just a little terrified to post this(horror?)

girl & jackal.

Under the cold orange glow, cold like the strongest rays of escaping light,
Hurled forth through millennia
From a star
Dead for eons,
This street light casts lambent death over her head
Cloaks her in purity,
Revealing that which should have been left unseen.
Exposing her
To the encircling darkness
Where those skeletal, ugly
(Utterly transfixed)
Predators,
For all their ravening desire,
Lie in breathless wait.

All around her is This City,
The #ed up
The tuned out
The soon-to-be-missed-then-forgotten
The bewitched
The malign revelers with their bone white masks
The Nowhere kids
The jackals
All loping, same as a thousand ropes of slaver flung across a field of ashes
Under, through
the burned out yet not quite deserted buildings, blackened underbellies of overpasses, unlit narrow spaces.
Loping for miles
Over fissured concrete like filthy ice
And asphalt like pitted scrying glass,
All through a cityscape innocent of rightness.
Their movements keep up This City's slow pulse
Just befouled blood
Slithering through a
Comatose body.

She can feel the writhing darkness just nearly upon her
Never really held at bay
(And just now felt and smelled a tepid carrion sigh)
By this glaring orange veil of the streetlight,
Presenting this perfect bride
In its merciless flourish of dull brightness
Something offering itself
(herself)
To be devoured.

Nothing good ever really happens out here 3:27 am,
She's had her education. Banking on it.
Nothing good but
Always pure (in its essence if not in its form)
Always true (to itself if not to its victim)
Nothing good, though.
Not as we have seen.
Not in This City, This Nothing Good City
Where
For those that would disappear completely
only two vital sins are required:
To make known your sickened heart and
To tread alone in dark snarling places.

a reply to: Ashirah


Ummm...very nice imagery Ashirah...That's exactly how I view cities...it's why I live in the country...
I've been debating whether I should post any of my..."horror"...work...not sure how it would be received...some of the imagery is quite graphic...not in a bloody sort of way...just graphic...

A good portion of what I write deals with perspective and first person as seen through the lens of the one experiencing...or placing the reader in the perspective of what it might mean to...not...be human...although the great conundrum of attempting to relate an alien perspective will always remain the greatest challenge...and no doubt doomed to fail...




YouSir

a reply to: YouSir

lol Thank you, I don't really know what I'm doing and this is the first thing I've written in years. This is about a girl, possibly prostitute, in a bad place, that's simply given up on life and is offering herself to the 'jackals' (kidnappers, murderers). Again, don't really know what I'm doing, just went with it!

If you post it, I suppose the worst that could happen would be strangers being rude. If you ever feel comfortable posting, I'd be interested in reading.

a reply to: Ashirah

Your gaelic name is apt then?

By this glaring orange veil of the streetlight,
Presenting this perfect bride
In its merciless flourish of dull brightness
Something offering itself
(herself)
To be devoured.

This sacrificial scene is quite hopeless, quite bleak. It's nihilistic - but she must have some fight left??! Cities can be lonely, faceless places sometimes.It makes me think of Derek Jarman's films, they have the same horror of nihilism and beyond-caring.
You're a very good writer though, you made that very easy to read. Despite the horror (or maybe because of it!) I enjoyed it very much.

B x

a reply to: Ashirah

Always cool to see new writers in this forum, so let me congratulate you on taking the dive. It can be nerve wracking but I think you'll find us a supportive lot nonetheless.

Very striking tale here though. Very disturbing in the good way that is only good gritty horror can be. The second time I read this it was black and white and red like Frank Miller style a la Sin City. I liked it.

a reply to: beansidhe

I know, after I finished it and reread it I'm like "Wow, if my avatar doesn't make people here think I am BSC this definitely will" LOL. Its really cool to know you liked it ... You're a real sweetheart though so you may just be saying it out of kindness!



Also, you like punk?

a reply to: CagliostroTheGreat

Thanks! Yeah, I was a little surprised that I felt a bit nervous given that I typically don't get nervous. Was really expecting some negativity so its a pleasant surprise to not be # all over. I must apologize for my poor syntax and lack of any discernible structure, but thank you, very appreciated.

My first little thread was kind of about Thomas Ligotti, he is a master at what he does, and I suppose I was ATTEMPTING to emulate him as he is so good at evoking strange/creepy almost sickening feelings without gore. I cannot recommend him enough.

a reply to: Ashirah

Nope, I genuinely liked it. It's really good!
I am an old punk at heart, it's true. I've still got scarlet hair! Come and meet the other ATS punks on Mr C the G's fantastic thread (he writes some good ones):

For the Punx

a reply to: Ashirah
Wow, that was really good. I like the way it went, and frankly have nothing to critique. But darn that censorship :p . I especially liked, like in the last stanza the lines, followed by the parentheses. Made it very nice sounding. Somehow darker. Hope to see more of what you write