

a reply to: chelsdh

I can relate to that experience completely... You're better off alone than with blood sucking sycophants who will bleed you dry then cast you aside!

I just read through this thread and it's surprising how many to a more or lesser extent describe what my past experiences as well as a lot of my current are. I'm most likely a lot younger than TS and I don't really have an advice of course but I can definitely relate. I had the same issues in the past in a way more extreme sense, I was vampire bait because I didn't know much better. Lasted a couple of years until it finally really dawned on me that the underlying attitude and 'way they look at me' probably won't change... at least in most of the cases. I was sick and tired of it anyway.

It adds a lot to have a genuine friend but many can do without. I don't know if TS should drop these people, to me it sounds like a very personal matter in the sense that what helps best is very dependent on the individual and the individual's personality and needs. What weight do you put on each part of the equation? Stuff like that.

a reply to: aboutface

This is a super old post of mine that I wanted to read through again... and I gotta say, you were right on the money with your reply.

I now fully understand that how we perceive our self is “directed outward”, and that others pick up on it, even and usually subconsciously. 6 years later I see this truth. I still have a very small circle of friends, but I now see that as the good thing you said it could be. My life is vastly better having a few real friends as opposed to fake ones.

Just wanted to acknowledge that you were correct.