"Friends"

a reply to: TinkerHaus

I never said all my friends are like this, just that I have people I consider friends that I have,recently, realized don't seem to genuinely care about what's up with me.

And you may be on to something, because I am a caring person and feel the need to help where I can, I put myself out there as someone to tell all about your day, or issues or whatever. I just finally got fed up... With literally being ignored until I ask "how are you?" And this is my safe place to rant and not feel like I am hurting someone else's feelings.

a reply to: intrptr

I hate to put that label on someone, it seems so heavy.... But yes, I see certain qualities that correlate.

a reply to: chelsdh

unfortunately there are a lot of people like that and people who only call or come by when they want something,finding true friends is hard but when you find them hang on to them.

originally posted by: Night Star
Everyone needs to be appreciated and acknowledged. Introvert or not.

Childish vanity.

Enough about you OP...let's talk about me.

I know what you mean. People always seem to think what they want to talk about is what is important. Then after they interrupt your topic and you try to get back to it they get mad and tell you it's not polite to interrupt what they are saying.

That's life, I complied for half of my life, letting others run everything using Ad Hominum techniques to keep on top.

a reply to: chelsdh

The fact is, not many of us have many true friends. I can count my real friends on one hand.
The world is brainwashed with a selfish mentality, a mentality of personal gain and chasing "status".
The ego rules the world right now, in its endless pursuit of the god "money".
Personally I dont trust anybody, I have had my trust thrown in my face too many times.
Just because you are in a minority dont ever think that makes you wrong. The truth, even when held by a minority of 1 is still the truth. Stick to your morals, have faith in humanity. It will be tested, constantly, but dont give up the good fight.

Stay strong.

EDIT: After seeing some of your other comments, I would also like to add, there are predatory people in the world that take kindness and helpfulness as a weakness. Narcissists prey on those with a good heart, and so the kind hearted are often victims.

Trust is earned, not given freely. But keep this phrase in mind....
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

a reply to: and14263

Haha.... I can assure you that I am not your girlfriend with a secret account!

Or am I ?

a reply to: chelsdh

I think you said something that sums up many people....being and introvert. I know myself ...i get so distracted with everything that I forget about everything...including my friends. It is not until they say hi to me or call me, etc that I remember that I need to talk to them and am pleasantly surprised to hear from them. They are in my head, I just never know what to say to them or how to engage in conversation. Over my personal experiences these last few years i've become more and more isolated. You also mentioned something....its like when you have a good friend that you can talk to once every year and its such a treat. I was the best man in a wedding of a friend I have seen about 6 times in the last decade. We talk about once every couple months and it is like we never missed a beat. That is kind of how I am and some of my friends are. We only need conversation once every few months to sustain the relationship. Now that I think about it...it may be more of a man vs woman thing like that.

a reply to: OneManArmy

The ego does appear to run the gamut.... And I was just discussing that with my father the other day. He brought up the Age of Aqaurius movement and how it was supposed to be so freeing but it didn't work . My take on that is the Crowley's of the world, with the mindset of "do what thou wilt" turned us into a selfish society that is only concerned with "me".

Whatever, I don't want to be like that and hope to teach my children to not indulge in that mindset as well.

And, be content with the true friends I have!

Thank you, everyone for indulging me in my whining! I feel a bit more enlightened!

originally posted by: chelsdh
a reply to: and14263

Haha.... I can assure you that I am not your girlfriend with a secret account!

Or am I ?

I can verify that my Mrs does not have an account here, she is sat next to me on Sh*tbook. Gossiping,

Wow I must say, I stumbled upon quite a few ladies on ATS and I did not expect there to be so many! I must say I am glad that this is the case. Oh yeah and about your friends, it does not seem it is based on mutual respect and friendship (otherwise she would notice you didn't like it). I'd say it is better to just move ahead.

Introverts and Extroverts.

When talking about these two concepts, we normally mean whether or not a person is socially gregarious and confident (extrovert) or socially shy and hesitant.

Those have to do with levels of comfort and empowerment with interacting with others. Many introverts are fine with social interaction and confident in social situations but don't eagerly seek them out.

A more basic and accurate of defining Extro vs Intro - verts is based on where a person primarily lives their life, whether they live an active interior life or are more vested in the external world. Either type can be socially confident or shy, either type can be outgoing or not. The key point being which world (internal or external) is more real for the native - some people live life in their heads and others through their bodies. We all live in both worlds; but, as with handedness, we prefer a certain style of relating to the total (material & spiritual) world in which they live.

originally posted by: Eunuchorn

originally posted by: Night Star
Everyone needs to be appreciated and acknowledged. Introvert or not.

Childish vanity.

Go ahead and never appreciate or acknowledging those around you. That is not how I wish to conduct my life. There is nothing vane about wanting to be appreciated or acknowledged.

Girl..I hear you.

I've had very few reciprocal friendships in my life....but the few I have are priceless.

Many women are comfortable with either a fan base or a mentor, very few want a reciprocal, equal, reality based friendship.

I don't give two clicks about your FB musings, your Pinterest dreams or your Instagram menu....but I do care about real life. Not reality show levels of drama...just the authentic version. Your kids, your health, your job, your marriage, social issues, etc.

I won't skeeze on your hubby, don't skeeze on mine. I'm happy for your family bliss, promotion, new car, nice clothes or comfortable home...but please also be happy for me if I achieve something or check something off my bucket list - not jealous. Even if you're not a size zero, I think you are beautiful....because you are real and you are my friend.

And don't text me when you can call or walk up the street to be social.

a reply to: chelsdh

Hello! I didn't see your name, but you sound like a very nice person.

Don't feel too bad. You have to have a "friendly environment" to have friends.
Right now people are very stressed. The world is in a mess. This does not
create an environment that brings out the best in people. Everyone seems
to be thinking only of themselves and full of ego. This is not your fault.



I am an introvert like you. I found that I can leave people alone, but I do leave
them with God. I have compassion. However, I cannot fix other people. I forgive
others and myself and I set boundaries. Learning to set boundaries is very
Important because so many people are very needy.
I find the LESS I see people the better my relationships. isn't that odd? LOL!

We have been made Introverted for a purpose.
The things of value in this world are frequently hidden. For instance Gołd and silver
are found underground. They are not commonly found. Precious pearls
are found underwater and isolated inside the clam shells. Many precious things are
isolated. You are precious to the Lord.

Maybe God is drawing you closer by pulling others further away?

Well, something to think about anyway.

Have yourself a good evening and enjoy your family.
Don't worry. Be at peace.

Yes i have dropped my friends and do talk to family that does not know how to have conversations. Both are entitled to speak and be heard. Who cares who is wright wrong or otherwise. The discussion with an attempt to relate, find common ground or not does not matter. Truth on the other hand does. I hate it when someone is so opinionated that when they speak you listen then respond. Then they speak and say the same exact thing they said before like they were not listening to what you said at all. I rather be without friends than be ignored as i speak.

a reply to: roth1

I've yet to encounter anyone who doesn't repear themselves over & over, whether in a single conversation or over a period of days.

I'm going insane.

Welcome to the world of reality. Where people just spend time with you to either inflate their own egos, make themselves feel good about spending time with others or outright try to get something from you.

I sometimes just observe when I am with other people at how much time is devoted to them steering the conversation back to themselves and how difficult it is to present your thoughts on any given topic with them barely paying any attention to what you have to say.

The hardest is to actually talk about anything meaningful or expressing your own personal problems. No one wants to hear it. No one cares. "Understand, we'll go hand in hand, but walk alone in fear." is the quote that states it perfectly.

I think that's why I take to forums like this where I can at least state what I want to even if it's never acknowledged or makes any kind of real difference.

originally posted by: chelsdh
a reply to: intrptr

I hate to put that label on someone, it seems so heavy.... But yes, I see certain qualities that correlate.

Your good graces is what they prey upon. You can quickly spot one in a conversation. Somebody starts talking about something that happened to them and right away they chime in, switching the conversation to them. Almost every sentence begins with "I".

One time, I--, Oh yah, well I--, or I think--,

They love the attention to be on them, the only importance you have is how you support or help them. If they pretend to be interested in you it is only pretending. They save face, they pretend to empathize because its whats expected. But really all they want is for you to be enthralled, led by or dependent upon them.

Most ordinary people can't understand this because they actually care about others on some level. Try an experiment, next time you converse with your "friends" try and switch the conversation from their favorite subject (themselves) back to you. Keep it up and see how long they remain interested.

a reply to: Metallicus


Ummm...I have one true friend that's always glad to see me...greets me at the door when ever I get home and genuinely misses my company...She's not much of a conversationalist...which suits me just fine although she certainly lets me know how she's feeling...She's wonderful company and takes a keen interest in whatever I seem to be doing at any given moment...

When she does speak to me I totally...get...where she's coming from...Even though her native tongue is so different than mine...I've learned certain aspects of her language...

Rar...Rar...Rar...umph...uummm...uummm means...Dad...I've got to go potty while Ruff...Ruff...rooaar..roof...roof...is pretty much...Hey could you get the door...I think it's the internet tech here to fix the antenna...

Yeah...She's a Belgian Tervuren...but a better friend I couldn't ask for...











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